Great Invention Idea? A Musical Condom
United States patent 5163447 is for a Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom! That’s right, it’s a musical condom! This baby looks and acts like a traditional condom and yet, manages to go a step further by incorporating “a chip-controlled piezoelectric sound transducer (18) which plays a melody or voiced message when during intercourse the contacts of the sound-playing unit are closed and the transducer is activated” by forceful movements. Just think of all the fun you’ll have – besides the sex of course.
The prophylactic works like this: record a song or message, put the prophylactic on, begin your business, then every time you thrust your recording is played out loud.
So here’s a new party game. Pick a person and guess what they would program into their musical condom. Examples:
- Bill Gates – the Windows startup sound
- John C Dvorak – a dozen sound effects
- Leo Laporte – “another TWiT is in the can”
- Steve Jobs – doesn’t matter as long as you bought it on Tunes
Awwww,only a dozen sound effects,do you have a problem you want to share with us John.
What sounds would Barak do if here were banging out with Hillary? what if their son became next president (half black half woman)? why the fuck is this news?
Always look on the bright side of life….
[Duplicate comment. – Deleted. – ed.]
Steve Jobs condom wouldn’t play anything because he wouldn’t be able to transfer the music out of iTunes to the non-apple condom.
Hows the Bass response.
Crazy by Patsy Cline
where the heck are the speakers?
Should that condom not have a “this side up” advisory on #18?
Is that a clit tab or wut.
How cum she can hear the music & I can’t?
Well excuse me for askin’
Mike Huckabee – “She’ll be Coming ’round the Mountain (when she comes, toot, toot!)”
or “Put Your
HandGland in the Hand of the Man Who Walked the Water”Larry ‘Wide-Stance’ Craig – “Come Together”
Bill Clinton – “Blown in the Wind”
O’Bama after the Kennedy endorsement – “When Irish Eyes are Smiling”
GW Bush – “Oops! I Did It Again” or the Theme from eMission Impossible
now that is just silly. would it play faster if the male “works” faster.
I would say however “pop goes the weasel” would be just hilarous in a wrong kind of way
#4 wbskeet37
Yes, you are correct.
That’s why Apple is launching…
The iCon
So right on so many levels
Cheers
#14, Is that supposed to fit the newest laughtop, the Mac Air? Neat pic.
#15 BubbaRay Thanks
Yes, you’re right…this one
Cheers
“another TWIT is in the can!” romfl
Sence no one has an answer, i will add my suggestion for a song…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU….
The WEDDING MARCH..
Shes GOT BIG BUT..
“If I Knew You Were Coming I’d a Baked a Cake.”
White Wedding by Billy Idol
OK, just for some geezers, how about “Stairway to Heaven?”
who’s your daddy
who’s your daddy
who’s your daddy
LOL
The Wah Wah sound when Pac-Man dies
i’ll stick to my usual… whistling while i work…
Paul Simon’s Slip Slidin’ Away
OK, when I saw this, I had to create an account so I could comment on this. The inventor’s name on this patent is Paul Lyons. This guy was my Social Studies and current events teacher in high school.
Beat that internets!!!
Im dreaming of a WHITE christmas…
Come Share The Wine by Jimmy Sturr And His Orchestra. Winner Best Polka Album at this year’s Grammys.
“Knockin on heavens door”
iiiiiii’m the maaaaan in the box.