Me want Food!!!!

First they were accused of not wanting to fight. Then they were blamed for failing in their main mission to train the Afghan police.

Now Germany’s battered military reputation has received a further humiliating blow. According to official reports the 3,500 troops in northern Afghanistan drink too much and are too fat to fight.

A German parliamentary report has revealed that in 2007 German forces in Afghanistan consumed about 1.7 million pints of beer and 90,000 bottles of wine. During the first six months of this year 896,000 pints of beer were shipped to German forces in Afghanistan. British and US bases in the country enforce a strict ban on alcohol.

The physical condition of the soldiers was already in question after a German armed forces report found that 40 per cent of its soldiers aged 18-29 were overweight, compared to 35 per cent of the civilian population of the same age. The report, published in March, concluded that the Bundeswehr lived on beer and sausages while shunning fruit and vegetables. It said that an overdeveloped bureaucracy was also contributing to a “passive lifestyle” on the part of the soldiers.

So where’s the down side? I mean, we are talking about Germany here.




  1. lperdue says:

    That’s the wurst thing ever!

  2. bobbo says:

    The downside is pretty obvious: less beer and sausage for the export market thereby driving the cost of imports up.

    I want my beer and sausage!!!!!

  3. JamesM says:

    Hey! I’m German!

  4. bobbo says:

    #3–We feel your pain.

  5. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    Behold the Superior Aryan Race!

  6. Raff says:

    Well if you have to be in the Army… looks like the German army gets the best food and drink.
    Screw the MREs and morning PT… we got beer and brats.

  7. Ah_Yea says:

    Oh! If you can’t join Club Med, there’s always the German army!

    At least we don’t have to worry about German aspirations for global domination.

  8. Stephanie says:

    An army of Augustus Gloop! LOL!

  9. Cursor_ says:

    All of them modeled after this guy:

    Cursor_

  10. Angel H. Wong says:

    Well, someone has to eat the pork the muslims can’t.

  11. soundwash says:

    i bet there is a McDonald in close proximity to
    the soldiers..

    actually look at these numbers..
    in 2007, 3500 soldiers “consumed about 1.7 million pints of beer and 90,000 bottles of wine.

    so thats 485 pints per soldier per year, or about 1.7 pints per soldier per day (say 2) and 25 bottles of wine per soldier per year.. not really alot if you think about..provided they ALL drink..

    (it looks like the the 5 above might be hogging a little..they’re probably in charge of the unit’s provisions..) :p

    given the stress levels of Afghan style war..i’m sure they could use it. -regardless if they are just training police recruits..

    -however, i’d bet a buck that alot of that brew
    is fueling a healthy underground black market trade system between the Germans, British and US troops. -no doubt a few Afghans are in on the action as well..

    maybe they should increase trade with US medical unit on site.. i remember DARPA was developing some nifty 36-48hr stimulants for troops a while back. i’m sure there’s a stash of the older ones somewhere that they can sneak into there schnitzel… *shrug*

    -s

  12. Steve Canuck says:

    In a firefight, I want to be standing behind one of these tubbies.

  13. James Hill says:

    For their own sake, the law banning any German military needs to be reinstated.

  14. Rick Cain says:

    The american ban on alcohol is symbolic at best. Trust me, US troops have no problems finding alcohol, even when they were stationed in Saudi Arabia!

  15. Personality says:

    They have 2 hobbies. Porn and Sausage.

  16. Ah_Yea says:

    #10, LOL!!

  17. Gasbag says:

    Here I was thinking that me been overweight I could not joint any army. I was wrong Germany here I come!

  18. JimD says:

    Look like it’s time for POLAND TO INVADE GERMANY !!! The Krauts will trade their weapons for a Kielbasa and a beer !!!

  19. Gaolbird says:

    Its time the Wehrmacht had some retraining.

  20. Li says:

    “So where’s the down side? I mean, we are talking about Germany here.”

    *lol* The whole time I was reading the story, I was thinking the same thing. Allies or not, if the Germans have an incompetent military, then glory hallelujah.

  21. Alabama says:

    # 21

    Right. But at least they are not keen on killing civilians like us americans. Why did we invade Irak again? Hmm, looks like the decision of the Krauts not to participate in the war because of the lack of proof was the right decision, they seem to have learned from their mistakes. While we’re still committing them…

    But hell yeah, looks like their habit of attaining a passive lifestyle is coming close to ours.

    And their cops seem to be a bit more civilized than ours.

  22. fnberger says:

    i’m german, and i’m happy to read this. i just wish all soldiers of all nations would be too fat to fight. we should start sending additional food to our forces, really.

  23. James Hill says:

    #22 – Angry liberals fail to make a point. You, for example.

  24. British bulldog says:

    #23 Are you a concientous objector , the German army used to be the best in the world , now their the wurst , one good thing though if by the slightest mischance any of them (however remote) , actually find themselves closer than 500Km from the front line , and by the absolute remotest chance by a stray richochet any of these beach blobs gets hit by something , their blubber will stop any bullets or shrapnel getting to their vital organs…………fucking hell what a state to get into you should be ashamed , I thought the German army were just yella , it seems their so fat they couldn’t run to their tanks let alone fit through the hatches , or is that why the Bundeswher have broght out a bigger tank to accomodate the larger soldier.

  25. fortyfires says:

    Well Guys
    i am not too sure about all thats been said here.i think all of us have potshots at the German army without realizing that they are at least THERE.
    The photo seems to me a tad bit madeup—it is neither of the guys in afghanistan nor it is from afghanistan.Pl have a closer look at the trees behind an d the general ambience of the place.
    I am not 2 sure whether with the minimal committment as i have had experienced in Kashmir that much drinking can b possible.
    Maybe they are using liqour as a resource..

  26. German Man says:

    I’m german and I agree that we are too fat and ugly. It’s very difficult to find a beautiful woman in germany unlike usa of course.

  27. German Dude says:

    This is the most ridiculous article i have ever read…based on stereotypes and rumors (lies in fact). I’ve been myself in Afghanistan for Military and Humanitarian interventions and I can tell you that the german forces are doing a better job in terms of security and humanitarian aid than the yanks or brits. Most of the german soldiers are volunteers and recieve intensive trainings before setting foot in aghanistan…not like the american government that fishes out ghetto-boys to put them on the front lines. Statistics say that european armies such as the german, scandinavian, french are better accepted by the afghan community than the brutal yanks because their objective is to protect civilians AND NOT IMPOSE FEAR “WE ARE THE MOST POWERFUL COUNTRY IN THE WORLD…” BLA-BLA

    I think americans should shut their mouth concerning FATNESS…Hello??!! ur ranked number 1 concerning obesity rate!!

  28. lolocaust says:

    as far as i know, german soldiers give beer and sausages to french forces in trade of pussy and cigars

  29. theyareyourallies says:

    Why all the hate??? Can`t understand why after 65 years Germans are still “the enemy”?! Is it a sign of an ongoing inferiority complex?

    They are fighting just the same over there, only enjoying it a bit more. 😉

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kunduz_Province_Campaign

    So why don`t you just cut the crap and start using your brains instead of your reflex-like prejudices? They are dying out there as well for your freedom of Taliban terror!

  30. jabba says:

    I don’t think those are soldiers in active service! i never saw any german soldier as fat as those guys! and i often hav to work with them….
    seems to me the guys were on a so called “reserve training”…
    (i really hope im right 😉 )


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