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What uses can you think of for this festive, dense, million calorie nightmare that’s been around since Roman times?
Fruitcake lasts forever, and is virtually indestructible, making it the perfect craft supply. Here’s some handy ideas for putting it to use:
– Strap them on your shoes for Ice Skating
– Put one in the trunk of your car to aid with traction
– Use fruitcake next time you need to put your car up on blocks
– Hollow out to make a festive picture frame
– It comes in handy with a wobbly table or chair. Slice off as much as you need and put it under the short leg.
– Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.
And for those who love them, there’s the Society for the Protection and Preservation of Fruitcake. Plus, bake along with a terrycloth monkey as he/she/it performs the sacred ritual.
Good fruit cake won’t last forever.
Its gone in minutes.
BAD fruit cake last forever as no one wants ANHTHING bad.
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– Slice thinly for Space Shuttle heat shield
– Shape aerodynamically and throw at Bush
– Scuba weight. Break away pieces to resurface.
– Log cabin construction material
– Hollow out to store valuables
– Hollow out as laptop case
Knife rack huh…
Good way to take the edge off a good set of kitchen knives…
I don’t know about you guys, but this is the first Christmas ever that no supermarkets carried any fruitcakes whatsoever. No Claxton stands, no store-branded stuff, nothing in the in-store bakeries.
Whoops. Should have said no supermarkets in my area. Dammit.
Fruit Cake to die for:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/free-range-fruitcake-recipe/index.html
Made it several times …. my favorite part of the holiday season 🙂
#6
That is a an excellent recipe.
I would suggest that for the nuts to even distribute them and not have them sink to the bottom as much to coat the nuts in powered sugar or flour.
Its an old pastry chef trick.
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The problem, comes with MERCHANDISING…
HOME MADE, is the best, ESP..if you FORGET that CANDIED CRAP at the store..
Thanks for mentioning The Great Fruitcake Recycling Project and joining the fight against fruitcake proliferation. Together we can make a difference, one fruitcake at a time.
Yes Virginia, there IS such a thing as good fruitcake.
Aunt Tillie’s Fruitcake has been a treasured family heirloom for generations. It looks the same today as it did when it was baked circa 1913, except for the chunk that Uncle Mel cut off in 1947. We stopped him before he put it in his mouth. No one knew the Heimlich back then.