Where no Klingon has gone before – 7-11 robberies | Colorado Springs Gazette, CO

It may be a galactic first – a Colorado Springs 7-Eleven robbed early Wednesday by a man wielding a Klingon Bat’leth blade. It’s the weapon of choice for the war-like race on “Star Trek,” but fairly rare in stickups on Earth.

“They had to show me what it was on the Internet,” said Colorado Springs police Lt. Steven Tobias. The robbery happened about 1:45 a.m. at the 7-Eleven at 145 N. Spruce St., off Bijou Street near Interstate 25.

A clerk told police that a man in a dark jacket and a black mask entered the store wielding the long, curved metal blade conceived for the science fiction franchise that grew out of the 1960s television series.

The robber got away with an undisclosed amount of cash. A second attempt 25 minutes later ended unsuccessfully when the man ran away empty-handed from another 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd. No one was injured.

“If this individual is arrested, the charge will be the same as if he carried a gun,” said police spokesman Lt. David Whitlock. “It’s considered a deadly weapon.”

OK, let me get this straight. A few minutes ago they didn’t know what the device was, now it’s a gun! Cripes.




  1. poplopez says:

    kaplaaaaaaa!

  2. Little Johnnie says:

    Nanoo nanoo shazbat!

    Oh wait, that’s from an equally defunct but far more entertaining TV show.

  3. denacron says:

    When captured his sentence will be served on the penal colony of Rura Penthe…

  4. kuma says:

    That’s one way to get the wrath of the Klingon empire on your arse. This honourable weapon, to be only touched by honourable warriors.

  5. deowll says:

    Since when hasn’t armed robbery been “in” with honerable warriors? I thought that was how most of them made their livings traditionally speaking?

    I don’t care what the weapon is if you use it to threaten somebody with in order to get them to give you something it’s armed robbery.

  6. Improbus says:

    Which is worse: armed robbery, copyright violations or plagiarism? He is guilty of all three. Would this be a case for fair use?

  7. MotaMan says:

    how annoying, you don’t get to see the video, you know it’s there…

    did he wield his Bat’leth with precision?

    was he graceful like a Klingon balerina?

    WTF?

  8. Paddy-O says:

    They’ll never catch him. He’s light years away by now.

  9. Glenn E. says:

    I wouldn’t think the “concealed weapon” laws would apply to a Bat’leth. How the hell can you conceal that thing?! It’s like carrying around a 1970s car bumper. “Hands up, or I’ll hit you with this piece of my camero”. By the Colorado Police’s logic, anything large and sharp could be considered a dangerous weapon. Even a huge wedge of Cheddar Cheese.

    I should think it wouldn’t be too hard to spot somebody carrying this blade on their back. And unless it was homemade or stolen. It wouldn’t be hard to track down the Bat’leth owners who bought theirs. It’s not likely that the robber got it secretly, to commit crimes with later on.

  10. Barack Uh-bama says:

    I think Timothy Geithner had one of those at his Senate confirmation hearing.

    HAR!

  11. bonky1a1 says:

    #1-11

    ROTF!!!!! I knew you guys wouldn’t let me down!

  12. Improbus says:

    Stupid Klingon brought a Bat’leth to a gun fight.

  13. bonky1a1 says:

    #14—

    I shnotted. dinner was ruined. great job.

  14. stopher says:

    Can you imagine the police line up. You’ll have this six foot klingon in the middle of a bunch of guys saying, “What?”

  15. Bill says:

    Today is a good day to give me all your money.


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