superhero-smaller

For Mr Invisible, the first and last blow to his burgeoning career as a superhero was an unexpected punch that flattened his nose. “After months of designing my costume, getting my street moves just right, it was my first week out as a Real Life Superhero – and probably my last. This tiny, tiny girl did not like me trying to calm down her screaming boyfriend. She blindsided me, I’m still bruised. It’s dangerous out there,” said the deflated would-be crime fighter last week. Mr Invisible is cheered that at least his grey one-piece “invisibility suit” works, proven when a drunk urinated on him in an alley. But he is weary of lurking in dark, down-town Los Angeles after dark.

The 29-year-old graduate is “refocusing” on his day job as an insurance salesman. His farewell appearance will be at a New Year’s Eve party. Mr Invisible may be living up to his name but his spray-painted “supershoes” will quickly be filled by another Real Life Superhero eager to save America from itself. There are, according to the recently launched World Superhero Registry, more than 200 men and a few women who are willing to dress up as comic book heroes and patrol the urban streets in search of, if not super-villains, then pickpockets and bullies. In recent weeks, prompted by heady buzz words such as “active citizenry” during the Barack Obama campaign, the pace of enrolment has speeded up. Up to 20 new “Reals”, as they call themselves, have materialised in the past month.

The Real rules are simple. They must stand for unambiguous and unsponsored good. They must create their own Spandex and rubber costumes without infringing Marvel or DC Comics copyrights, but match them with exotic names – Green Scorpion in Arizona, Terrifica in New York, Mr Xtreme in San Diego and Mr Silent in Indianapolis.

Um, you just know this is going to end well.




  1. Mr. Fusion says:

    If brains were made of dynamite, you just know some people wouldn’t have enough to blow their nose.

  2. Rakarich says:

    Mock them if you will… but at least they are out doing SOMETHING for their community. Good for them.

  3. B. Dog says:

    Maybe BO was talking about a costume change.

  4. Thomas says:

    Did you ever wonder how Superman was able to bulk up? It’s not like he can go down to the local gym. Well, clearly we now know what years of being a desk jockey at the Daily Planet has done to his physique.

  5. monkeyboy311 says:

    I watched a documentary about these guys, its called “Confessions of a Superhero”. It was pretty good, makes you really feel sorry for these guys. On one hand I feel sorry for them, on the other hand I feel like they ask for it by sticking with a “dream” that to many people have.

    take a look at the documentary
    http://therealsuperhero.com/

    The guy who “plays” Superman has a striking resemblance to Christopher Reeve.

  6. MadtownMoxie says:

    The new issue of Rolling Stone (Brad Pitt Cover) has an interesting Article on some of these nutjobs. Very interesting to say the least. Here’s a Link:
    http://rollingstone.com/news/story/25020634/the_legend_of_master_legend

    The Guy wears Soccer Shinguards on his arms for crying out loud!!

  7. Clark kent says:

    I don’t know about you but the superman that was pictured definitely did not inspire confidence in me! And the green think looked like a salad bar I was last week.

  8. Cursor_ says:

    We don’t need superheroes.

    We just need people that THINK before they act.

    Cursor_

  9. Don says:

    Just wait until one of these upstanding citizens gets turned into The Incredible Quadraplegic or Mr Roomtemparature!

    It’s not that they are doing it out of some kind of community spirit. They are just trying to be noticed. It is so sad.

    Don

  10. UnaKRon says:

    …so maybe they should look into Kevlar armor…

    Something like this http://wallhits.com/data/media/5/army_of_two_01_1600x1200.jpg

    How any one could feel safe in spandex, i will never understand.

    If they trained in like MMA style fighting/Krav maga/jujitsu for YEARS…and learned how to use a gun and a blade…they might stand a chance…

  11. Paul says:

    What crusading superhero will take on the prostitution industry?

  12. AdmFubar says:

    #12 obviously it would be the ‘Sperminator’ a Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Entertainment fame character………..


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