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The FBI is looking into a bizarre and frightening incident aboard a commercial jet heading from Houston to Omaha last Friday involving an unstable passenger. It began with a middle-aged man leaving the plane’s lavatory covered in his own feces. “Oh, it was awful. It was worse than that.”

Stacey, from Houston, who asked that we not use her last name, says the small commuter jet had just one flight attendant in the cabin, a young man who moved the other passengers forward to empty seats and kept the unkept passenger in the back row. “I heard all of this ruckus and yelling and I kind of turned around and the poor flight attendant is on his back and the guy is like punching him and I’m like, oh my gosh. It’s almost like a scene out of a movie. There were two male passengers behind me that got up and kind of got the guy off of him. The poor steward, he’s got a black eye, his eye’s swelling. I felt sorry for him.”

The injured attendant, with help from the passengers, got the unruly passenger buckled in and calmed down for landing at Eppley Airfield. The U.S. attorney says the man was not arrested, but detained at the airport by authorities until picked up by trained professionals from a care facility in Iowa.

I hope they hosed him down first, ick!




  1. bobbo says:

    Woah!!! Didn’t know F&dup was allowed to fly under his parole obligations.

  2. Mr. Fusion says:

    #1, there is nothing in the world I could offer after that.

    🙂

  3. jim h says:

    For 2009 could everyone please stop using the phrase “it was like a scene out of a movie.”

    Please.

  4. hhopper says:

    Wow Jim, when I read your comment it was like a scene out of a movie.

    [LOL! -ed]

  5. Gasbag says:

    Someone didn’t take his medication

  6. DontUnderstand says:

    “The U.S. attorney says the man was not arrested” Why? on its simplest level there is an assult on a person or does that not matter anymore. I really don’t care that he didn’t take his meds and I am sure the attendent doesn’t either. guess the attendent got crapped on during and after the flight.

  7. McCullough says:

    Considering his condition (covered in crap) would you want to make the arrest?

  8. bobbo says:

    Even better are movie scenes where the guy says: “This aint a movie.” I always look carefully for how many klieg lights I can see reflected. If he’s a vampire, there won’t be any.

  9. Raster says:

    They let you fly with your feces intact?

    I gotta try another airline!

  10. Mr. Fusion says:

    #3, Jim,

    How about “a scene out of a movie trailer”?

  11. sargasso says:

    No frequent flier miles for him!

  12. Ron Larson says:

    A long time ago there was this perv that enjoyed hiding in the sump of women’s outhouses at parks. He was caught when a woman went to use the outhouse, up in Half Moon Bay if recall, and spotted a man sitting inside the sump. So she called the cops.

    When they got him out, the article claimed he was committed for “observation”.

    Anyhow, this incident opened up so many questions in my mind. First, I felt sorry for the poor cop who had to arrest the guy. If it were me, I would give serious consideration to shooting him right there and leaving him to rot.

    And then there are questions about this perv… like did he bring lunch?

  13. Special Ed says:

    The guy had planned to use shoe polish but I guess he didn’t know shit from Shinola.

  14. noname says:

    The guy wasn’t arrested that says allot. There may be a more innocent explanation.

    The guy may be just to clumsy (for what ever reason) to be using the toilet during a turbulent flight. When the attendant try to help/stop the guy he ended up falling on him and was only struggling to get up..

    Most commercial small planes that are easily buffeted by winds and air pockets at the altitudes they fly.

    If there was an intentional attack on the attendant I think they would have arrested him.

    It may be the witness recount or the telling of the story here is blowing things out of proportions.

  15. marty0577 says:

    I got a better idea, I would have shot him for disturbing my flight.

  16. noname says:

    # 16 marty0577 with what gun, the one that got through security?

  17. Glenn E. says:

    Anyone flying on a private jet, probably is well off. And can afford the lawyers to get him- (or her-) self off of just about any charge, shy of murder. The guy probably got off on the power trip of being covered in his pooh, and offend the rest of the passengers, who could do nothing to avoid smelling him. A real sick bastard, who probably planned ahead about getting out of any legal trouble. Probably so bored with being rich, he has to pull this kind of stunt to feel anything.


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