ShamWow Guy and the hooker: There’s a mess to mop up — This stuff just writes itself! At least she didn’t get far enough along to bite off something else!!
Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub, according to the cop report. He told cops he paid Harris about $1,000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.”
Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.”
So Shlomi punched her several times until she released his tongue. Harris wound up with facial fractures and lacerations.
After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse.
“Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported
HAR!
I don’t get it, what happened to the $70???
Well, at least he can use the Shamwow to cleanup the blood! Should work like a charm…
Now if someone can set-up Billy Mays the world would be a better place.
@wbskeet37
Billy’s moving up, he’s got a (non-infomercial) television show on Discovery. *shakes head*
Link Here
I’ll bet the cops turned in that $300 they recovered from her purse too.
GregA said, “I don’t get it, what happened to the $70???”
The prostitute had already paid him back $70 for a slap-chop, a graty, and a lifetime supply of ShamWow! Now that’s a pitch man that is a tireless worker!
(heh)
Nothing like a slap chop tongue job, is there?
Wonder why he’s not wearing his headset?
Maybe she thought she was rendering a different kind of “service.” A public service where she was making him incapable of doing future commercials?
“I can’t do this all day!”
I know, we shouldn’t find humor in other’s misfortune, but I am finding it difficult to take the high road on this one.
I wouldn’t know this from any personal experience, but hookers aren’t into kissing much, are they? Maybe that was the problem.
#2: Maybe they spent the $70 on the alcohol.
Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported.
I hate police jargon. Why not just say, “They both smelled like alcohol”?
Did you get that camera guy?!?!
Laugh all you want but those things actually work.
You would think that a guy that could talk millions of people to buy useless gadgets, would be able to talk a woman into giving him sex for free.
#13,
Oh I agree, the best sex is had with whores.
Hey Vince your 15 minutes are up!
#14 You have a point.
Maybe he’s like Charlie Sheen who doesn’t pay them for sex, he pays them to go home afterward.
#10 – Yup. Most of the people I know into that stuff say the same thing… apparently they consider kissing “too intimate”
Vince > Billy Mays
And Billy’s been talking crap about him recently, too. Wonder if this is all to build up hype for Billy’s TV show… considering they’re both in the hype business.
# 15 GregA
LOL. seriously though. Shamwow really does work. We picked a box up at Walgreens and thought what the hell it’s worth a shot.
One of the blue ones sucked up a huge glass of Pepsi.
#11, I believe they have to say “alcoholic beverage” because alcohol doesn’t have an actual smell or something like that.
So, did she love his nuts?
I’m willing to take out a hit contract on Billy Mays if someone will stab him with a Hercules Hook, hang a weight off it with the Mighty Putty, and have him drowing in a vat of OxyClean.
#20, “J”,
I’m confused here, are you suggesting sex with a shamwow?
There’s a new product out now – SnuggieWow. It’s a Snuggie made out of Shamwows.
You sit there all cozy and when you spill stuff in your lap, it just slurps it up.
You don’t even have to get up to pee. Just let loose in your SnuggieWow, and don’t worry about a thing.
Saw this “commercial” on the latest Real Time with Bill Maher. DO NOT MISS IT – but you better be wearing your SnuggieWow while you watch.
He’s lucky it was just his tongue. BTW, he discovered that Shamwows make great tongue bandages. Highly absorbent and induce clotting. And they’re made in Germany!
“Now if someone can set-up Billy Mays the world would be a better place.”
Har! Agree 100% I mute the TV every time he starts shouting excitedly about nothing exciting.
What if… it was Billy Mays who put this sadistic female up to this to silence the competition?
#5 – Jamie (SMS) – Billy’s moving up, he’s got a (non-infomercial) television show on Discovery.
He would be more suitable for hosting a real version of Tool Time…
I don’t get it, what happened to the $70???
Shipping and handling…
$1000 for straight sex? Elliot Spitzer was out of town?
I don’t think the guy ever shuts up….so can’t really blame her.
I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to come up with the punchline:
Q: why’d he beat up that hooker?
APPARENTLY SHE DIDN’T HOLD 12 TIMES HER WEIGHT IN LIQUID!! HAR HAR HAR!