The Robotic Breast Groper

By Saturday March 1, 2008

The Japanese inventor’s reasons for creating his breast massage robot are as unique as his device.

As a result of market research, we specified our targeting consumer groups which are listed below:

  1. Girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast.
  2. Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery.
  3. Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk.
  4. Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.
  5. Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.
  6. Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.
  7. Women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities.
  8. Women who want to have pretty breasts.

“Only the best massager touches these.”

Ain’t got your robotic fix yet? Try these guys.



14 Comments
  1. Les says:
    3/1/2008 at 7:12 am

    Ah…um…er…hm….

  2. Jägermeister says:
    3/1/2008 at 7:59 am

    “Yeah, baby!”


    Click pic for larger image.

  3. John Paradox says:
    3/1/2008 at 9:17 am

    Robots get all the fun.

    J/P=?

  4. joaoPT says:
    3/1/2008 at 10:12 am

    1st Man machine marriage WILL be in Japan. That’s a certainty of life…

  5. Balbas says:
    3/1/2008 at 10:20 am

    There’ll be alot of men who’ll want one too.

  6. Peter Rodwell says:
    3/1/2008 at 11:01 am

    I don’t know why they bothered to invent a robot for this – I’d willingly have volunteered for the job.

  7. hhopper says:
    3/1/2008 at 11:54 am

    It was just a matter of time until someone said that.

  8. JimR says:
    3/1/2008 at 12:51 pm

    #6, ssssh. The idea is to get the statistics to prove all those benefits while keeping the machines expensive and scarce. Then once breast massaging becomes an acceptable and beneficial practice, become a professional breast masseuse. Patience guys… patience!

  9. the Three-Headed Cat™ says:
    3/1/2008 at 1:46 pm

    An excellent plan, Jim… or so I would’ve said before considering the downside – that for every dream pair o’ puppies, there’s a half-dozen stretch socks full of wet sand out there waiting to be palpitated. Just as with being a makeup artist or hairdresser, unless you’re already at the top, you can’t pick your clientele, which to me means, ‘Yecch, never mind. Go get the robot.’ 🙂

  10. billabong says:
    3/1/2008 at 3:48 pm

    Today I became an offical Luddite.Now I know how those French weavers felt when they put their wooden shoes”sabots” into the first power weavers. STOP THE MACHINES!

  11. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:
    3/1/2008 at 4:22 pm

    Something just occurred to me. We’ve got a fellow commenter and sometime sparring partner here who goes by his initials. Could it be that we’ve accidentally uncovered the secret that…
    RBG = Robotic Breast Groper?

    Cheers, RBG 😉

  12. JimR says:
    3/1/2008 at 5:46 pm

    #9, THC, ah yes, but don’t worry. The data will show that breast groping… er … massaging will only be effective for women under 30. How do I know that you ask? Why… I’m a professional data masseuse!

  13. chuck says:
    3/1/2008 at 10:21 pm

    I would have thought there would be a bigger market for a robotic wankerficator.

  14. Baaaashoe says:
    4/10/2008 at 7:19 am

    Hehehe..

    It’s is made by a Chinese company in Beijing.


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