Are the New Microsoft Ads About Kinky Sex? – Columns by PC Magazine
You should read the whole column because there are more observations, but here is the gist of the argument:
Churro — the obvious giveaway Scenario: Two guys meet in a shoe store. The one guys offers a churro to the other—an obvious phallic symbol, possibly a code word. The guy refuses. So the guy with the churro starts to massage the other guy’s foot, and asks about what he’s feeling. The guy who relented at first says a definite code word: “leather.” The two look furtively at each other for an uncomfortably long time. The scene is just short of a wink taking place. One mentions “showering” with clothes on. The next thing you know the twosome, now each holding rigid churros, walk off together. One asks the other to adjust his underwear as a “sign.”
link to the ad in question here.
btw, love the “muslima.com” ad for “beautiful muslims for matrimony”.
HAW!!!
Wouldn’t surprise me at all if that was the ‘hidden’ message. But that aside it is a good thing Microsoft has a quasi monopoly and extreme cash reserves because that ad was a waste and won’t sell Office or OS software. It just might sell some shoes though or phallic shaped snacks. Look for the Microsoft Shoe and Sexually suggestive food product division to be announced soon. Ballmer is a genius.
All I know is that if this is the M$ answer to the PC vs Mac ads, then they are farther out of touch then I thought.
#1 – Mister Mustard – love the “muslima.com” ad for “beautiful muslims for matrimony”.
Perhaps time for you to consider converting? 😉 😀
All I know is it’s getting a lot of coverage. Also I noticed MTV aired an edited version wherein the Mexican couple referencing the “Conquistador” was removed and Seinfeld makes the “Conquistador” reference – So I think there is a level of sensitivity here, and a hidden message (made clear in the subsequent installments no doubt) – but it’s not man on man kinky sex codes… Well at least I hope not?
I saw it, and couldn’t help saying out loud, “This is it?! This is supposed to sell Vista?!” I can’t on earth see how. Maybe it’s one of those ongoing things, like that coffee ad that ran with the couple. So it’s got to build. Which means… Now that Gates and Seinfeld have hooked up, what other semi-embarrassing situations are they going to get into. But you’re right about one thing. It does seem pretty gay.
I didn’t think the ad was remotely funny to begin with, but viewing it again with this context in mind left me laughing uncontrollably. Whether intentional or not, I’m almost looking forward to seeing what undertones will be present in the next one.
The secret message is simple: “Conquistador” will be the name of the next version of Windows…
Just like “Windows Longhorn” was Windows Vista’s project name, “Windows Seven” or “Windows 7” are only the project’s name but the commercial name will be “Windows Conquistador”.
😉
It was obviously made by the same people that made the Gay Cartoon Pecker looking Zune ad. Why would Gates agree to do such a stupid ad? He has soo much money that he cannot afford to stop pick up a $100 bill that falls out of his pocket but takes time to make a clown shoe bunch of crap like that?????!
Ya’ know, sometimes a churro is just a churro… Although, that whole foot rub thing… That’s just wrong… lol
The ads are not going to push Vista. They’re going to push the next operating system.
I’ll take a hidden message, because I missed the real one for sure.
God I know this Ad is so “Gay” but come is this not reading too much into it?
Great minds think alike John, I posted this on Saturday after having seen the commercial Friday night and having to visit the hospital for electroshock so I could move on with my life. My original post follows.
Its not a commercial its a mini documentary.
This gem will be used in university and colleges for decades to teach how not to advertise. The “Conquistador” is a metaphor representing Microsoft’s dominance in the O/S business, the crushing business tactics that wiped out all competition in the nascent 086 cpu operating system arena. Thus the blatant shoe symbolism, the shoe that walked all over everyone else. “Shoe Circus” is actually an anagram of the phrase “Vista rules and Bill Gates is Satan” as can clearly be seen by simply rearranging a few letters.
Seinfeld kneeling before Bill Gates and fondling his feet is both a metaphorical reference to Jesus having his feet washed and an unnatural sex act between two jaded wealthy businessmen. A mixed metaphor at best that leaves the viewer uncomfortable, and disoriented, and thus “softened up” for the next scene in which Seinfeld discusses his showering habits with Gates, while a pair of wet feet clad in geeky black socks and shoes is juxtaposed to the dialogue, and the visual shot held too long as if this were a satanic ritual of some sort.
Next Mr. G. flashes his “shoe circus” platinum card in a zany parody of Seinfelds American Express card commercials which paid for his first brain transplant, if we look closely at the card we can see the clown is none other than George Bush with a funny nose.
Apparently having bonded, this unlikely couple share phallic shaped pastry and head to a car to consumate this unholy alliance, with Mr. Seinfeld babbling about Mr.Gates having some chewy “software” he can eat like cake, and asking Mr.Gates to shake his backside if he does. The sight of Bill Gates shaking his can, has probably caused many americans to rethink their sexual preferences, and leaves the viewer realizing that Microsoft has too much money, no taste and an affinity for homosexual erotica and bad dialogue.
How can it be considered anything less a smashing success? This commercial was designed to be so bad, that “Vista” would look good in comparison, except they forgot to mention Vista.
#14 — my true feeling is that the ad is just crap. I only started reading all the innuendo into it from one or two comments made in the ad after someone on Twit said the ad was symbolic and a metaphor for Windows and Apple — but the model for the interpretation did not sustain itself.
So I began to extrapolate and it got worse and worse. I even left out the references to “tight” and “Big TOP points.” TOP? as in S&M top?
Then there was the weird imagery. Jerry talks about showers with clothes on and they show bare legs and shoes in a shower. Where are the pants? Why the reference to a shower in the first place? I mean you can start to get even more gross if you want to delve deeper into the language and symbology. For example do the Mexicans looking through the window represent some voyeur kink? What are THEY referring to when they comment?
I am assuming this ad was not just an ad-lib and was actually scripted by someone. Maybe the company can announce their thinking and explain it all properly.
The interpretation is what it is. If someone comes up with something more plausible I’ll be happy to drop this one. REAL HAPPY! Ugh.
Steinbeck’s (above) may suffice although I think I cover more bases. And there is no George Bush (not sure what you are seeing), just a picture of Bill when he was arrested. Perhaps a vague reference to captivity, handcuffs, dungeons.
Bong!
Pay no attention to that fake John Steinbeck. I think the whole point of this ad is to say that something cool and new is coming.
#16 – JCD
>>my true feeling is that the ad is just crap.
I’m going to have to agree with you on this one. I can’t imagine what whoever was responsible for that ad was thinking.
If it was supposed to make me buy something, or pique my interest in buying something, it was a BIG WASTE OF MONEY.
And Jerry Seinfeld? WTF?
Talk about a dud.
The two most sex-less humans on earth. You are reading WAY too much into this.
The point of the ad is this:
Microsoft’s next offering will have the look and feel of pleather. It’s based on an idea Bill Gates had while buying shoes. The user experience will be that of someone shoving a churro up your ass.
It’s about kinky geek sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I listened to TWiT today and I have to say that even with all of the theories I still don’t know what MSFT is trying to say with these ads. Bill Gates twitching his buttocks creeps me out.
Dvorak, you rule!
Ryan Block was totally wrong and never has a clue about anything.
I think I’m going to be ill…and I’m a chick.
I love churros BTW, but the fast food industry has ruined them. Putting pudding inside? YECH!
They have to be freshly fried, otherwise they taste horrible. Leaving them under hot lamps for 8 hours before serving is a crime.
I highly recommend churros and chocolate (hot chocolate), but only if they’re hot out of the deep fryer.