I appreciate truly simple hustles. And I learned long ago that The Religious were always the easiest to dazzle with footwork.
This morning, my wife noticed a Google Adsense advert when she went to log into her online banking account this morning. It was for the Reincarnation Bank.
What? Yes, the Reincarnation Bank.
Worried about how well off you will be in the next life? Just deposit money on a regular basis into an account you establish in the Reincarnation Bank – in Gibraltar [chuckle] – and it will be waiting for you when you return with your authorized spirit in a new persona – after reincarnation.
“As in this life, in the next you will have memories of previous lives. One of these recollections will be of your arrangement with Reincarnation Bank. Whatever version of the internet or data retrieval mechanisms in use at the time of your return, you will renew your contact with Reincarnation Bank and through regression you will recall the details/instructions that you left at the time of making your deposit. A custodian of Reincarnation Bank will open your letter privately in your presence and will ask you to repeat the details contained therein (whilst in regression). Once this has been satisfactorily achieved, funds/property will be handed back to you and the account closed.”
Got that?
Thanks, Helen
If I’m reincarnated as a horse, how will I say the secret word?
Oh good deal. I was worried about this.
I hadn’t realized Gibraltar was now part of Nigeria.
The crock of Gibraltar.
Religious people will buy into this.
This morning, my wife noticed a Google Adsense advert when she went to log into her online banking account this morning.
Which bank’s using Adsense on their site?
Someone’s just taking advantage of a great business opportunity:
Cash in on credulity
Is it fair to think this is just another example of how “religion is pushed in our faces all the time?”
I think so.
Absent religion, these types of ads would not be run because they would not generate any response. When run, they would be prosecuted for obvious fraud.
But we live in a cess pool where religion is encouraged even by those who don’t believe.
Keep em stupid.
#6 – She uses iGoogle as a home page. Coming and going from the bank’s logon page, Google picked up the traffic source and put up the sillyass adsense.
No – there’s no adsense at the bank’s website. I should have made that clear.
#9 – Eideard
I see… lol
Those lousy goddamn liberals in power now will probably attempt to impose their anti-religious and market-meddling agenda to stifle this innovative, enterprising idea with burdensome regulation. I hope they FAIL!!!
Fortunately, my own retirement in the afterlife is quite secure. I got a sweet deal in a prime subdivision in a pearly-gated community called “Heaven.” Not only are the streets paved with gold as you would expect, but there are tangerine trees and marmalade skies. It seemed too good to be true, but the televangelist who sold it assured me that it is. Apparently, it’s in a great location with a spectacular view of Uranus.
There is a sucker born every minute!
Why would they give you your money back after you return?
The bank could argue that you should leave your money in their bank in the “unlikely” event you die tomorrow and are reincarnated again.
Use me for your deposits, I will pay higher interest rates.
Scientology is big on reincarnation. Them and their billion year contracts. Wonder when LRH will return?
[Comment deleted – Violation of Posting Guidelines. – ed.]
I trust this, but then again I believed the credit ratings on subprime loan bundles.
Geez, and I used to believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa and that Obomba would keep any of his promises made before the election.
Tax and spend asshole. Better off putting your money in some bullshit bank like this one.
#18 – Mr Diesel
Bush Jr. just a spend asshole.
Think about it. More like a spent asshole. Har!
And which common organized religion would support that idea? Oh, none.
If you are born into a rich white family with health and wealth all your days, then you too only getting what you deserve..
Christians do not believe in the nonsense of reincarnation, almost ridicules as believing we evolved from rocks!! LOL
#21 – don’t know much about the religions of the world, eh?
Christians do not believe in reincarnation.
I was just thinking how I could game the system and get free money that I supposedly had deposited in a past life. If someone could answer Sarah Palin’s secret Yahoo questions, they could answer the questions required to get into a reincarnated bank account.
9, I’m surprised Google would take this bank’s money for use in their Adsense. That devalues Google’s advertising for legitimate businesses who do not wish to be associated with the illegitimate ones.
Looks like that guy spent his middle life as a 70’s porn star.
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN THE LAST TIME WAS I LAUGHED THIS HARD! THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST UNIQUE JOKE I HAVE SEEN YET!!!!! GOD HELP THE POOR SOUL WHO ACTUALLY TAKES IT SERIOUSLY!!! WHERE DO THESE MINDS COME FROM?!?
Soul Retrieval is simple and gentle and as with all of her work, soul retrieval can be done with Dawn Paul remotely over the telephone for those not based in the UK. Dawn has had success healing clients in California and New York using these healing techniques.
Soul Retrieval is very easy for the client. They lie relaxed and comfortable and I journey to the Lower World, using the sound of my rattle to help change my level of consciousness so I can journey and search for the missing soul part. Very often I am given a gift to bring back to the client along with a power animal, an ally, which assists and supports the client on their own journey through life.