Amy Wolfe, a US church organist who claims to have objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects, plans to marry a magic carpet fairground ride.
This follows a “courtship” of 3,000 rides over ten years with the 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts.
Miss Wolfe, 33, from Pennsylvania, will change her surname to Weber after the manufacturer of the ride she travels 160 miles to visit 10 times per year, according to reports.“I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever,” she said.
Miss Wolfe first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally.
“I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride.”
Here’s a pic of the lucky man – he looks ready for the wedding night:
Well, at least “he” doesn’t have to go shopping with her…
What’ll they think of next?!
There they go, using the wrong terminology again. “Marriage” should apply exclusively to a man-woman partnership. A “civil union” would be the more appropriate route to pursue here. But how, for instance, would she pass on her assets to the “amusement device” when she dies?
Can’t see any judge ever approving such an arrangement.
Beats therapy I guess…
Me thinks the young lady is in serious need of mental help. This happens when listening to too many sermons.
“She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it.”
Sounds like those aren’t the only nuts in her bed.
This is what happens when you define marriage as anything other than the bond between one man and one woman. That Peewee Herman guy advocated this behavior on children’s television.
Character on Peewee’s Playhouse: I love this amusement park ride.
Peewee: Well why don’t you marry it? Ha-huh.
Of course I live in a state that allows gay marriage, but bans polygamy, so the state I live in is inconsistent in the matter of marriage being between one man and one woman.
This woman is crazy…the Big Dipper is MUCH better looking!
If they get divorced, does she get half?
The mentally disturbed should not be exploited for the sake of some two-bit pop-news article.
It’s hard enough for gay people to get married, clearly it’s out of the question for a woman to marry a roller coaster.
Spare nuts and bolts…I don’t want to think about it.
McRowan said It’s hard enough for gay people to get married, clearly it’s out of the question for a woman to marry a roller coaster.
Why is out of the question? It certainly doesn’t look so clear to the folks in San Francisco.
oh freaking brother. really? i mean… really? man the world is going to hell in a handbasket faster than you can blink.
How can she ‘marry’ a machine? It can’t sign the paperwork, or even give assent. Is the park acting as the legal guardian or the manufacture?
Must be an odd publicity stunt for the park.
I wonder if she cares if others ride her husband…
What’s with that font?
Will she be able to sue for mental anguish when the park decides to tear down the ride and build something new?
#17 No, that would be loss of consortium: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_of_consortium
This ride is located at Knobles amusement resort in central Pennsylvania. I live around 20 miles away from the park and have worked there over the past few summers. I can’t see the owners of the park allowing a ceremony or anything official (if anything like this exists). I can say I married the Phoenix coaster but it don’t mean anything.
“This follows a ‘courtship’ of 3,000 rides…”
Slut.
I love how the ignorant bigots come out and start comparing a woman in love with a roller coaster to homosexuals.
Why is it that normal people are happy to live and let live but fundamentalist, wacko, conservative, nutjobs can’t seem to live thier lives if other people are different from them?
#20
Now I have to clean up the mouthful of coffee I shot out from laughing. Well done.
At least she doesn’t have to wait until middle age for her husband to become inanimate.
Indeed, the terminology is all messed up. “Marriage” is a spiritual thing that is preformed in a church or other religious institution. Civil Union, is a legal and financial coupling, which is the only thing the state can actually license, regardless of what they call it.
If we get that straightened out, we will have made a lot of progress.
Nowthen, I suppose their children would be “kiddie rides”.
I bet she gets pissed when little kids puke while taking the ride. And is that going to be considered “cheating” if the ride lets on other people?
Those long distance relationships sometimes do work out. They deserve each other.
The Tunnel of Love ride is SO jealous.
#21 Roller coaster love is just as foolish as gay marriage.
1. a roller coaster doesn’t get jealous if you ride other roller coasters.
2. If you’ve been out with the guys the roller coaster doesn’t ask where you’ve been.
3. A roller coaster will carry the beer for you all day and not bitch about it.
4. A roller coaster doesn’t expect flowers, dinner and a movie before you can ride it.
etc.
#28
what’s foolish is naming your kid Benjamin.
Did your parents want you to grow up to be a limp-dick, insecure, scared, homophobic, bullied little pussy?
now go to your room and suck on your thumb “Benjamin”