1. downlowfunk says:

    Santas just a friend.

  2. Hugh Ripper says:

    You’ll have to pry these from my cold dead hands, Sonny.

  3. noname says:

    Mrs Dvorak what is your son working on these days?

  4. .
    “I don’t care if Soylent Green IS people! They’re giving me a Helluva send-off! Now when is Fabio coming to smother me with his butt?”
    .

  5. deowll says:

    I had to give up sex and this is what I have left to live for.

  6. pjcamp says:

    “This bong water tastes like Chivas!”

  7. Mackman says:

    Jeffery, you don’t get these back until you clean your room! You damn bum!

  8. Billy Joe-Bob says:

    MINE!

  9. PG.Kelly says:

    I

  10. badcowboy says:

    In this photo we see the newly pregnant Barbara Bush with her son George W.

  11. faustus says:

    it’s my old boss andy grove. and yes only the paranoid do survive…..

  12. wirelessg says:

    The last surviving zombie dancer from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video toasts the late performer’s memory. “We all made a pact that the last zombie dancer alive would toast the memory of us all, by name, with a separate drink, from this special cup, jesus, this is going to kill me”.

    Meanwhile, sales of the “Big A** Racoon” sweater rose to #3 on Amazon.com

  13. chasb says:

    “And if you give me…
    Weed, whites and wine.
    And you show me a sign,
    Then I’ll be willin’…”

    R.I.P. Lowell 😉

  14. Jess Hurchist says:

    “I guess that over the years I’ve spent a lot of money on dope and bourbon, the rest was just squandered”.

    Apologies to George Best for the misquote

  15. PseudoAlphie says:

    “If I can blow across the top of this here pipe thingy, it’ll be wine, wimin, and song. Here Alphie, blow me”

    *

    “If I could just get Alphie One to tickle the inside of my belly button I’ll be in heaven. Too bad size matters.”

    *

    “Hey, Republican style Medicare not only sounds great, I got a tax cut too.”

    *

    “No Alphie, just because I got this doesn’t mean you can wear my underwear. You know your effen fat ass will rip it to shreds!”

  16. Uncle Patso says:

    Now that’s one happy Granny!

    # 31 threeCents FTW!

  17. Uncle Dave says:

    It’s Christmas morning and Mrs. Claus knows just what Santa needs after working late, hopped up on a billion cookies and untold gallons of eggnog — a bong, a belt of booze and after a year of being too busy, a place to plant the North Pole. Yeah, baby!

  18. Winston says:

    “Thank you! I don’t miss Grandpa any more.”

  19. schneidercom says:

    Did you notice my Racoon?

  20. fulksvslife says:

    Tara Reid really REALLY needs to slow down.

  21. righteous indignation says:

    Grandma is prepared for a long trip.
    Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free.

  22. somecalmetim says:

    Ya, I got all the vaccines I need right Hea!

  23. grannyloveington says:

    yep..90 proof, and me magic lamp..goin places

  24. hitdatbong says:

    A sensible alternative to golf… but way more fun…


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