THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists.

The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead.

When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled technician.

The implant may or may not be painless.

Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary.

Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards,

Thanks, Hop




  1. Santa Maria says:

    Way to go!!! Greetings from America

  2. RTaylor says:

    I doubt it would implant, but pass clear through. That distinction would hardly matter given the intent.

  3. Patrick says:

  4. acumen_123 says:

    I know Marines are all deadly accurate shots but I still recommend two to the head – just to make sure they’re dead.

    Bloodthirsty today, aren’t we?

  5. heynow says:

    We were always taught to install those at “center-mass”

  6. Marc says:

    Terrorism was caused 1000%-fold because of you stupid Military Industrial Complex supporters.

    http://militaryindustrialcomplex.com

  7. amodedoma says:

    Grunt humour. It’s a shame there’s a need for it.

  8. Patrick says:

    # 6 Marc said, “Terrorism was caused 1000%-fold because of you stupid Military Industrial Complex supporters.”

    I guess you never learned about Yusuf Karamanli, of Tripoli. ROFL!

    What a moran.

  9. heynow says:

    We are all supporters of war industry whether we like it or not.

    My previous remark was meant to question the technique described above. It was not a cheer for two superfluous wars.

  10. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:

    These microchips are equally effective for allowing Somali pirates to maintain communications with their home base on the mainland. That design flexibility is a real plus.

  11. faxon says:

    How did this slip through the conservative filter on this site?

  12. johanneswilm says:

    The comments are generally beyond stupidity. You think it’s a great idea to kill a whole bunch of people you have lumped together in the category of “terrorists”.

    Hey, I hope you realize that in most cases it’s your very own US soldiers/military that are seen as the terrorists. If the rest of the world was as blood thirsty as you guys (luckily you are not representing the majority of US citizens either though) your country would just be raped and pillaged once your economy is so destroyed that you cannot pay for your national defense.

  13. SeanInSeattle says:

    Dvorak, some days I am ashamed of you.

  14. Patrick says:

    # 13 johanneswilm said, “The comments are generally beyond stupidity. You think it’s a great idea to kill a whole bunch of people you have lumped together in the category of “terrorists”.”

    Don’t worry, your country will be an Islamic republic within 20 years…

  15. JimR says:

    Re: #14, “Dvorak, some days I am ashamed of you.”

    Why? It’s a timely subject that has already started some interesting discussion? Dvorak didn’t make the comment… the US Marines did. (I’m assuming that of course as the source isn’t linked.)

  16. MikeN says:

    I wonder if those other countries that Obama has bribed into taking Guantanamo terrorists, their leaders have come under fire for doing it. What if they just shoot the prisoners as soon as they take them?

  17. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    Do these s-called experts have an implant like this available as well?

  18. JimR says:

    Re: #13, johanneswilm, “The comments are generally beyond stupidity. You think it’s a great idea to kill a whole bunch of people you have lumped together in the category of “terrorists”.”

    Can you give examples of the “whole bunch of people” that you say are lumped together as “terrorists”?

  19. RTaylor says:

    When you train a warrior, you train him to kill and destroy. That’s the job. It’s a different culture. A pacifist would not understand. You have to get hard for that job, and inside humor can seem cold. Your attitude changes fast when you learn the hard way the other son of a bitch is trying to kill you.

  20. jccalhoun says:

    [Comment deleted – Violation of Posting Guidelines. – ed.]

  21. Nimby says:

    # 13 johanneswilm said, “I hope you realize that in most cases it’s your very own US soldiers/military that are seen as the terrorists. ”

    Just curious, what experience do you base that on? Personally, I lived in Afghanistan for seven years, Egypt for a couple of years, Iraq for a few months, Angola, Mozambique, Kosovo and a dozen or more other countries. Except for a few extremeists, no one ever referred to Americans as terrorists. On Kosovo, children would lay flowers and freshly baked bread on our doorsteps very early in the morning. In Afghanistan, right afterthe Taliban were chased out of Kabul, a parade of people came by our office all day for three or four days, laying flowers at our doorstep and blessing us. As time passed some were unhappy with the way the Americans did things but they never called us terrorists. So, Jo, the answer is No. I don’t know that in “most cases” the rest of the world see us as terrorists. Now, I’m gonna take a guess. I’m betting that in most cases, the rest of your family thinks you’re an asshole.

    “If the rest of the world was as blood thirsty as you guys …”

    Whew! Where ya from Johann? From your namesake Johannesburg, where they install flame throwers instead of car alarms? Saudi Arabia where a 12 year old girl can be stoned to death for the crime of having been raped? Columbia where boys who don’t have hair on their balls kill whole villages? DOn’t give me that crap about the US being sooo bloodthirsty while the rest of the world is all unicorns and rainbows.

    [Good rant, Nimby. – ed.]

  22. Cursor_ says:

    #23

    I suppose then I need not remind you that the people of the Sudetenland, Austria and France waved, cried, shouted, threw flowers and flew flags when the Reich came in.

    But then you probably already are aware most people are sheep and will gladly roll over rather than be shot and abused for resisting.

    I mean resistance IS futile isn’t it now?

    Cursor_

  23. Ah_Yea says:

    Cursor, try not to be an asshole.

    Just as a reminder, follow these links.

    http://tinyurl.com/nb5u2b
    http://tinyurl.com/m752fv

    Plenty more where that came from.

    I have pure contempt for all asswipes who think mass murder is ok as long as it doesn’t hurt them personally.

  24. Jeanne says:

    Also related – Combat Hand Signals:

    http://imagepoop.com/image/702/Combat-Hand-Signals.html

    [Please drop the WWW from URLs as WordPress doesn’t display it properly… plus it’s unnecessary. – ed.]

  25. Mr. Fusion says:

    #24, Cursor,

    What the eff??? Here Nimby made some very personal, relevant comments and you try to compare what he said to events of 70 years ago?

    What is your point? Have you been sharing Alphie’s Kool-Aid? If I missed it, please set me straight.

  26. Ah_Yea says:

    #26 Jeanne

    Oh, that was funny!

    (On second thought, that IS supposed to be a joke, right??)

  27. Nimby says:

    Cursor. The events you mentioned were staged and compulsory, I suspect. The look of amazement on an old Kurd woman’s face when she’s given a 50 kilo bag of corn to feed her starving family is not staged. And the look of relief when an American GI picks it up for her and carries it to her cart is not compulsory. Nor are her tears.

    A village of people scrambling through a frosty, barren field in Kosovo retrieving food and blankets and coats air dropped by the US military, laughing and clompng around in boots six sizes too large and coats that seem like sleeping bags on their small frames is not a staged event. Did you know, the military started out dropping their own rations, MREs. When they realized they were not always culturally acceptable, they invented HDRs – Humanitarian Daily Rations that supplied 3,000 calories of universally acceptable food.

    I do not approve of some of the things my country has done. But the USA has done more to bring peace to troubled nations, food to starving people, relief in times of disaster than any other nation in the history of the world. Despite some bad years recently, I’m still proud to be an American.

  28. Jägermeister says:

    #25 – Ah_Yea
    #27 – Mr. Fusion

    Guys… you misunderstand Cursor_’s comment. I believe he meant that people who have been oppressed or has ties with the aggressor, tend to greet an incoming force as liberators. You saw the same thing when the Japanese had their initial victories in southeast Asia just before WW2. The locals greeted them with open arms, because they were liberated from the European colonial powers. But the honeymoon didn’t last long…

    As for his second comment about people being sheep… it’s true… want proof? Why didn’t people revolt against Bush when he gave NSA free hands to spy on Americans?


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