Relationship Politics: Body Language Of The McCain Marriage
John McCain claims not to have known of his wife’s drug addiction, even at a time when she was supporting her habit by stealing drugs from a charity organization. If that’s true–if he actually didn’t know about his wife’s addiction–he demonstrates a lack of awareness that is panoramic. How do you fail to notice that your partner is stoned for months at a time? In John McCain’s case, there’s a simple answer and a more complex one. The simple answer is that he is a fellow-addict, known for his deep affection for the gambling table, as well as ties to the gambling industry. His addiction is the adrenalin-charged game of craps, a passion that is rumored to have cost him money and rifts in his marriage (Cindy being the one with the deep pockets who always had to bail him out.) When two addicts are married, they make an unconscious contract between them: If you agree not to confront me on my addiction, I’ll agree not to confront you on yours.
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There’s a deeper answer, though, to the question of how partners gradually become oblivious to the painfully obvious. It speaks to something every conscious couple needs to know. A few years ago a car passed us with a bumper sticker that had an intriguing question written on it, “What are you pretending not to know?” It’s a question that all of us should ask of ourselves on a regular basis. It takes a heroic act of unconsciousness not to notice so profound a thing as drug addiction in one’s partner.
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A relationship thrives only when people express abundant appreciation for each other.
The McCains earned the chilly distance in their relationship by a long history of ignoring these three simple rules of relationship. We as Americans must not ignore the impact of these rules on how we interact with our politicians. We think it’s time to demand that our politicians observe the rules of healthy relationships.For example, wouldn’t it be great to hear politicians take responsibility, rather than blame their opponents, for problems? We’d love to hear John McCain say to us all, “My friends, I take responsibility for my part in the economic mess we’re in. After all, I was one of the Keating Five! I helped Charles Keating pull off one of the biggest financial scams of all time. That scam cost the U.S. taxpayers billions, a heck of a lot more than all those airplanes I crashed. I urge my fellow Republicans to re-direct all the energy they spending in blaming Democrats to taking full responsibility for fixing this mess. I pledge to stop blaming and start focusing on positive solutions.”
I’m not an addict. How could you say that. I’m hooked on VICTORY!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGcuiRkSJnk
Yep, that’s a problem. If you don’t take responsibility for your own life, you’ll never amount to anything.
It’s getting harder and harder to do that these days, though, what with the government interfering in everything.
From the Header: “It takes a heroic act of unconsciousness not to notice so profound a thing as drug addiction in one’s partner.” /// Heroic is wrong. Monumental or staggering would catch the meaning.
Bravo! Yes. Self Awareness. How do you know what you know and how do you change your mind.
#3–Liberty==you need a crash course. Nothing important about your inner life is controlled at all by the government, and that includes “taking responsibility” whatever you might privately mean by that concept.
The government certainly interferes. That interference is what your personal responsibility has to deal with.
I’d snort baby powder from between the cheeks of her behind.
The winner for lack of awareness that is panoramic goes to Barack for not knowing about Ayer’s terrorist activities…yah, right…sure he didn’t…you betcha.
Let’s dig into Michelle’s past…when you do that, I’ll put you in the credibility column…until, then…you’re just behaving like a 2-year-old.
#6–brendal==what is stupid is not keeping your mindlessly accepted and meaningless talking points separate.
Obama knows all about Ayres but served on Boards with him just like many well known repuglicans. Who cares whether or not he was once in his living room?
What a dope==you individually, and your corrupt/bankrupt party as a whole.
#7…yah, I’m really dumb, Bobbo…I built an EOY US company to $60 million in high tech. What have you done?
How’s this for a disparate talking point (if that’s what you want to call them – I’m not a politician)…?? He was more than in his living room…he endorsed one of his books.
Fool.
huffingtonpost.com! LOL
Now I know that this blog is swirling around the toilet bowl.
bobbo, you truly are an idiot. The RNC and McCain have spent over $30 million on Ayers related advertising.
You aren’t buying it and the majority of voters now don’t buy it. What’s wrong with you people? When they spend that much money they must be right. Right?
Back on to the topic. I really find the McCains dynamic weird, in the same way I found the Clintons dynamic weird. I’ve been lucky personally but I’ve been around “dysfunctional” marriages and those two couple give off the same vibe.
I compare that to the Reagans, George HW Bushs, and even the current Bushs who all seem to have a good and supportive relationships. The Obama’s also strike me in the same way.
Cindy McCain really strikes me as cold, maybe not as cold as an iceberg but pretty darn close.
#9–now brendal, don’t get your panties in a bunch. In context, all anyone can judge is how you post here. Here you post just like an idiot. Doesn’t matter if you have landed rockets on the moon in your day job.
you say: “I built an EOY US company to $60 million in high tech. What have you done?” /// I’ve learned to understand that much of leads to success in business has nothing to do with success in life. You might read this very topic to understand how that happens. McCain is running for President and doesn’t know his wife (supposedly). YOU made it in high tech yet played for the fool that you are by political spinmeisters. Hey==we can’t be expert or even competent in everything that affects our lives. But why go crow about it?
Heres my proof of your idiocracy ((sic, thats a reference to the movie))–I’ll recant if you recite what the endorsement Obama wrote in Ayres book was. Otherwise you can make an IPO about how you just follow your task masters without any real/substantive clue about the underlying issues.
QB–I “think” you are being sarcastic, but we haved blogged for a while, so- – – I can only hope.
Its funny about Ayers. Its so irrelevant that I can’t even remember the terrorist associations that McCain has. More close and more timely and more relevant. But “guilt by association” is so lame, only someone off in a laboratory writing code and that distracted by making money could be so stupid as to pay attention to it. **** Much less crow about it.******
HAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!
#5 – Special Ed – I’d snort baby powder from between the cheeks of her behind.
I’m sure you would do it from this guy as well…
#9 – brendal – I built an EOY US company to $60 million in high tech.
Link please.
Although I think there are plenty of things to challenge McCain on, I don’t think his awareness of Cindy’s drug problem is one of them. Some addicts are better than others at hiding it. I’m not an expert, but I can recall people from talk shows who didn’t know their partner had an addiction for years.
#14–Jag==you really ought to think about how you could stand to watch that video long enough to know it was relevant to your post. Uggg–but so relevant and funny.
And yes. I’d like to know about brendal’s high tech accomplishments as well–just to admire what any person can actually achieve. Gives hope to us all, or to our kiddies? I find “biography” to be a most valuable form of fiction.
#15–Mark==celebrities are even more self absorbed than politicians. And those celebs hardly stay married long enough to notice anything about their mates. The McCain issue is that it lasted for YEARS. Still, in essence, you are right–who knows? You know what is also hard and takes alot of insight and awareness?===why its running the USA, and again, who knows?
bobbo, of course I’m being sarcastic. Oi vay!
Jager, brendal has built hugely successful high-tech companies and banks according to his posts. It sounds like he lives in Vancouver or there abouts so that kind of leaves very few options.
I am a lowly but well traveled consultant in those business areas and that end of the world so I’m sure I’d know the guy. Can’t wait to find out who he is, eh?
#16 – bobbo
I bet some people would have accepted the stink if it was cocaine…
I’m just interested which dot-com brendal started and failed (burning $60M of VC money must be quite an achievement).
#17 – QB – Jager, brendal has built hugely successful high-tech companies and banks according to his posts.
Successful as in Lehman Brothers?
QB–thanks. Reassurance always helps. I’d say brendal is more likely someone who knows the EOY guy==like his personal assistant? No one that successful in one phase of life could be ((ahem–“should be”)) so abysmally ignorant otherwise? Or maybe he’s just bored and drunk waiting for his flight to Bora Bora in the executive premiere lounge?
I’ve often daydreamed that if I had excess wads of cash sitting around that I would spend it to educate myself more by attending special conferences of people who would challenge me to grow as a person. I’ve often been caught flat footed by Noam Chomsky challenging my assumptions. I don’t agree with most of his positions, but I am wow’ed by his approach to many issues. I’d love to spend some time with him==but Steven Pinker is taking his place. Pinker is on Book Tv this weekend, Sunday at 1055PM EST “The Stuff of Thought” that being language. Great Stuff.
#18–Jag==I saw that Item reported on “Talk Soup.” That show has become just about my favorite. Colbert is No 1. and talk soup is a tie with Daily Show.
Dripping sarcasm.
He doesn’t look well.
bobbo, it’s great to have stuff like BookTv to stimulate your thinking. I luckily have some great CBC shows which get me going – those shows are also available widely on iTunes.
Jager (#18) you never cease to crack me up.
Jon Stewart on Cindy McCain: “She’s so cold that Eskimos have 18 different words for her”
You’re making your decision based on this? Maybe I should base my decision on Obama based on Ayres, his mentor ‘Frank’, Black Liberation Theology, a questionable birth certificate, that guy he sucked off in the back of a limo while smoking crack or the fact that I can’t stand Oprah or Madonna and that anything they like should be suspect.
Or I could just say I don’t agree with Obama’s plan and I agree with McCain’s plan for America regardless of all the other BS.
#23–GF==you should analysis the candidates on stupid vs stupid.
McCains Plan: Create more programs while cutting taxes for the very richest folks in the world and the corporations they control. How has that worked out the past 8 years?
McCain will pay for all this by putting a freeze on all government plans except for====all the government programs.
Maybe you had better stick with stupid.
GF said: “Maybe I should base my decision on Obama based on…that guy he sucked off in the back of a limo while smoking crack…”
and then “I agree with McCain’s plan for America regardless of all the other BS.”
Um, yeah. You sold me. I really believe you.
I think this rubbish blog entry is my cue to bring my short time reading this blog to a close. I’m as much a fan of hyperbole as the next guy; however, posts of this ilk have no value whatsoever — I think everyone would be better served reading some pop-para-psychological jargon from a JC dropout on Dr. Phil. Yes, “we” must all take responsibility for our bad judgment: perhaps McCain, then Obama, then whatever craptastic leader the media can come up with next time.
I just hope this election ends soon, so everyone can start fighting about something more worthwhile.
Sayonara.
Who the fuck cares about someone’s past mistakes in college. I am sure that all of you who rail against Ayers never did anything stupid in college either. Or wait, did you go…?
At least Ayers was doing SOMETHING. I am so sick of hearing people complain about the ways things are who have never protested, signed a petition, bothered to vote or do anything but run their mouth.
Ohhh terrorist this and terrorist that, pick another argument.
What Ayers did wasn’t right but it is a far cry from the murderer sitting in the White House right now.
#27–Stephanie==you are so right. We are all sinners and therefore all exactly the same.
Lets see, what did I do in college? A few parking tickets, drove while drunk a few times. Slept in a few mornings.
Yep, just as morally culpable as planting bombs in public buildings and killing other people.
I am chastened.
#27 Stephanie “At least Ayers was doing SOMETHING.”
Yes, bombing and killing people. Would you have been so “understanding” if I had planted a bomb at your house and killed your parents?
Please answer directly, if you dare.
#14 “Jägermeister said, “link please”
Right, like someone is going to give PI out to this group.
Good one. Link please to your next appearance at the Comedy Club.
McCain has the hot chick thing all locked up. Personally if I had a beer heiress, I’d be sitting around drinking and saying screw politics. That’s what I’m doing.