A gay version of the Bible, in which God says it is better to be gay than straight, is to be published by an American film producer.
New Mexico-based Revision Studios will publish The Princess Diana Bible – so named because of Diana’s “many good works”, it says – online at princessdianabible.com in spring 2009. A preview of Genesis is already available, in which instead of creating Adam and Eve, God creates Aida and Eve.
The film studio said it would also adapt and direct the revised Bible as a two-part mini-series, The Gay Old Testament and The Gay New Testament, once it is completed.
“There are many different versions of the Bible; I don’t see why we can’t have one,” said Max Mitchell, who directed the science fiction comedy Horror in the Wind, in which an airborne formula invented by two biogeneticists reverses the world’s sexual orientation.
“I got the idea for the Princess Diana Bible from Horror In The Wind,” he added. “After the world becomes gay, religious people create The Princess Diana Bible, which says that gay is right and straight is a sin. Then they burn all the King James Bibles…”
But Mitchell said: “There are 116 versions of the Bible, why is any of them better than ours?”
Har! I look forward to the mini-series. The Bible is well suited to comedy.
#18, Matt,
“… Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools …”
Romans 1:21-22
“Those who look to the sky for an answer to their own existence are wiser than those who claim that an unseen hand is guiding their existence. Those that need credit some unknown, unseen, unproven, entity are worse still. The worst are those who demand of this superior entity that it correct defects or grant favors in some ritual subservient manner are the most foolish.”
Mr. Fusion, 12-02-2008
Oh stop it people!
A) Magic isn’t real.
B) My god can beat up your god.
C) There isn’t “a” bible. There was no SINGLE copy ever. Just hundreds/thousands of hand copied works that varied over centuries…misc text that were EVENTUALLY edited together in the Jewish bible (Torah) and then appended to for the new Testiment…and then translated among hundreds of other languages. So talking about “the” Bible is entirely stupid and a waste of time. Believe in leprechauns if you want, but SERIOUSLY sitting and debating the “book of leprechauns” and how it’s OBVIOUS which one is ‘real’ is laughable.
Neat…I can have two wives, the Bible says so!
Deuteronomy 21:10-14
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if…
Well, I guess the linguistic of this is going to be missed by most.
ITS ALL DEFINITIONAL!!!!!
And confoundingly, you can make up your own definition of what “the bible” is or you can refer to objective works.
An illustration. SUPERMAN!! Like the bible, we all know who superman is. Now lets suppose someone publishes a comic called “Superman and his Super Powers” but it is all about how to tie lures for bash fishing. Is this a Superman Comic or not?
So will Jesus be straight in the gay bible? Will there be some illustrations of speaking in tongue?
I take it back. The new one is no better than the old. Even the new makes it look like we can (and should) just trash the planet. That’s what we’re here for. I had hoped that the Gay Bible might be a bit greener too, perhaps changing “be fruitful and multiply” to “be useful and multiplex” and definitely doing away with this whole load of crap:
Any Message – peehead,
Yup. Trolling again.
#29 – And you can’t even take a joke. How sad. Another epic fail by a piece of my property, considering I own this place and all.
Worship, noted.
#42 – Angry James
You have a right to be angry, James. You’ve been owned, pwned, and dominated in this thread. That’s happening more and more frequently, have you noticed?
I’m afraid you’ve jumped the shark, son. Maybe time for a new schtick?
Scott–seems the bible is as green as you wish it to be, especially with the inclusion of: “and replenish the earth.”
Having dominion does not imply rape and pillage but rather responsibility for?
You are being much too pessimistic or should I say Misanthropic?
“The Bible” is actually a collection of folk tales (Genesis and Job for instance) and the opinions and rants (prophecies, gospels and epistles) written by a bunch of people over the ages. The “final” content of the holy book for Christians (well, Catholics and Orthodox anyway) was determined by a conclave of bishops in Byblos, hence the name “Bible.” Of course Protestants made changes at a later date.
In other words, Bibles are books of opinions,but are not the opinions of some guy in the sky.
An aside: why do we think he’s a guy?
#43 – Mister Mustard,
#42 – Angry James
You have a right to be angry, James. You’ve been owned, pwned, and dominated in this thread. That’s happening more and more frequently, have you noticed?
I’m afraid you’ve jumped the shark, son. Maybe time for a new schtick?
James Troll doesn’t have a new schtick. As I just noted on CageMatch where it deliberately insulted the moderators yet again, it’s a bad AI program and is failing the Turing Test. I’ve had better conversations with Eliza and Racter.
Your title to this column made me laugh. Very Gary Larson Far Side..ish.
What. No gay Koran?
I wonder why!
I opened it up and was surprised to read:
And so Aida begat no child at all because she and Eve were homosexuals, and thus the human race ended. The End.
While they’re at it, why not a gay version of “The Right Stuff” and “Origin of the Species”? Oh, wait. Those are sacred cows! Can’t play the revisionist game with aerospace and evolutionist history. Or for that matter, a gay version of the Big Bang theory or WW2, wouldn’t be tolerated either. Yeah, there are certain GODs these punks know better than to trifle with.
So when this meat head of a producer ends up in a hospital someday. Which gay god will his kin pray to for his life? Hypocrites, the lot of them.
#50 – Glenn E.
Holy shit, dude. You better lay off the Bud Lite while you’re posting. Such hatred. Such intolerance. Such anger.
As to your comment “So when this meat head of a producer ends up in a hospital someday. Which gay god will his kin pray to for his life?, what are you saying? That God is a pussy hound? Or that, as has been claimed by some, that He hates fags (dot org)?
Either way, yikes!
Bud Lite? Never touch that weak ass crap. If I want to get buzzed, I’d drink something a lot less gay or fruity.
The whole Gay Bible argument is lame anyway. It these fruits attempt to further legitimize their lifestyle preference, as “normal”. Just as they’ve gone after the hetero institution of marriage. It’s only because their faction flourishes in the entertainment and fashion industry, where there’s lots of money involved, that they’ve had any voice. And if economic times get tough for Hollywood and 5th Avenue, are the gays going to demand a bailout?
The point is, that most mainstream religions have been trying to be gender neutral and non-racist as possible. And along comes these idiots, wanting to make up there own gay religion, based 99% on prepublished works. At the very least, they’re a bunch of unimaginative plagiarists.
I guess they really DON’T want to be treated like everyone else, if they keep pulling bone head moves like this. Nice way to start a holy war, on their case. Well, I always suspected gays were self-destructive in nature.
#52 – Glenn E.
OK, so the homo Bible thing is a little gay. (Nice crocheted border in the pic though, don’t you agree?) But a HOLY WAR? That’s taking it a little too seriously.
In any case, have a couple hits of Mad Dog, maybe do a tray of crank, and mellow the fuck out. Jeez. You’re way too amped up, and coupling that with the anger, the intolerance, and the hatred is a recipe for disaster.
Gay Koran?
So, should the Christians do as the Muslims would do? I don’t think we should loose our heads about it, but we do know who’s head would be lost if he were to print a Gay Koran. If he’s really sincere and brave, not just full of refuse then he should follow this up with a Gay Koran.
If he doesn’t then, it’s just so much B.S. and he knows how tolerant Christians are which just the fact that he does this proves.
In Christianity each person has to be converted from the inside out, not just on the surface, not to follow five precepts or rules and not just as an act of rebellion. He’s got a long and probably sad life ahead.
Traaxx
I don’t see why “they” feel the need. They know where Christianity stands on this issue, so why would they want to have any part of it if they view it as hateful?
Zeke
#52 – Glenn E.,
It these fruits attempt to further legitimize their lifestyle preference, as “normal”. Just as they’ve gone after the hetero institution of marriage. It’s only because their faction flourishes in the entertainment and fashion industry, where there’s lots of money involved, that they’ve had any voice.
So … by monetary measures and being able to provide for themselves and their loved ones, homosexuality is a fitness advantage? Hmm … interesting argument you make. Which side of this are you on again?