“You kids get outta my yard!”

This has been one, nasty campaign.

Lena Long doesn’t pull any punches. And it’s not punches she has in mind for the thieves – college students, she thinks – who stole the McCain/Palin campaign signs from her Ashland yard last week a few hours before sun-up.

“They’re going to be in for a surprise if they don’t stop it,” Long said in a phone message Thursday morning to the Tribune. “They might find electric shock, and it might shock some sense into their heads.”

Around noon, when Long picked up her phone to answer a return call, she was closer to making good on that threat.

“I found me an electric fence, and they told me, ‘You’re going to have to have that pole in the ground 6 foot,’ ” she said. “I told them if I had to stand out in the yard and peck all night, I’ll do it.”

At 5-foot-1, Long is hardly the picture of brute force, but the 66-year-old is determined to catch – or zap – the perpetrators. Her husband, Carl, a former city alderman, apparently has his own plans: “My husband is very upset. They might have a little BB stinging them in their rear,” Lena said.




  1. Mister Ketchup says:

    I accidently pissed on an electric fence once – not fun! Cows were laughing so hard they had milk coming out of their nose.

  2. deowll says:

    I like the bb idea. No point in getting somebody a police record when a bb can still set a young man or woman back on the straight and narrow.

    I know it hurts. I know you will recover or at least I did.

  3. Stephanie says:

    So Paddy, you wrote the dumbest thing I have read all day! Just because someone is a Democrat or wants to vote for Obama means that they don’t believe in personal property!?!?! WOW! I am sure that all the young folks who toilet paper houses are Democrats then. I am sure that all those pranksters are bona fide Dem card carrying registered voters!

    I am fascinated by your level of ignorance. Not in a good way though…

  4. Stephanie says:

    And by the way, all she would have to do is put a self-portrait by her McCain sign and no one would touch it with a ten foot pole.

    She is super scary looking. I bet she passes out cookies in the shape of pit bulls for Halloween.

  5. Mr. Fusion says:

    #33, Stephanie,

    Don’t worry about Cow-Paddy. At his place they serve rice pudding every Tuesday and Thursday. Almost every week that also have it Wednesday, Monday and Friday too. They keep it on the menu over the weekend. Paddy’s friends with no teeth can gum theirs.

    Right now he is playing Bingo in the Day Room with his friends. The Administrator found Bingo keeps Paddy from crying about McCain. That upset many of the other residents.

  6. Mr. Fusion says:

    #24, moss,

    Sad but true.

    Famous film actor David Niven wrote (Bring on the Empty Horses) that he and a friend had had a few to drink one evening. When they left the establishment they relieved themselves against the side of the building. The bar owner had gotten tired of the smell of urine so he put a metal strip along the bottom of the wall hooked to a 50 volt supply.

    Memories.

  7. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    I cannot endorse thievery or vandalism.

    On the other hand, it seems this woman has issued a challenge… 🙂

  8. Paddy-O says:

    #33 Stephanie said, “Just because someone is a Democrat or wants to vote for Obama means that they don’t believe in personal property!?!?!”

    So, you don’t think other people have a right to what I produce?

    Do tell.

  9. Mr. Fusion says:

    #38, Tool,

    People no. The State, yes. You don’t like the rules, move to some island where you are the sole inhabitant.


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