Use the Stirwand for great tasting, super-hydrating, energized water for you and your family. Great for all of your pets’ water and watering livestock and for farm and agricultural applications.
Easy to use . . . just stir for 10 to 15 seconds and drink!
Stirwands are simple constructions of granulated rock, encapsulated within fountain pen sized enclosures of medical grade polycarbonate plastic. Their primary function is to increase the hydration potential of water. Convention will debate this, as inert objects traditionally do not produce substantial results in water. In this case however, a quantum phenomenon trumps a Newtonian fundamental; Stirwands effects are varied, significant and thought provoking.
[…]
Consider an ordinary rock for example. Pick it up. Feel its weight and hardness. All indications would suggest the rock is a dense and solid object, when in actuality, it is almost entirely empty space. The few bits of matter that do exist, are self defined by their points of focus within an endless matrix of potential.These various manifestations of matter exist because their individual consciousness identify with different points within the matrix, those specifically which they consider to be real. If an individual consciousness of matter were to change its point of focus, its outward manifestation would change as well. Consciousness precedes form, and by this process, our reality is manifest via concentrations of consciousness contained within a matrix of potential. Contrary to appearances, our solid and stable world more closely resembles a holographic projection than one might think.
In parallel co-existence with the aforementioned matrix, is another completely separate matrix, which is a simultaneous realty potential. This can be referred to as the “High Matrix” because matter is remarkably transformed when its consciousness migrates to a point within the High Matrix lattice. Through this method, the minerals of the Stirwands have elevated themselves and consequently exhibit their exceptional qualities.
[…]You may notice: Water tastes better, smoother, and seems “wetter” with a slightly thicker consistency
Now who among us hasn’t wanted their water to be wetter? Finally!
WTF?!? Wow, the perfect marriage of scientific psycho babble!
This sounds like an episode from the last season of Fringe, Episode 10 “Safe”. Solid objects are mostly empty space. Can’t you feel the neutrinos passing through you now!
Damn now I have to buy a new BS Detector since mine won’t stop spinning at 1,800 RPM. This people must just came from the sub-prime lenders market.
The easiest way to make water wetter is to put soap in it.
NOT a good idea to drink soapy water, though!
#2 I was thinking more of “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension”
There is a “soft water” process where “hard” Calcium ions Ca+ are replaced in water with “softer” Sodium Na+ ions…the water tastes different and watch out sodium-sensitive people.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_water
I’m surprised they didn’t use Dihydrogen Monoxide.
They’re throwing in a bunch of scientific-sounding words to try to lend their product some credibility. One of these that jumped out at me immediately was “quantum phenomenon”. Most people have absolutely no idea what quantum physics are, but once they read the word, they attribute a lot of scientific knowledge to the product.
#8 lol, you made my day
They probably tried this LSD inducing pen too often on them selves.
Dear God, I certainly hope they don’t use Dihydrogen Monoxide. That stuff is extremely toxic! Some advanced scientists talk about their findings on it here: http://www.dhmo.org/.
As a chemist, I’m glad I only have to work with the stuff sparingly. We prefer to use safer reagents like benzene and methylene chloride.
btw. Does anyone think it should be legal to to tell your customers crap like this? I mean they make money on people who believe them.
I don’t know. Averyone has the right to be stupid.
But has anyone the right to exploit the stupidity of others?
#12: “But has anyone the right to exploit the stupidity of others?”
It’s how Bush got elected a second time.
Pretty funny website.
Oh come on.
Everyone knows magnets and mystic beads do a far better job creating nutritional bio-energy fields than stir wands do.
You can’t stop people from believing this kind of crap. Just stop by a church on Sunday to see why. Most people are sheep and some are wolves. It is an ecosystem so let nature take its course.
Yes, this is false advertising if real and should be shut down. And water softeners don’t work with a quick stir. Even if you bought the sci-babble they forget to include the consciousness-matix of the plastic used to enclose the granite! That changes EVERYTHING!
Uh… Bush wasn’t elected a second time because he wasn’t elected a first to the office. Symantics maybe, but true. And if you think this liberal should let go of that travesty of justice, just look at its results to your retirement account.
Act now and get a free Sham Wow!
#17 gmknobl
Everytime I look at my retirement account I thank the liberal cretins in Congress who thought it was a good idea for everyone in America to own a home. Wait, you mean you can’t afford one? Why we liberals here in Congress can pass some legislation forcing you to make bad loans.
Mission Accomplished
I don’t not think that this article might be or not be untrue. Isn’t it not untrue that all truth is subjective in a objective sense of the surreal so if this isn’t not untrue it may well not be unfalse.
#18, hey, everything I know about ‘puters I learned from the Video Professor.
Am I the only person who would love a John C. Dvorak approved Bullshit Detector?
It would look great on my desk, and it would sell better than No Agenda T-Shirts.
Does it come with a Q-Ray bracelet?
# 13: And I’m sure you’re not to blame.
Hummm…reminds me of Stereophile Magazine!
As stupid as this product is, shouldn’t these people be in jail?
I am unclear about something in the article. Does the rock have consciousness or is it just a dumb rock. If it does have consciousness, then does the EU intend to offer rocks protection from those out to exploit rocks. Can I start the nonprofit People for the Ethical Water Treatment of Ecumenical Rocks (PEWTER).
roflmao! -talk about “baffling’em with your bulls***
OMG: “The price of Basic Stirwand is
$79.95 and includes FREE shipping in the USA!”
-now THATS capitalism! (at it’s worst)
this is probably targeted at all those Hollywood Scientology types with excessive disposable income..
now..if you want another example, only far more
useful and yielding results you can actually see..
-how about a hillary bowl cleaner?
(to go with your hillary nutcracker)
http://theoriginalbowlbuddy.com/firstlady.html
-s
I was intrigued by the “simultaneous realty potential”- how much additional acreage do I get when I use it? Or maybe a nice condo on the coast somewhere?
#30 Look up where they say they are located, Cascade, CO in Google maps. Talk about acreage!