On the one side white bottoms burn in the sun. On the other side conservative swimming trunk-wearers turn up their noses at the naked beachgoers.

Now a heated argument has broken out between the exhibitionist Germans and the prudish Poles.

For the last fifty years sun-loving Germans have been preserving their naturist traditions from Ahlbeck (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern) to Swinemünde.

But following the Schengen agreement in December 2007 the fence separating the German and Polish parts of the beach was removed.

Now German nudists are battling the Poles for their freedom to prance around naked in the sun.

Authorities are hoping to stop the war by putting up signs in both languages to divide the beach into a nudist area and a clothed bathing area again.

Whether the two sides will accept a ceasefire, remains to be seen.

In a war where the troops turn up looking like this, really, we’re all winners, aren’t we?




  1. Paddy-O says:

    ” “It’s horrible. We would never bathe naked – we are Catholic.”

    Catholic’s don’t take their clothes off when they bathe? Hard to get clean that way? Can any Catholics on this board confirm or deny?

  2. QB says:

    #1 I was raised Catholic and I can assure you that I was born fully clothed. That’s what the Pope said so it has to be true.

  3. Mr. Fusion says:

    Most disagreements start out this retarded.

  4. Paddy-O says:

    #3 – I just wonder if the battles will end up on youtube?

  5. newglenn says:

    Put the fence back up.
    Stay on your side.

  6. Herman says:

    this should be on tv

  7. Ron Larson says:

    Geez Poland. Lighten up. At least this is better than what happened the last time the Germans visited in 1939. Take your pick… Tits or Tanks? Bums or Bombs?

  8. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    If only the regular guests at a nude beach were as easy on the eyes as the image for this post there would be no problems.

  9. the answer says:

    Funny, I thought the Poles would be naked, and the Germans clothed.

  10. Ah_Yea says:

    #9 Monster Lawyer beat me to it.

    Not knowing from personal experience…but I have it on good authority that the best thing the public can do to beautify most nudist beaches is to get them to put some clothes ON!

    Also:
    Someone forgot the always true saying “Good fences make good neighbors”.

  11. OvenMaster says:

    Once again, ten bucks says that the ones that like to “prance around naked” are the ones that should covered up most.

  12. Esteban says:

    This is one war where I have to back Germany.

  13. it's just an expression says:

    The Dutch seem to have no problem with bare breasts on their news site why does Dvorak “Uncensored”?

    http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/celebrity-gossip/2008/07/31/american-beauty-star-mena-suvari/bares-all-in-new-film-stuck.html

  14. Anyone who has ever been to a nude beach will verify that virtually everyone who doffs their duds surfside would be waaaaay better off with a modest bathing suit.

    You just don’t see Mena Suvari at a nude beach. Not one you’ll ever go to, anyway. Rhea Perlman, maybe. If you’re lucky. Or Verne Troyer.

    It’s enough to give you nightmares.

    In this war, I’m afraid the Poles have a good point. Do it in private if you like, but don’t come jiggling that cellulite and hairy nipples near MY beach blanket.

  15. Jaeger says:

    A lot of people were talking about it on blogs, forums etc. Apparently they’ve reached a ‘ceasefire’

    http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/world-news/2008/08/25/germany-poland-nudist-war/ceasefire-declared.html


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