Test Tube Baby

One of the oldest banks of its kind in the United States, Xytex International, on Tuesday rolled out a stimulus package for customers who are hurting in these tough economic times.  Xytex is a sperm bank, and it’s offering up to 200 dollars off a vial of sperm to clients wishing to start or add to their family, but need a little help.

“We’re all feeling the effects of the economy and, especially for families seeking reproductive options, every dollar counts,” Xytex spokeswoman Danielle Moores told AFP.

So, Xytex is offering deals on vials from “select” donors, who come a bit cheaper than the usual “standard” donor.

“Select donors are a new level of donor which we introduced to try to help our clients who are interested in third-party reproduction but, with the tough economy, are having a little bit of trouble purchasing a regular donor,” Moores told AFP.

Select donors, explained Moores, are men from whom Xytex has “many, many vials because they’re very successful donors or able to stop in several times a week or — for whatever reason, we have a huge inventory,” and it is being made available in a sort of clearance sale.

Safe to say the “select donors” are not your average Nobel Laurete or Mensa member.  Hopefully, a full psychological profile is included with each vial.




  1. sargasso says:

    Several times a week? Someone needs a blog.

  2. RTaylor says:

    Abby someone, Abby Normal

  3. bobbo says:

    “Cheap Semen.” What a nice way to start the kiddie off. Probably be the kids nickname in school too – along with all the others? 1-2-3—–

  4. AdmFubar says:

    ya know the old fashioned way to conceive is a lot cheaper……

  5. Dallas says:

    Wow. That towel near my bed may be worth a quarter million dollars.

  6. bill says:

    #4 and a lot more fun!
    People pay for that? WOW!
    Really?

  7. BigBoyBC says:

    For God sake, don’t tell the octomom!!

  8. McCullough says:

    #2. Of course, the first thing I thought of. Abbie Normal!

  9. greggyx says:

    This story is hard to swallow.

  10. joaoPT says:

    Weeell.. yeah…
    They’re just clearing the stock and then they’ll outsource the business to china.

  11. KD Martin says:

    Just a thought… Is it wrong to offer Windex to a test tube baby?

    Welcome to the wacky world of DU commenters, Joe C.


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