Roll one for each of the guys on the clouds!

Pope Benedict XVI has acknowledged that the Vatican’s teaching against birth control was difficult – as he praised a 1968 Church document that condemned contraception.

In a speech marking the 40th anniversary of the document, Benedict reiterated the Church’s ban against artificial birth control as well as more recent teaching against using artificial procreation methods…

“No mechanical technique can substitute the act of love that two married people exchange as a sign of a greater mystery,” Benedict said in his speech.

“Forty years after its publication, that teaching not only shows itself to be unchanged in its truth, but it reveals the farsightedness with which the problem was tackled,” the pope said.

Next month, the Vatican is issuing a document supporting teachings that virgin birth and celibacy are as important, today, as CPM/Basic and Wordstar.




  1. julieb says:

    Why is there no value in letting people live there own lives and not attempting to control them? Why do people allow themselves to be so controlled?

    I bet the pope is a sick pervert behind closed doors.

  2. The Pirate says:

    Fuck the Pope, he is the RIAA of religion. Old outdated and full of himself refusing to see the light of how Gods plan really works, evolution not 2nd century religious dogma.

    One sentence rant designed to tick off my Christian catholic friends this time. Although what I say is true, bring it on Christian soldiers.

    God is math, get over it and learn some.

  3. The Pirate says:

    #1 julie.
    You disgrace yourself and your argument by proposing unfounded allegations. You’re better than that.

  4. Self Appointed Genius says:

    The Pope, in theory, is abstinent. So, in theory, he’s completely unqualified to tell anyone else what sex is like.

    This means, either…

    1. He’s like a 13-year-old-boy rambling about shit he doesn’t understand.

    or…

    2. Scandal! So it’s either nuns, little girls, little boys, or… Maybe that’s why the DC Madame had to be suicided?

  5. eyeofthetiger says:

    In the science of thought, God is a Command Mystery. Burps and giggles. Sometimes beheading and smart bombs.

  6. Micromike says:

    And he should know because he’s had nun.

    We love to take advice from people who know nothing about what they are talking about.

    Sexual advice from the Pope
    Parenting advice from spinsters
    Computer advice from Mac users
    Any advice from George Bush

    It’s a long list.

  7. rcopeh says:

    It doesn’t take a catholic to see that society has somehow managed to single out sex as the one thing you can’t get too much of in whatever flavour it wants, regardless of responsibility and consequences on the physical, emotional and social levels. People can safely criticise smokers and fatties and alcoholics as being irresponsible and addicted to something without moderation but if you sleep around with different partners…. Whoa! What a man! Get in there!!! Have it! Excercise your rights and express yourself! Yeah!

    That’s double standards.

  8. Jägermeister says:

    No mechanical technique can substitute the act of love that two married people exchange as a sign of a greater mystery,” Benedict said in his speech.

    What the heck does he know about love… especially in a marriage?

  9. amodedoma says:

    Now wait just a minute, What the heck does the pope know about sex?

  10. Mister Mustard says:

    >>sex could “transform itself into a drug”
    >>that one partner had to have even against
    >>the will of the other.

    wtf? Is that like the priest and the alter boy or something? That statement (whatever it means) is truly bizarre.

  11. The Warden says:

    He would be right if he stated, “Priest sex with little boys is like drugs.”

    The Pope needs to clean up his own house before telling others what to do in their own.

  12. Janky-o says:

    The authority of what the pope says derives from the Bible, which we claim to be the infallible word of God. As such, what he says when he teaches accurately is not of his own mind but of the mind of the creator. If the premises are correct and the teaching correspond, than what he says is correct. Surely the readers of DU(h) wouldn’t pretend to be stupid?

    Also, there is no compulsion to be Christian, those who wish to disregard the Bible are free to do so.

  13. Dallas says:

    Isn’t this one of the sixteen Christian topics swept under the rug?

  14. K B says:

    “Forty years after its publication, that teaching not only shows itself to be unchanged in its truth, but it reveals the farsightedness with which the problem was tackled,” the pope said.

    Farsightedness, of course, means that you can’t see what’s right in front of you worth a shit.

  15. bobbo says:

    That pope does sound like a fundy and he’s in charge of the whole cult?

    I wonder who edits his press releases to remove Katrina being god’s revenge for gay parades? THAT guy is the real power in the catholic church.

    (Funny last line Eideard.)

  16. Mister Mustard says:

    >>as important, today, as CPM/Basic and Wordstar

    Hey, bring back CPM and WordStar. What we’ve got now (Vista and Word 2007) are abortions. And the Pope’s against that.

  17. andy says:

    If he references CPM or Wordstar by name – that’ll be some pope.

  18. Father Pedo Feel Ya says:

    Did he mention that religion is a mental illness?

  19. Jägermeister says:

    #12 – Janky-o – …there is no compulsion to be Christian, those who wish to disregard the Bible are free to do so.

    That’s true, but religion is always in our face (such as on bills) and its leaders try to influence their dogma on our lives.

  20. Matt Garrett says:

    Those who believe have a “mental illness,” now. NICE.

    More anti-religious bigotry on the shoulders of “dvorak.org/blog.” I’m still waiting for the graphic sign that readers “Believers not welcome here.”

    And considering that there are people in 12 step programs over sex addiction, why can’t sex be considered a drug of sorts?

  21. Judge Jewdy says:

    #20 – No Matt, you are free to believe in any imaginary friend you may have. I use to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as a kid. People with imaginary friends are certainly welcome here.

  22. Mister Mustard says:

    >>NICE.

    Yeah, if you have any spiritual beliefs, you’re pretty much fucked here on dvorak dot org slash blog. Saying that you have a “mental illness” is one of the kinder, gentler epithets they throw at ya.

  23. JimR says:

    6.66 billion on Earth and counting.

    The pope is no better than any other mentally challenged dictator.

  24. JimR says:

    “And considering that there are people in 12 step programs over sex addiction, why can’t sex be considered a drug of sorts?”

    Matt, just keep telling yourself that over and over and the Pope will love you.

    But you’ll also have to suppress the ramification that if sex is an addictive drug, then God is a drug lord.

  25. Brother Angelico says:

    I have absolutely NO doubt whatsoever that God is really Satan in disguise.
    I fart in His face.
    I piss on the Pope’s head.
    I wipe my ass on all religion.
    I fuck with great joy every chance I get.

  26. Mister Ketchup says:

    I believe in God, otherwise I’d have no one to talk to while I’m getting a blow job.

  27. Uncle Ben says:

    Assuming that the pope has never tried drugs or sex, I can see how he’d link the two together. If you haven’t had either, they’d both things you haven’t had, so they both are very similar.

    Matt Garrett: Yes, I am afraid that there is a bit of hostility towards faith around here. On the whole, it is a fairly unbiased hostility, in that all faiths are ridiculed equally. The only people who are giving slight quarter are the Buddhists, even that is on occasion, usually by people who little about Buddhism and Buddhists.

    It does kinda make sense though really, if you haven’t actually had any sort of a religious experience, the whole things does seem like a big crock of shit designed by miscreant power mongers. At least people are thinking about it talking about it, which is better than that 75% of the rest of population that just don’t care either way.

  28. Catholic Cult Member says:

    It just dawned on me the Mr. Pope is saying this to try and justify all of the priests that bury a bone in little boys back yards.

  29. Mister Mustard says:

    >>I believe in God, otherwise I’d have no one
    >>to talk to while I’m getting a blow job.

    Wow. You’re one of them thar guys I’ve heard about who can perform autofellatio? Awesome!

  30. What a bunch of crap says:

    [Comment deleted – Violation of Posting Guidelines. – ed.]


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