EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.
“I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen,” said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. “They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn’t they heed me before it was too late?”
Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity’s hubristic folly.
“There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race,” Gore said. “I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home.”
There’s a thought. All those who think the planet is doomed, let’s build a fleet of ships for them.
Buwhahahahahah
Funny enough for a smile 😉
How very noble of Gore-Al.
*
Off subject, does Superman take off his outfit when showering?
Did Superman / Clark Kent ever have to register for the draft?
How much trouble would we be in if Superman ate too many beans while in Clark Kent mode?
Would Karl Rove show up in Congress if Superman invited him?
Shiny!!!
Off subject, does Superman take off his outfit when showering?
Superman is self-cleaning.
Did Superman / Clark Kent ever have to register for the draft?
No, he just went right in and kicked ass.
How much trouble would we be in if Superman ate too many beans while in Clark Kent mode?
How do you think Superman gets off the ground? JATO
Would Karl Rove show up in Congress if Superman invited him?
Superman wouldn’t invite him. He’d grab him by the scrotum and drag him in.
I hope I answered all the questions to your satisfaction.
More Superman questions:
Was Clark Kent (or his adopted parents) ever charged with a felony for obtaining false identification papers (birth certificate, SIN, etc)?
Since Clark is not a citizen, has he ever voted in any election?
“launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.”
Why not send his kid back to Al’s home planet?
Good point. He always seems uncomfortable when talking, like he’s wearing a human disguise or something. Plus he says things like ‘this planet’ suggesting it’s not his native planet. And his ‘father’ was a veteran member of Congress when the Roswell crash occurred, and Gore was born nine months after this crash.
Better yet, AlGore launches himself into space and cuts toxic global emissions by half.
there is a giant space goat coming to eat the planet..
lets round up all the middlemen, and send them to our new home…
#13 Hee hee hee. Don’t forget your towel!
Although I’m not sure about his son, Al leaving the planet would cause a noticeable loss of methane.
#9
Kal-EL/ Superman is actually a Natural Born Citizen of the USA. It was in the Comics once where Superman became President and the Supreme Court ruled his birth was when the Rocket ship was opened by the Kents. I think he was a Fetus when he was shot into space.
# 8 “Superman wouldn’t invite him. He’d grab him by the scrotum and drag him in.”
Grabs harryhighhopper by the scrotum and drags him to the bad taste penitentiary for posting shitty videos I wish I didn’t watch.
#16:
Jetfire, you are now my hero for knowing that.
Chuck Norris owns Gore-Al. And quite possibly Superman, too.
http://cagematch.dvorak.org/index.php/topic,4452.0.html
This will answer many questions about Superman you never thought to ask: http://tinyurl.com/2x4as
chuck wrote:
> More Superman questions:
> Was Clark Kent (or his adopted
> parents) ever charged with a
> felony for obtaining false
> identification papers (birth
> certificate, SIN, etc)?
> Since Clark is not a citizen,
> has he ever voted in any
> election?
and
Jetfire wrote:
> Kal-EL/ Superman is actually a
> Natural Born Citizen of the
> USA. It was in the Comics once
> where Superman became
> President and the Supreme
> Court ruled his birth was when
> the Rocket ship was opened by
> the Kents. I think he was a
> Fetus when he was shot into
> space.
In 1986, when DC Comics rebooted Superman, they dealt with this issue and modified elements of his history, including his arrival on Earth.
When Jor-El placed his unborn son into the spaceship, his son was still a fetus (Kryptonians were conceived and gestated in artificial wombs and that is what Jol-El placed in the spaceship). Kal-El was not actually born until his arrival on Earth, when Martha Kent touched the ship and it opened. This makes Superman a natural-born U.S. Citizen.
Shortly after the baby’s arrival, a massive snowstorm hit the area and the Kents were cut off from the outside world for several weeks (being farmers the Kents had enough supplies to survive the snowstorm). When they were able to return to town, they were able to pass off Clark as their natural-born son and that Jonathan Kent had delivered him (the Kents had unsuccessfully tried for children before).
Amusing story and about as accurate as Al’s causes of global warming.
#16, does that mean Supermn’s cover is blown?
#22, 47,
I love it when people can appreciate good satire.
Haha, Al Gore talks about conservation and stuff!
he must be stupid to give a shit! let’s make fun of him!
We have become Idiocracy. Nice post.
The big question is… does Al Gore have rhythm?
Get it?
Algorithm…
Nevermind.
Hmeyers – You don’t like my videos… I don’t like your comments. We’re even.
#25 “Haha, Al Gore talks about conservation and stuff! he must be stupid to give a shit! let’s make fun of him!”
No, he’s stupid because he put forth an unworkable plan and doesn’t understand what damage it would do to the economy of the largest industrialized nation on the planet.
That’s why people make fun of him.
#27–Paddy==I don’t follow Algore that closely since he is a politician==but do you think it is wise for the USA to stay on foreign oil or should we find alternatives ASAP, stumble as we might?
And what “specifically” is wrong with Algores plan? Should the plan/goal be thrown out wholesale as you do or tweaked, maybe hammered, to make it workable?
#28
Bobbo, the latest news is that AlGore has dropped his plan, as his time is consumed with inventing Internet 3.4.1
#28 “hould the plan/goal be thrown out wholesale as you do or tweaked, maybe hammered, to make it workable?”
His “mix” of power sources needs to be scrapped. It’s not economically feasible for base power generation w/o boosting energy costs out the roof.
Read his plan. Anyone with an engineering background can spot the problems in a heartbeat.
#30–Paddy==you are waffling and avoiding. The whole point of alternative energy development and investment is to make it competitive with whatever else is around. Whatever else is around right now is oil and coal. Oil cost going thru the roof driving the entire analysis. So should “investment” of time, money, expertise, science, imagination be put into old, dirty, carbon based coal, or should we embrace science/technology?
Anyone with a brain can spot the opportunities/benefits in a heartbeat.