St. Petersburg Times via TampaBay.com
TREASURE ISLAND — Debbie Shoemaker was wading in waist-deep water in the Gulf of Mexico when she felt something like “a big hard punch in my face.”
A pelican had just flown into her, its beak piercing her cheek. Shoemaker was taken to the emergency room, where a plastic surgeon gave her 26 stitches inside and outside her mouth.
[…]
Floridians know to watch for stingrays and to be wary of sharks, alligators and snakes. But pelicans are usually considered harmless.“I do not recall an incident with a pelican,” said St. Pete Beach fire Chief Fred Golliner, whose agency responded to the accident Thursday afternoon.
Unfortunately, they don’t make glasses for nearsighted pelicans. Or… maybe there’s a killer pelican on the loose? Run for your lives, tourists. Har!
UPDATE: The pelican died from the collision.
Thanks MJ.
I wonder what pelicans taste like? Do people eat them?
Not that I know of. I don’t think people eat any sea birds.
Still, nothing is going to top Fabio getting hit by a goose while on a roller coaster. What a goose was doing riding a roller coaster I’ll never know. But-a-bunk (Sorry, what’s the correct onomatopoeic expression? Ta-dunk? Kla-biddle-funk? Where’s Don Martin when you need him?)
RBG
Here ya go RBG:
Hitchcock?
In Soviet Russia tourist spear pelican
Eh, fluke accident, I say.
Once in Yosemite, a Blue Jay took a peanut from my mouth as I was about to eat. It stung like a bitch but I was lucky that he did not piece my lips or mouth. Maybe the bird species of the world are getting smarter and staging a take over? ;->
“he did not pierce my lips or mouth.”
mmm…autocorrect. infalliable as always…
“infallible”
apparently, autocorrect also has a sense of humor…
[Thomas, you’re just a grammar comedian. – ed.]
#2
“Albatross. Albatross.”
And when the woman demanded reimbursement for her medical expenses, the pelican replied “Just put it on my bill.”
I kill me.
No. Seriously. The Pelican was probably on his cell phone and wasn’t paying attention to where he was flying.
“Pelican Spears Tourist”
It has a nice ring to it. It’s not quite as evocative as “Hippo Eats Dwarf” but it’s damned close.
This is a pun free comment. 🙂
I’m surprised the woman isn’t being charged with something since the bird died and it’s Florida.
I don’t think anyone eats sea birds either. Maybe if they are starving. Killing an Albatross is bad luck.
This pelican, a member of the true flying professionals, birds, didn’t learn one of the basic skills glider pilots learn, see and avoid…
OT: This can’t possibly work, but I’m going to irritate everyone until someone tells me how to embed a rim shot. ‘Course, you could be sorry:
Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over dew.
RBG
OT: I tried copying the source code into my message above. Nope.
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
RBG
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