…Alien Communicator
This is from a guy named Mark Albert who, oddly enough, doesn’t advertise it on his website. This is how he describes it on the CNet site from whence you may download it, among others:
Communicate telepathically with aliens from distant worlds in distant galaxies. With this software running, interested aliens who telepathically read your thoughts can respond to you by psycho-kinetically controlling the random number generation capability of your computer.
This is from the The Story dialog in the program:
This software is a simple program that allows telepathic alien beings elsewhere in the universe to communicate with us individually. Telepathic communication across intergalactic distances is possible since thoughts travel much faster than the speed of light in spatial dimensions that are scaled much smaller than the four we are familiar with (some believe thoughts instantaneously fill the entire universe). While human telepathic power is limited, aliens can both read our thoughts telepathically and respond psycho-kinetically by manipulating objects around us. This software translates alien psycho-kinetic control of the random number generation capability of a PC computer into readable letters.
IMPORTANT NOTE – regardless of what other people say, this technology was not stolen from the government by a disgruntled computer engineer who took a janitorial job in Area 51 to “liberate” whatever technology he could find.
Don’t forget to read the What Questions To Ask An Alien section. If you can guess what I’m trying to telepathically say to Mark Albert, I’ll send you a free copy of this software.
Will all of thoes who believe psychokinesisin raise my hand.
You said:
“C’mon! Take me a-waaaaaaaaaay!”
Did I win?
Oops, misread that. Thought it said to guess what you where saying to the aliens. Ok try 2:
You said:
“Are you hiring?”
It’s a Palin Interpreter™.
Hey you kids, get off my lawn!
;P
A digital ouija board
[Exactly! – ed.]
Paradoxically, no alien would wish to communicate with someone who believes this program works.
kevin123 said
Will all of thoes who believe psychokinesisin raise my hand.
Tomorrow’s paper
Local Man Disappears While on Internet
A man known as kevin123 disappeared while on the internet. Family members report that he was sitting at his computer and suddenly his hand flew upward. He seemed to be struggling against some irresistible force. It was a struggle that he lost as he went crashing through the ceiling and roof of his home. His screams were heard by many of the residents of the neighborhood.
It is suspected that the incident is somehow related to the web site he was visiting, but no one will approach the computer fearing a repeat of the incident. Police are seeking information about an “Uncle Dave” and someone named dvorakdotorgslashblog.
Take me to your leader
Can we use this to read Bush’s mind?
FinallY!! I have been searching the net for one of these for weeks!
#5- “It’s a Palin Interpreter™.”
A good one, I got the joke.
#7 – “A digital ouija board”
Yeah! That was exactly my first thought. The “Yes” & “No” probably gave it away. Only Ouija isn’t actually random. It relies on a more subtle concert of arm movements from three or more people. So unless this software worked over the internet with several users’ mouse movements, it wouldn’t approximate the board.
You had me at “…Communicate telepathically with aliens from distant worlds in distant galaxies …”
Hard to type through the tears of laughter.
Good one !!
Last day of … Thank
/T.
Does Adam have a registered copy yet?
Honestly, I had a vison in my head of something like “raspberry underwear”. Is that what you tried to project?
I dont beleive that because the alliens does not use MS .NET Framework, they use Java !
If you can guess what I’m trying to telepathically say to Mark Albert, I’ll send you a free copy of this software.
Dave, you’re trying to say to “How did those panties fit, and can I borrow a pair?”
Wait, that’s Marv Albert. Never mind.
Das machine is nicht fur der fingerpoken und mittengrabben. Is easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und popencorken mit spitzen sparken!!!
Das machine is diggen by experten only. Is nicht fur gerwerken by das dummkopfen!!!
Keepen das hands in das pockets, Relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights !!!
#19 – You’ve never made more sense.
Really.
The real question, “is James Hill just visiting this planet?”
#21 – Only for tax purposes.
Hey I tried the alien communicator, i was kinda hopin it would work. Was fun though.