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Terrorists, thieves and tornadoes – oh, Canada! Australians considering a trip to the Great White North may find themselves quickly making other plans after reading their federal government’s travel advisory on Canada.The Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade recently updated its “Smart Traveler” website – intended to give travelers “up-to-date information about the risks Australians might face overseas” – and classified the world’s nations into five categories based on their current “security situation.” “We advise you to exercise caution and monitor developments that might affect your safety in Canada because of the risk of terrorist attack,” the website reads. “Pay close attention to your personal security and monitor the media for information about possible new safety or security risks.” While the crime rate in Canada is acknowledged to be “similar to that of Australia,” tourists are warned to remain vigilant as “pick pocketing and street theft occurs at tourist destinations, hotels and on public transit.” “Heavy snowfalls and ice in the winter can make driving dangerous. The wind-chill factor can also create dangerously cold outdoor conditions. … The province of British Columbia in western Canada is in an active earthquake zone. Alberta and British Columbia are also subject to avalanches. … Tornadoes can occur in some areas of Canada between May and September. Bush and forest fires can occur any time in Canada.”
Sounds like a real hell hole, forget Mexico, I’m calling for a border fence, now!
Should be able to do better than Moosehead. Drop by Gahan House in Charlottetown and try their IPA.
This is actually quite disturbing. It gets snow in the winter and when the snow accumulates in the mountains–even avalanches. OMFG!!!
Does make Mexico look good, except for their water, food, drugs, police, politics, religion, land reform, bandits===etc.
Between this alert and that whole passport thing, I think I’m staying north of the bridge to Windsor.
“Bush and forest fires can occur any time in Canada.”
Bush?? BUSH!!! You guys ain’t gonna send him up here after the next election, are you?
“Alberta and British Columbia are also subject to avalanches.”
But you actually have to be standing (or skiing) down a mountain to be at risk. Avalanches in downtown Vancouver are rare.
OTH, crack-whores and heroin addicts are on virtually every street corner.
Let me see… Australia has more poisonous snakes and poisonous spiders than any other continent. That includes the most poisonous snake known, which will kill you in a matter of minutes (no antidote exists). Driving in the Outback at night is very dangerous due to the surprisingly high risk of hitting a feral camel (not kidding). Oh, and you might encounter a shark while snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef. Sounds much safer up here in the North!
@MikeR
That is our plan.. You get Bush.. We elect Clinton and we merge and become the United Countries of North America (UCNA).
We’ve not released our plan for Mexico yet, but I believe it has to do with using corn and other edible foods they grow for HydroE95 cars. Thus forcing them into submission. =) But that is still a rough draft at this point…
– Ben
I have to wonder, given how closely Austrailia’s PM is with Bush (he seems to idolize him), if there’s any connection between Canada putting the US on their list of countries to watch for torturing people and this type of crap.
So when did our foreign relations with Australia go sour then?
#8 They got a new PM a month ago. Who no where near what John Howard was in his relationship with Bush &co
#10. Don’t kid yourselves, Australian politics is deeply influenced by US interest. One does not “become” an Australian PM, one is “allowed” to.
The Aussies neglected to mention that we have to fight off polar bears which run wild in the streets. Our sled dogs (our main mode of transportation) are very vicious as we use them to fight off polar bears. Also we abandon our elderly on ice flows and drink excessive amounts of beer.
To any Australian reading this, it’s far worse in Canada than the article describes. Meteors falling from the sky, the antichrist elected premier of Alberta, cats mating with dogs, and a general lack of vegemite.
Please stay away for your own safety.
At least there are no baby stealing dingoes.
Why can’t the Canadians come down here and do my lawn work?
15,
Because your money is worthless and your women are humongous!
Stay away from Canada because of the pick pockets? wasn’t Oz founded by pick pockets?
what do you expect from people whose brains have to work upside -down!
Well it is 26th down here so “HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY”
and hell I not got to Canada after reading that
Canadians also have this wonderful right of passage. A true Canadian receives his status only after fornicating in a snowbank or a canoe.
Australian’s right of passage involves a wallaby.
Happy Australia Day my Aussie friends!
The only thing that scares me about Aussie travelers in cold climates is that they have ZERO experience driving in snow and ice. Yet, we allow them to rent cars on their Aussie DL’s.
I’m a Yank. When I took my driving test for my Western Australia DL, I saw nothing about how to handle an ice slide, snow, etc. Fair enough, they don’t get such things in Western AU. But they do travel to places that do get ice and snow.
I’d like to see AU require drivers get some training on slid pans. That way they will know what it feels like when they hit a patch of ice when driving.
Canada? Thirty million pot smokers just one toque over the line.
Greetings from BC, aka Lotusland. Kid recently died in an avalanche not far from here. He was one of four hundred Australians working at the resort.
The greatest Canadian hazard is living next door to a country on steroids.
Hey Blumpkin! You ever been to Canada? You really don’t want us taking care of your lawn. However we will need to more chair lift operators at the ski hills once the Aussies leave…
Anyways.. with the drought. They don’t have any lawns left to take care of… (I’m sorry about the joke. I was there last year and know how bad it really is)
I’m in Toronto and looking out my window. 1/2 inch of snow on the ground. There’s a guy outside with a lighter trying to set a tree on fire, yelling as loud as he can trying to make the snow fall off of people’s roofs and he’s staring at women’s purses as they walk by.
From the sound of his accent, he’s Australian.
OPENLY(FRANKLY) CANADA IS MORE VIOLENT THAN AUSTRALIA IN CRIMINALITY. IN AUSTRALIA YOU HAVE SOME MULTIETHNIC GANG WHICH STEALS AND HURTS (DAMAGES) PERSONS IN MAY THEY ARE TO ARREST(DREAD). MURDERS VIOLENT IS RARE. IN CANADA IN SURE CITIES HE(IT) YA OF THE FUSSILADES FIREARMS BEGIN IN THIS REPENDERNT AS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BORDER IN the USA.FUSILLADES IN THE STREET, IN THE HIGH SCHOOLS… finally in brief the violence has the american gains ground low.