Hey, oblivious, slow-walking sidewalk blocker – you’ve been named Public Enemy No. 1. About 29 percent of 2,300 respondents to a survey by snarky Brooklyn-based Web site People Who Deserve It agreed that it would be “socially responsible” to “punch you in the face.” “Everybody hates you,” seethed the site’s Williamsburg Web masters, two ad copywriters. “You clog our sidewalks and subway platforms. You make us late and irritable. You ruin the morning before the day even starts. “You’re going to get punched in the face. And it’s nobody’s fault but your own.”
(Click photo to enlarge.) Sidewalk blockers top the list of the 10 New York types who deserve a beatdown. Self-important Bluetooth guy was the second most hated. Twenty-four percent wanted to punch him because he wears his cellphone earpiece – even on planes, in movie theaters, and in bathrooms – prompting people to surmise he’s “either crazy or really annoying.”
“If I ran things, any scan over the limit would trigger a trap door under Express Checkout Cheater,” one Web site visitor wrote. The impatient subway boarder – described as “brainless salmon people, desperately trying to swim upstream” – narrowly beat out full-volume headphone guy for fourth place in the poll. Three percent of those polled said it’s time for serious payback for those carrying their monster umbrella in a way that could take an eye out. Tandem sidewalk tourists who walk hand-in-hand during rush hour, and ungrateful homeless guys who look at the change you give them with disdain rounded out the Top 10.
Tandem sidewalk gawking tourists are at the top of my list. So what makes you Cranky?
People that live in New York tops my list. 😉
new yorkers period….
I think it’s funny that both slow walking blockers and impatient (but obviously rushing) boarders are on the same list.
Can anyone explain the “no umbrella etiquette lady”?!
People need to chill. Being annoyed to the point of wanting to hurt someone over such insignificant everyday normal behavior, need some serious psychological help.
The “no umbrella etiquette lady” walks without care, not looking if she is about to take your eye out with her umbrella. very annoying! I just harshly puch the umbrella out of the way!
#3
Your obviously not very tall, I almost got an eye poked out once. I think they’re referring to people that walk around oblivious to the fact that their umbrella is a navigational hazard.
New Yorkers are so uptight. Big apple’s packed, people end up rubbing each other the wrong way. No way would I live there.
Where’s Bloomberg and his saltbanners?
Re: the “no umbrella etiquette lady”…
Unless you are walking in a daze with your eyeball thrust forward leading the way, a person can plan an alternative route around her to avoid the protrusions. Otherwise, if the sidewalk is so crowded that you can’t squeeze get past because of oncoming pedestrians, I suggest you accept the fact that the sidewalk is a crowded place and leave earlier or find another less crowded route to where you are going. Easy, and less stressful.
#6–amodedoma==yep. I once got stabbed in the face by the umbrella she was holding in one hand, and burned on the arm by the cigarette she was holding in the other. Its ALWAYS females. Evidently males will do it once before they learn not to.
Obnoxious people I’d most like to punch in the face?
Topping my list: San Francisco Code Pink loons and the “rape” whistling Anti-Prop 8 protesters
Everybody in the Big Apple needs to get baked and chill out.
Very malus grosso (Big Apple) – centric. Look at the top of the list! Confirms the sardonic joke:
Q: Why do New York pedestrians cross the street against a red light?
A: To avoid being trampled.
In other places, the top answer would be:
“Nobody”.
Put me down for the ugly chick with the fur coat and fake British accent.
I hate those monster sized umbrellas. Are you playing golf? No. Have a 60″ waist? Maybe. Own a Hummer? Likely!
C’mon.
Hey is that Kevin James in the photo?
Laughs,
The list is summed up as self-centered ass holes that are clueless to operating in society.
I worked with some movie producers and would call them instead of emailing or talking because they would always take the call. They were the bluetooth boys. Their little gadget destroyed their priorities — my wife said it was like a perverse fondling addiction.
Wal-Mart Mothers,screaming at their precious if multi-begotten progeny.
#15
I thought that bluetooth douchebag was Tony Soprano!
#2
You know, 90% of these people are from New Jersey.. so they aren’t new yorkers technically.
So, doesn’t this list include EVERYONE in NYC?
Tandem sidewalkers closely followed by assholes who own iPods (even if they don’t have them at full volume all the time).
to all you people who reflexively knock big cities
in a small town you can smile at and make meaningless small talk about the weather with every 100 or so people you see in a given day.
in a city of millions, it’s just not physically possible, that’s why we ignore you until there’s a real reason for us to talk and something of substance to talk about.
don’t take it so personally, sheesh.
Ugh, I really hate the sidewalk blockers. They are not just on the sidewalks but in stores, malls and airports. Sometimes, one person can manage to effectively block an eight foot wide sidewalk by slowly drifting from side to side.
Even worse are the people at the airport that choose the entrance to the escelator as a nice place t stop and have a converstaion. Many times I have weighed the consequences of going to jail against the immense pleasure to be gained by placing my foot between someones shoulder blades and launching them down an escelator.
People who have conversations in the middle of the sidewalk, aisle, doorway, etc.
The great thing about New York is that it’s likely that everyone on that list will probably get punched in the face within the next 24 hours.
I can’t stand people in the supermarket that block the aisle with their cart while they are staring at a can of beans. I just bang into their cart and say sorry.
I don’t know what kind of world New Yorkers live in. But for me, who only encounters large crowds in shopping malls and grocery stores, the most obnoxious ones are those walling around with cellphones, completely oblivious to those around them. So even if they don’t walk into you, they’re taking up space not shopping but talking to someone else. Miles away. Probably aimlessly shopping too. And apparently they don’t have a life to get back to, if they can spend hours blabbering away in the store. Thank god they can’t afford Segways. One day, they’ll be talking and scootering over our toes. And pretending that they’re sorry about it. But if they really were, they come back to living in the real world with us. Instead of wandering around with their bodies in one place, and their attention off somewhere else (or with someone else).
The ones that get to me the worst are those who go through a doorway (usually going in, but sometimes going out), take 1, 2 or 3 steps then screech to a dead halt, COMPLETELY blocking the doorway for everybody else, while they figure out where they are going, or where they are, or why they are such a lame-o or SOMETHING.
Even worse are the ones who do that just after stepping off an escalator, threatening a huge pile-up behind them, with actual danger of death and/or dismemberment to the hapless people behind them.
I think a license should be mandatory to live in a large city (50 000 or more), and part of the training for the license should be something like that simulated crashing airliner experience in the previous story.
I was once at a comedy club show when a small fire somehow got started in a restroom. There were only about 40 or 50 or so people in the place, including the cast and crew, but it was taking more than two minutes for us all to file out. In fact, the fire was out before I got out (it was very small — we never even saw any flames or smoke), but I still wanted to throttle the approximately one in three dolts who got three steps out the door and stopped and turned around like they were the last ones out! If enough people do that, they usually ARE the last ones out! (This experience explains why this particular species of stupidity bothers me so.)
I’m thankful I don’t live in New York or any place nearly as crowded. The sidewalks of NYC are like your local roads at rush hour: full of people in a bad mood, in a hurry like the rented horse heading back to the barn, hating every thing and every person in their way. Except in NYC, the rush hours are pretty much from about 6:30AM to about 9 to 11PM, depending on the weather.
This is no joke.
I am legally blind so I walk slowly especially in crowds. since I don’t want to walk into people.
I have been shoved on numerous occasions and have had people say nasty things to me.
Recently I was in the subway at Times Square, walking down the stairs to a train. Someone behind me decided to shove me out of the way. I always hold the bannister so I avoided falling down the stairs.
The jerk missed his train and I confronted him about pushing me on the stairs. He yelled at me and told me it was my fault for not moving fast enough.
The list wouldn’t be complete without Ann Coulter so please amend list accordingly. Also, a punch to her (his) neck is more appropriate.