Many men find asking a girl out one of the most terrifying experiences of their life.
But Neil Dando fears his “loveshyness” will prevent him ever becoming involved in a relationship.
Neil cannot approach a girl without becoming a nervous wreck and suffering extreme anxiety.
Despite suffering from stress most of his life, the 27-year-old, who has never kissed a woman, has only recently accepted the psychological problem.
He said: “It’s such a difficult thing to explain.
“I experience a whole range of emotions, from depression to sheer anger. Then I feel a little foolish for not being able to just get over it.
“There are times when I think it may have disappeared but then a week later I’m shaking all over the place.
“At work, because it’s purely professional, it’s fine. It’s only when I get attracted to a girl that it really affects me. There have even been cases when I’ve pretended to like somebody just to see if I can get over it.
“But the more I talk, the more I start thinking and the same anxiety halts me mid-sentence.”
Neil, from Worthing, has spoken out to raise awareness about what he describes as a “chronic shyness.”
While not an officially registered condition, he says it makes him continually stressed.
Ok, maybe Neil’s not gay. Maybe. But be sure to vote your subjective and utterly uninformed opinion in the poll below!
SN, you appear deeply concerned about the fellow’s plight. Are you sure you’re not attracted to him?
Whatev!
1. Father Tomb said: “Are you sure you’re not attracted to him?”
What?! No! I’m just, you know, a little curious about his condition. That’s all. Poor guy. Probably needs a good hug.
Why lie? Do you need to be sure people are reading your articles? And so what if he is gay? You got a problem with that? Feeling homophobic?
Gay guy claims to never have been kissed by a woman…
There’s the problem – well, at least one of them.
you would think Conon O’Brien could afford to get his brother a hooker!
I’m no looker, but I’ve had more than a handful of lovely girls (my age or a little older, no hags or relatives either) just pucker up and kiss me with little or no encouragement; just enough familiarity that they could see I was worth catching. Of course this all happened between 18 and 25 yo, but no matter. Is it really possible, in this day and age, to NOT get sexually involved before age 25 without actually hiding under rocks or fending them off with sticks? The song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” comes to mind now; a litany of what NOT to do.
Let’s do another poll asking if SN is bigot.
How come you didn’t cover the story with sexy pictures like you always do?
Instead you choose teh ghey. It’s either sexy babes unrelated to the story or gayness unrelated to the story.
Hmmmm, if you ask me I think you are are overcompensating, confused, and homophobic.
Got that whole emo black and white outfit. And that style of photograph is so to hide the fact that he’s probably short, balding and prematurely paunch. The guy isn’t gay, just sad and angry. Women sense that, they look for a future in a man. He needs an Hawaiian shirt habit, a goatee and to loose the $10 wrist watch. Take a few prescribed antidepressants and join a mall exercise club (a great way to meet vivacious middle aged divorcees).
could be the socks
Tell me he isn’t wearing a digital watch and white striped socks with slacks and black shoes.
So the guy is shy. Why is this anybody’s article?
Don’t we all get the jitters when we want to talk to the woman we (believe) may become the love of our life? That the guy has a well developed shyness is for sure, but nothing more than follow the natural shyness towards the opposite sex – especially the ONE… I relate to his frustration too. My advise, get a good shrink and some therapy and he shall master as most.
No surprise here. I predict the majority of guys reading this (on the internet) have the SAME CONDITION!
…Now, where’s all that porn I keep hearing about?
Not gay and I would know.
Gays would never be caught wearing those hideous socks and some 80’s LCD watch. Even a short sleeve shirt is questionable.
I would say he’s exemplifies an 18 year old bible thumper on casual fridays.
Come on! This is nothing but a clever scam by this guy. Imagine all the women who after reading of his “plight” are going to feel compelled to go try and “cure” him. Hah! I wish I would have thought of this when I was a young lonely guy.
There was an interesting NFB film about shyness from the ? 1940s (I think it was the 1940s because it was old enough for a narrator in a Canadian film to have a British accent)? The film identified shyness amongst youngsters (say age 8) as a socially debilitating factor, something to bring them out of, ASAP. So to say that it isn’t an “officially registered condition” is to practice collective mass amnesia.
Nothing to do with shyness, but
I have a theory, which is that, while gals are supposedly attracted to handsome guys, there is a lot else at play. OK, we already knew that. In particular, I think that women of reproductive age are less attracted (maybe it’s by a subtle sense of smell thing) to a guy who is less fertile. For example, maybe if you suffered at age 12 one of those childhood diseases whose late onset makes you sterile, it subtly changes the way you smell, women can tell it and they avoid you. *After* normal reproductive years, the avoidance goes away. Kinda goes against the birth control sexual revolution legends, but there it is. That is Ann Elk, and it is mine.
btw, it *has* been established that women are attracted, by smell, to men whose immune systems are sufficiently different from their own that the offspring will have a better chance of survival. So the Ann Elk theory shouldn’t shock.
7. Waltersobchack said: “Hmmmm, if you ask me I think you are are overcompensating, confused, and homophobic.”
I already said I was “curious” in the second comment. Isn’t that enough of an admission?!
I live in Hove, near where the Argus is published, and have say that this is actually one of their more interesting articles (hard to believe but true).
The Argus’s one saving grace is it’s websites news comment sections…now that IS interesting.
So now we know what Alfred1’s real name is and what he looks like. Thank you SN.
Guy needs a friend to go with him to a massage parlor. Lie back & let whatever happens happen.
I have a similar condition.
Luckily, I am really shallow. So when I want to get laid, I just go to a club and drink until the fat chicks look good. (And they do the same for me.)
Did he grow up without a mom? Or was his mom so emotionally detached from him that she never gave him a kiss?
Sure is a slow news day.
His problem can be easily solved by a combination of booze, whores and a therapist. You know what, add a session or two with a stylist to give him a makeover. The guy ain’t shy, he’s just lazy.
Gay jokes, really? Mr. Dvorak, you and your minions need to aspire to a higher standard. It’s 2009 and you live in the Bay Area. Disappointed in you.
SN should rent “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”. It’s actually quite sympathetic about guys like that: it happens, and it could be far worse. Sex is not the answer to all problems, despite what Hollywood (usually) says.
#14
“ It’s only when I get attracted to a girl that it really affects me”
He only mentions being attracted to women, I doubt my gaydar is what Dallas is but I’d say he is obsessing over the obsessing sex. Social skills standing …straight but nerd and I would know (Hey I just put this watch on because I’m going for a run and I like the timer, I’ll switch back after I promise)
He and a similar woman need 2 good pair of beer goggles for their first date and all will be fine.
Bible thumper? Maybe but I don’t see it.
Some bodies FATHER didnt TEACH him how to ask girls out..
1. BOTH are shy..
2. If ya dont ask, they can say YES.
3. finding an experienced girl is GREAT..
Well, I love the US Constitution and I’ve never kissed it.
Alfred ((HEY ALFIE!!!!!)) hates all budding Nazi’s and hasn’t yet strapped on bombs and blown them up.
You see, the internal life is separate from the external.
I’m just waiting for the Rupture.
I am straight – I also have never been kissed by a woman!
Who cares? Why are gays always out for attention. They can’t accept Tolerance they have to have their dirty shitty little sex accepted, approved of. I’m so sick of hearing about homos, that I’d like to get rid of all of them just for the peace of mind. Can’t they just practice their fudge pumping in private, really…just be quite and keep it to yourself. I no more want to hear about you shitty life than I want to go to work and hear about someone’s sex with their wife the night before. Get over yourself, God has abandoned you to your animal lusts, it’s prominently displayed on Gay Parades where you dress up in your sick little costumes. The only thing I have to look forward towards is when the muslims take over you’ll loose you heads,hee haa hee haaa..
Whatever…………………………..
Traaxx