“Don’t even think about it, buddy!” Vicar in casualty with spud stuck in backside
The clergyman told stunned casualty nurses he fell backwards on to his kitchen table while hanging curtains.
He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap.
The embarrassed reverend, in his 50s, had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the offending vegetable.
The spud was yesterday revealed to be among a litany of objects medics in Sheffield have removed from people’s nether regions.
Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll — and a carnation.
Like most of the other patients, the red-faced vicar insisted to staff at the city’s Northern General Hospital that his predicament was NOT the result of a sex game gone wrong.
A & E nurse Trudi Watson said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.
[…]She admitted some sex-related emergencies had made staff chuckle. But she urged anyone contemplating sticking something where the sun doesn’t shine to think again.
Ms Watson said: “My advice? Don’t do it.”
Words to live by.
Next time the “reverend” should use mashed potatoes or french fries. He could probably get away with using steak fries but he may need some help from Mr. Ketchup.
Need I say that if Pastor Nether Region could get that up there, there is no telling what else he packed his poop shoot with. If you visit this guy, don’t touch remote controls, flashlights, etc. and above all, don’t hang around for dinner.
Next revised edition of King James Bible will add an 11th commandment:
Thou shalt not stuff fruits and vegetables in your turd cutter.
It was a one in a million shot Doc.
He must have attended Anal Roberts University.
There are some seriously f*cked up apes on this planet.
The choir boys were not available… he had to play all by himself… 😛
doesn’t everyone hang curtains in the nude…..
He should preach in San Francisco.
He’s spent so much time talkin’ outta his ass, maybe he figured there was teeth down there.
I’m trying to convince my girlfriend to hang curtains in my kitchen while nude. I’ll just be observing from over by the kitchen table.
One can only wonder, if standing naked in front of a window to hang curtains doesn’t offend the vicar’s sense of modesty, what then is the purpose of the curtains?
Perhaps he is only shy when people see him eating.
#6 Jägermeister, potatoes versus choir boys… Well, potatoes may have eyes, but they never tell 😉
Anyone who believes this guy’s story is a frigging tard!
There is NO POSSIBLE WAY his account of what happened can possibly occurred without the use of advanced trigonometry, industrial lubricant and extensive acrobatic training!
Doesn’t telling lies make baby Jesus cry?
I tried falling onto a table with a potato on it. It is patently impossible to jam a potato up your ass by falling on it. If he can do that, he should be in show business.
Another way to get fiber.
Remember sheeple, whenever you stick a potato up your ass, God kills a kitten.
Graham Chapman’s (Monty Python) autobiography had some hysterical sections about being an intern. He was amazed at the number of people who stick things up their butts or stick their trouser snake into bottles, rings, and crap.
The excuse was always “I fell down while naked and accidentally jammed a small garden implement where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Indeed QB, after a few of these cases with the sheer entertainment value of their excuses, other body orifices must seem absolutely mundane in comparison.
The story is everything 😉
Gary (l’infidèle dangereux), Chapman tells the story of guy with a bottle stuck on his doniker. They had a standard procedure where they inserted a straw and pumped plaster of paris into the bottle which usually deflated the penis and pushed it out – but this time, no luck.
The physician got a suture kit, a hammer, and covered the bottle with towel. He smashed the bottle with the hammer and amazingly the guy wasn’t even scratched. I think I laughed for two hours after I read that.
QB, I’m sure it’s especially embarrassing when the stuck bottle is one of those liquor miniatures 😉
[Har! – ed.]
#20 You’re killing me. ROTFL
Nothing feels better than a tater up your ass.
#20, Gary,
Too funny,
#22, Lou,
Aahh, uummm, well, where do I start. How would you rate your childhood? …
8)
# 23
I was sent to church every week.