I guess if you follow the Vatican’s no-contraception policy, you REALLY need the washing machine to keep up with the mountain of clothes the mountain of children you’ll have and to give you more free time to create more babies.
To mark International Women’s Day, L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican’s official newspaper, has graciously commented on women’s lib for us. Its editorial decrees that the washing machine has contributed more to the emancipation of western women than the pill, or the legalisation of abortion, or being able to work outside the home. But it would, wouldn’t it? Abortion and pills aren’t allowed over there. Washing machines are.
What a bizarre world L’Osservatore describes, with its “image of the superwoman, smiling, made-up and radiant among the appliances of her house”. It’s more than half a century ago, back in 1953, that the automatic washing machine took off and women apparently went mad in the suburbs, turning to drink and sex. Only I didn’t notice my mother and her chums being radiant and smiling. They may have got rid of their heavy mangles and twin-tubs, but it was still a fairly bleak life, stuck at home fiddling with these new machines. And it’s still a bore today; we’re still trying our best to perk up doing the housework (not so long ago, the Daily Mail discovered a new social phenomenon: “Countless British women … doing housework in the nude …”)
“Put in the powder, close the lid and relax,” reads L’Osservatore’s headline – but it isn’t that simple, Vatican, honestly it isn’t. Have you ever tried it? I thought everyone knew that the more time these new appliances saved us, the more tasks we found to fill that time.
I viewed it as more liberating because the washing machine would be considered a giant vibrator during self pleasure
(I’m really trying to ride the line between crass and clean humor here. [rimshot])
And the Catholic church wonders why no one takes them seriously. I’ve always been pretty embarrassed to say I was raised Catholic(now an Atheist), but this just furthers my shame about my “lost years”.
I gave up Catholicism for Lent decades ago.
The washing machine is a marvel of environmental friendliness. Does anyone ever think about how disposable clothing didn’t take off because of the ability to repeatedly wash cloth?
Honestly though, I think most of the Roman Catholic Church needs to get laid. With someone closer to their own age.
The washing machine is a fantastic device. Bought a couple of front loaders on pedestals. Don’t even have to bend over to load it up…
As for the BCP… what happened to good ole porno finishing: all over the place and wide of the mark. It seems that there are too many men out there who can’t time their finishing.
@Mikey Twit
ditto
The catholic church always falls short. What about ironing? Maybe the real liberation theology is “iron free fabric?”
Uncle Dave–you really need to clearly lable these sarcasm pieces from the Onion for the atheistic attacks on the church that they are.
No person of minimum intelligence would ever believe such a pronouncement came from a legitimate source.
Shame on you.
This ties in with the previous post “Religion in sharp decline in US”. Any wonder?
8,
What in tarnation are you blabbering about?
12,
This is an article on washing machines and the birth control pill, not MKUltra.
#12, Alphie,
And what the eff does any of that blabbering have to do with the comment at hand? I realize schizophrenia is a serious disease. But damn, please take your meds and focus.
@Mr. Fusion
Alfred1 has ODS (Obama Derangement Syndrome). There is no cure except for the impeachment or the assassination of the president. It seems to be spreading among Rupuglicans and “conservatives”. It is related to Bush Derangement Syndrome. Luckily, now that Bush is out of office, cases of BDS are starting to wane.
Is this an attempt to troll? Or do you really think that having the pill and not the washing machine would make things so much better?
I’m fascinated.
Countries without religion have low birth rates.
Religious countries have high birth rates.
Evolution will take care of you atheists and wiseguys yet.
Seriously, working women has been a mixed bag at best for women and families. I see lots of two parent working families as a baseball coach and they don’t seem any better off than we were when I was a child except they have a lot less free time and time for the kids.
The Catholic church is not totally off base on this.
Is it just me or does the women in that pic look like she is trying to liberate a wedgy?
Apparently, men don’t know how to use a washing machine. Once again I’ve been insulted by the Most Holy Roman and Apostolic Church.
Fusion said: “And what the eff does any of that blabbering have to do…”
Well obviously he writes for the L’Osservatore Romano.
# 17 daveg said, “Countries without religion have low birth rates. Religious countries have high birth rates.”
Really? I guess you have never heard of Japan.
Paddy–foreign religions don’t count. I thought Italy was the best example? Less than replacement rate.
Their stock market used to be a high flyer too for some reason.
#21, Interesting. Spain has a very low birth rate also.
#22,Cow-Paddy, Ignorant Shit Talking Sociopath, Retired Mall Rent-A-Cop, Pretend Constitutional Scholar, Fake California Labor Law Expert, Pseudo Military Historian, Phony Climate Scientist, Leading Troll Extraordinare, Asstrologist, Unintelligent Designer, Cyber Eggspert, Goofy Geographer, and President of the “I Hate America Club”
It’s a little late, but we were kind of hoping your mother would have too.
We know, we know, your sister is an only child.
#18 wins! Wedgie for sure.
Will OCTOMOM become a saint?
Hey, having babies is good for the economy. Provided you have an economy to begin with of course. Maintaining a high economy is a bitch though. When you start having women participate in managing the economy, you have fewer people having fewer babies, and the economy lags. Yes you need their superior skills but is it worth taking out so many baby machines? The calculus needs to be studied and refined. Wash machines won’t replace the calculus.
Anybody actually read down threads this far?
You see, the real reason the atheist piggies don’t like un-protected sex is not because of the resulting abortions, or unwanted children or the unimaginable sufferings of unprepared parents… they just don’t like being out-voted.
RBG
#26 And to compound this problem, O’Mama the deciderer has ruled out cloning for non-scientific reasons…
Children are a punishment.
29,
why don’t you help your parents and the rest of us out by offing yourself?
#6:
Totally agree.
Women used to be the ‘appliances’ before we got these machines. No washing machines and birth control pills means the woman still stays at home.
Yeah OK but, in my house I run the washing machine, I have to, my wife is an early death to any machine. Does that mean she has to give me more sex? If that’s the case I’m ready for catholicism!
#22
That’s right, so much so, I got big fat goverment checks (1200€) every january for the first three years of my last two kid’s lives. That’s why I don’t mind paying so much in taxes, you get so much back.
I’d certainly rather leave my health and hormones unaltered and take the washer. Only one baby of my making…and she was made on purpose.
But I hate laundry even with the wash-machine. Can’t imagine doing it by hand. Now I just need to hire someone to run it…