This probably won’t break for a while on the networks and other news services, but UDNS has been a small, but pretty reliable news service in the past. All this has happened during what appears to have been a bizarre night.
Election 2008 — All Hell Has Broken Loose In Washington
In a stunning set of developments that occurred all within 45 minutes of each other, the two top candidates for the Democratic nomination and the presumptive Republican nominee have drop out of the race for the White House. Sen. Hillary Clinton (D), Sen. Barack Obama (D) and Sen. John McCain (R) have each made speeches between 2:30am and 3:15am EDT stating that because of soon to be released information, they are withdrawing from their respective campaigns.
For reasons that are not yet fully understood, an unprecedented, highly volatile meeting between the three candidates and their party’s leaders resulted in a compromise that will see Ralph Nader, consumer activist and independent candidate for the office, be the only name to appear on the November election for either party. In short, without Sen. McCain and either Sen. Clinton or Sen. Obama on the ticket, Nader will become the next President of the United States.
This is the best you could do?
You’ll have to try harder, John… An April fools news item has to be at least a wee bit believable.
Yeah UD, you can do better. >yawn<
NOOOO! This is great news. I only wish good news came more than once a year.
Yeah, If Only !!! Then working people might have half a chance in America !!! As it is now, America is a CORPORATE FASCIST STATE !!! Mussolini said Fascisim is the welding of the power of the Corporations with the power of the State, and the Repukes have done a pretty good job, and have DESTROYED OUR REPUBLIC – ALL IN THE NAME OF MORE AND MORE ***PROFITS*** !!!
That devil cat is scary!! Click the linky!!!
Well, I expected more from Dvorak, along the same lines as Digg’s news. Let’s do better next year!
At least we can still vote for Ron Paul!! Go Internets!
http://tinyurl.com/29uc8d
[Cripes. You got me. – ed.]
Doesn’t matter who wins, they get “taken out” and replaced with Al Gore in a year and the rolling blackouts begin.
April fools should be abolished. It’s such a waste of time.
# 9 rick said, on April 1st, 2008 at 4:53 am
“April fools should be abolished. It’s such a waste of time.”
Then WTF are you doing?! GET TO WORK!
THIS IS BETTER
LHC – Large HardOn Collider
http://largehardoncollider.com/
The black hole issue is also addressed, no worry.
Currently under construction, the LHC is scheduled to begin operation in May 2008.
The LHC is expected to become the world’s largest and highest energy penile accelerator ever assembled. Expected to penetrate new areas, the LHC will produce high speed, head-on collisions between beams of yonic and phallic particles.
When switched on, it is hoped that colliding the hard-on will produce the elusive Higgs Climactic Particle — often dubbed the ‘Oh God! Part’ — the observation of which could confirm the ‘missing contacts’ for my human intercourse, and explain how other elementary parts acquire properties such as [m]ass, attraction, hotness, chemistry, etc.
The big story that will break later today is that Bush has decided to overturn the 22nd Constitutional Amendment and run for a 3rd term.
# 13 jbenson2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 5:29 am
“The big story that will break later today is that Bush has decided to overturn the 22nd Constitutional Amendment and run for a 3rd term.”
That’s not even funny.
What gives it away is that John would normally have a BS meter on a story like this.
You know, one 4/1 joke is funny. But come on this is getting silly.
I also understand the desire to show what 4/1 jokes others are doing. So, how about you wait till the end of the day and do a single post with a listing of the good ones.
This is such a cruel April Fools joke.
Raise our hopes and dreams, then crush them with no mercy.
You could have done better, D
It’s fairly believable, IMO. Some people were talking about Gore trying for Pres if the Dhimmis can’t settle on which, and a three way brawl between them would probably take out all three. Nadir might actually get the majority of the Dhimmi vote.
The Repugs are unhappy with McCain’s lefty positions on a lot of issues and might just stay home if they don’t have someone horrible to vote against, and they think Nadir is a joke.
(But, take a look at how what Nadir wants, and consider what laws and Constitutional amendments would be required to enforce them. What he wants is against human nature and self interest, so only a totalitarian gov’t could enforce his dreams.)
I get it April Fools.
But it raises a legitimate issue that people ignore when they demand that Hillary drop out.
Obama could still self-destruct.
Then Hillary will have been a idiot for dropping out.
(And don’t say it couldn’t happen. Obama is a relatively un-tested, un-vetted candidate.)
Ron Paul in ’08 😀
More proof there isn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties.
He still wouldn’t win, even running unopposed. My guess is the “Mickey Mouse” campaign would beat him by a landslide.
Nader the only candidate? Are we forgetting about the Green Party? Kat Swift for President?
/waits for blank stares/
oh teh noes