Can Jerry Seinfeld save Microsoft? – MarketWatch Below is an excerpt from last week’s column in Marketwatch. My premise was correct but my conclusion is wrong. I assumed that these new commercials would merely stink as opposed to seriously stink. The first one (shown above) is beyond bad and into the arena of “WTF are they thinking?”

In fact the technical term for this is a “reeker!”

As we should all know by now, Microsoft Corp. has tapped Jerry Seinfeld to anchor an advertising campaign for the company in hopes of counteracting the insulting “Mac vs. PC” ads, featuring comic John Hodgman (as PC) and actor Justin Long (Mac).

Based on Microsoft’s history in advertising, let me start with the logical premise that this advertising campaign will stink. Try to think of a memorable advertisement by this company, and you can’t do it.
So the question becomes not whether the campaign will stink, but how bad.

I have come up with three possibilities. The kindest one would be “just stinks.” After that comes “stinks to high heaven,” followed by the frightful “What are they thinking!?

Seinfeld got a reported $10 million for this fine effort.




  1. Someone says:

    What this means is that instead of using a mouse, you will sit on a special cushion and compute “by the seat of your pants”.

    The rest of you guys, get your minds out of the gutter.

  2. Bob says:

    #43 Did you write the post about this on realtechnews.com using the name of “Alf”? It’s word for word of your post here.

  3. Now that Bill Gates has ruined Jerry Seinfeld’s reputation, we’ll have to recruit another retired comedian to rescue Seinfeld. Have you ever noticed that Bill Gates destroys almost everyting he touches, from Windows to web standards to public schools?

    Someone needs to put this guy away.

    To learn more about Bill Gates, check out my Bill Gates “knol.”

  4. Michael Auerswald says:

    I really don’t think it was all that bad. I think what they are going for is some sort of story arc with following ads, so this one is more of an establishing shot for Bill and Jerry to be “in the same world”.
    As for not mentioning a product: Bill Gates is the product. Seriously, who does not know who he is? Bill Gates > Microsoft > Windows/Office. It’s synonymous.
    Now, was it funny? Well, not haha funny that’s for sure. Not mean funny either like the Apple ads (which btw. I don’t like, for their pretentious style).
    We’ll have to wait what the following ads will be like. I say there is still hope for this campaign.

  5. Franko says:

    Gates, the buffer overflow salesmam.
    Seinfeld, strech the shoe in a shower, or chop toes to fit. The salesman Vista badly needs.

    Not even extreme bad. Good enough for government work.
    Seinfeld and Gates in a weekly TV series next

    Gates, get a different life, before your buffer overflows, count icebergs, stare at your navel in India

  6. Mr. Fusion says:

    This is not a knock on Apple. The cheap imitation is a reference to Linux.

    This is a little better than watching an “Extendese” ad for enhancing that certain part of the male anatomy, or the “Girl’s Gone Wild” ads.

  7. zorkor says:

    Who cares? PC still rules the majority of the Desktops and Laptops while MAC still sucks.

  8. Sying Flaucer says:

    #13 QB
    “I expected Jar Jar Binks at some point.”

    Now that’s funny!

  9. highqham says:

    Floyd #38 They’re Aliases on the Mac. Try Command ‘L’ or ‘Make Alias’ under the ‘File’ menu – It’s not difficult.

    No one mentioned the repeated “ten” in reference to the shoe size. It is repeated four times. Since it is MacOS (TEN), could this be some sort of reference to OSX? Of course then Seinfeld says to Bill “You’re a Ten”, which seems kind of backwards. But why mention ‘ten’ four times in quick succession???

    I’ll let the psychologists figure that one out!

    HQH

  10. Aladdin 4D says:

    John have you been reading the Aladdin 4D Blog? We talked about this on 09/06/08.

    http://aladdin4d.blogspot.com/

  11. Sid says:

    God forbid, Microsoft spend 10 million on a product that actually gives people what they want. I said I would not speak ill of the dead, but if this ad is the best they can do then it may be time to by myself an overpriced Apple product.

  12. pwuk says:

    What a croc, these two planks are less animated than Thunderbirds.

  13. Uncle Patso says:

    I think the family looking in the window got caught up by seeing someone famous in the store, just as Jerry Seinfeld did at the beginning of the spot.

  14. WJones says:

    Dvorak’s article in PC Mag suggesting this commercial is about ‘kinky sex’ is unworthy of that publication. Sometimes, John, a churro (rigid or not) is just a churro. I think the only kink here is in your own mind.

  15. efjay says:

    Having recently switched to Mac, wondering if my move was premature. This ad convinced me there is no future with a company that has lost its way. The ad was drivel, pointless and a sure sign that Microsoft is floundering.

  16. garyla says:

    After all his ruthless employee flogging, business cheating and krappy
    product releases Bill has made his billions and billions. Now he just wants to be seen as one of the guys and will pay any price to get there.
    Too bad so many others had to pay first.

  17. Your shrink says:

    @ Floyd (#38)
    She doesn’t need you to fix her MacBook. She want you to feel good about yourself and give you the feeling that you’re important to her.

  18. lbjack says:

    Cute commercial. Allusions to the old “Bill G’s” underwear lore. (And Seinfeld’s wet clothes fetish???) Ok, and maybe a little with the churro and “How’s the fit?” and shoe-size bit. Though Gates does seem as perplexed as we.

    But this was an ad for…what?

  19. Atticus Finch says:

    [Deleted for violation of blog guidelines. –ed.]

  20. Trace Bannon says:

    Hey, the ad got you talking and blogging about it.

    What’s the saying about “there’s no bad PR”?

  21. David Bear says:

    I can just see the Microosft exec in the meetings. 100 people must have seen and approved these ads. They all thought it was fantastic enough to spen almost 1/3 BILLION dollars on. Can you see the boardroom now?

    Guy #1 – “Wow! That was fantastic…let’s run with it!”

    Guy #2 – “I couldn’t agree more. As an Ad agency you’ve knocked our socks off – kudos!”

    Guy #3 – “This investment will bring in 4 times what it cost. Absolutely brilliant guys!”

    I’m assuming the same great team said the same things about Vista when it was launched – so what do you expect when the same people keep doing the same things wrong expecting different results?

    As a stockholder – I’m ashamed. What a waste of money. I’m sure glad Vista cost so much so they could waste MY money on vauge, non-product related ads rather than building great products with it and just having them sell themselves. Just like Mojave – got to trick people into buying our products.

    I wonder if Bill Gates likes everyone talking about his cake-like buttocks. I’ll bet he’s wishing these ads were different already. I can’t imaging he’s proud. Eh, what does he care, right? He’s laughing all the way to the bank too.

  22. Manny says:

    I don’t think I’ll ever eat a churro again. A bit humorous and it will indeed get people talking – just not sure that acting like a looney company involved with circuses, shoes, and moist cake underwear is exactly what Microsoft wants people to be associating with their brand right now. I just want to get my work done, e-mail my friends, and play a few games. I don’t want to have to associate with middle-aged men wearing their shoes in the shower and understanding underwear code-speak to do so.

    The next commercial better be a barn-burner – I mean, this ad agency better be friggin geniuses with where this is going and soon or this is going to flop – big time. I’ll have to wait until the next commercial, but wow – not good. Not good at all.

  23. VannDetta says:

    Just as an aside, until I pointed out that Jerry Seinfeld was with Bill Gates of MicroSoft, my wife though that this was a commercial for The Shoe Circus (and she saw this commercial at least a half dozen times!). Had me hurting on the floor.

  24. Apple_and_PC_Tech says:

    I got the point of the commercial…the shoe was supposed to represent Vista.

    It’s tight = Vista pushes your hardware to the brink of exhaustion (read that: runs slowly)

    You have to wear them in the shower = Vista is different. You have to use it differently. (read that: a pain in the butt to use)

    It takes some time for it to stretch out = Vista has updates that have been released for it (read that: still slow and buggy even though SP1 has been released)

    You’re a ten = A PC user wants an OS that runs like a perfect 10 (read that: XP works perfectly fine, but Vista doesn’t)

    At the end of the commercial, where Seinfeld asks Gates about “something delicious” means Windows 7.

    This is just a bad commercial. I got the symbolism because I am a technician. Not everyone is a tech – most people know how to turn a computer on and type something into Word or send E-Mails. To the average person, using a computer is like driving a car. They are not sure exactly why it works, but it does.

    I think this commercial would leave the average computer user scratching his or her head and asking why Microsoft is selling shoes. When compared to something smart, like say the Mac vs PC ads, this commercial leaves much to be desired.

  25. djarvis8 says:

    I really like the Seinfeld ads. I think they are saturated with deep and profound meaning.


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