While on patrol Monday evening, an Indiana cop noticed a naked guy standing in the window of a Fort Wayne home. So she approached the man’s front door, which was wide open, to investigate further. It was then that Officer S. Hughes and a colleague were treated to the sight of a prone Ronald Miller, 56, engaging in a remarkably lewd act on his living room sofa.
For the dirty details, you’ll have to read the below Fort Wayne Police Department report, which notes that Miller is apparently handy with a claw hammer and some motor oil. Miller, pictured in the mug shot at right, was arrested on a felony indecency charge. A neighbor told cops that Miller was “not right” and parades around naked “24/24.”
Read the police report here. In the dude’s defense, if the neighbors are watching him “parade around naked 24/24” and not calling the police, they must be enjoying the show at least a little.
Hammer time.
So ok–I would never do it but seems to me the guy should be allowed to do whatever he wants to in his own house.
Standing naked in front of picture window should be a warning on first offense and a ticket on second offense with counseling on 3rd offense.
FREEDOM is other people doing things you don’t like.
I’m not quite sure what “parading around naked 24/24” means, but it sounds over 3 times as bad as being naked 24/7 (disregarding the parade aspect entirely). I like to see that calendar… 😉
Horses, dogs, sheep, picnic tables… yeah, why not claw hammers…
Another lost poetic soul.
There’s really not much to do in Fort Wayne IN apparently, other than watching neighbors that parade around nekkid in their picture window and do rude (and probably painful) things with motor oil and a claw hammer. Gotta get your entertainment where you can.
This guy is in jail while Rumsfeld, Cheney and Gonzales walk free and rich.
The world is unjust.
wait a minute….was he standing in the window or was he prone? Unless he’s mastered the art of bilocation he can’t be both. For goodness sakes let the man nail whatever he wants in his own home.
>> A neighbor told cops that Miller was “not right” and parades around naked “24/24.”
“24/24”? what’s that? Two days?
Isn’t 24 divided by 24 = 1? So that means he is naked 1, 1 what? 1 Hour? 1 Day? 1 Minute?
Probably spoken by the same kinds of idiots who use double-negatives (“I don’t know nothing”), and who say things “He turned his life around 360 degrees” (so you’re saying he is exactly the same?)
Fort Wayne, home of the … ugh, home of the, … aahh, … .
Never mind.
At least it was only one claw hammer, not two. One goatse is more than enough for the world…
#6 – My sentiments exactly.
I bet people came out of the woodwork to express their outrage on this loony while dismissing Cheney’s criminal behavior as “se la vie”.
Ah, yes, Claw Hammer. M.C. Hammer’s brother. Don’t forget little brother Tack or big Uncle Sledge. And the slutty sister, BallPeen and her wacky husband Mallet.
Sister-in-law, Air can blow like, … never mind. And her husband Jack, really good at busten things up. Loud too. Their kid Slide, good dancer, but only a couple of moves.
And brother Sickle. His wit cuts like a knife but for some reason just doesn’t fit in with the rest of the family.
So what was this guy’s problem again?
Oopps, I forgot their grandfather, old Rusty.
Never seperate a man from his hammer.
There’s that “prone” again. Probably off by 180 degrees, as “per” usual.
I would think a ball peen hammer is much more orifice-friendly.
So…just for clarification…it’s only a problem if you are using a CLAW hammer? In theory if I had a…ummmm…friend that was using some other kind of hammer that would be ok then?…Right? Totally theoretical question by the way.
Just to give him the benefit of the doubt… to me the report didn’t clearly state which end of the hammer he was using!