WWJWDD (what would Jesus’ wiener dog do)?
Holding Jesus Hostage
Anonymous residents on Lindy Lane claim Jean Mansel isn’t picking up after her dogs, so to entice her to do so, they took something close to her heart.Those residents say their Mansel’s wiener dogs leave their leavings in their yard.
So, they stole her 80 pound statue of Jesus.
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Holy shit!
I thought the light switch cover was funnier.
Lightswitch (either on or off) triggers evil thoughts on many levels.
ya think anything is holier these days…
i mean she has a cheap 80 lb concrete jesus in her yard, ya think she might have some decency not to let he dogs shit on others lawns…
i think it is a great idea…
course i woulda flung he dogs leavings in my yard onto her jesus…
not that would really be Holy Shit!
Taliban neighbors?
FTUA (From The Updated Article):
“The family heirloom was returned Sunday evening to the home of Jean Mansel.
Jean told WZZM 13 the statue had been returned, taken not by neighbors but by family members. She declined to explain further, only that this has now become a family situation.”
Personally, if someone cannot show the consideration of cleaning up after their animal then they shouldn’t be allowed to have them!
“The 80 pound concrete statue is a family heirloom.”
Do the family a favor, Ma. Take that thing with you to the other side, and see if Jesus thinks 8- pounds of concrete is an heirloom.
Rings, bracelets, antiques. These can be heirlooms. Something made with a mold, a bucket, some gravel and a wheelbarrow? Not so much.
#2 & 3 Dean & OmarTheAlien – I can’t imagine life being so pure and innocent where I couldn’t see what was so obviously wrong with the Jesus switch.
“Hi kids Jesus here…want to see a light trick?”
This is what you get when you remove Sex ED from schools.
Cheers
Nice picture.
I’m glad to see you are still scrupulously avoiding offending your Christian readers.
Poopie catapult. Parents don’t let your kids switch on jesus light.
#10 James Armstrong – Hey that is A Jesus light plate what’s there to offend? Turn the other cheek…wait, what cheeks did he mean? Damn!
The stupid thing is most Christians have no idea of who they are professing to follow – is it the real Jesus or the Pauline manifested image of Jesus? The goof is Paul (Saul) never met Jesus and was at odds with Jesus’s brother James.
Jesus is not even his name as it comes from the Greek translation of Joshua! Joshua the Christ. Ooooo that sounds rather Jewish…better stick with Jesus.
The Jesus / Joshua image has been so twisted and distorted that what “Christians” are following has all been invented after the fact and bears little semblance to the real Jesus / Joshua. The irony is this is not assumptions but is accepted as historical fact by religious scholars.
If god wrote in the sky in mile high flaming letters visible both day and night for a month in all languages “God here, listen you have it all wrong! All of you stop worshiping me and get on with your life!” how many would believe it and change? I would expect it would have the opposite effect! (God slapping his forehead “DOh!”)
Cheers
Hmm…They better return that cement Jesus because that wiener dog might have been pooping in the love of the god so you can have a harvest.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=15u6fHkICxc
At about 00.44
If that doesn’t make sense wait until about 01.00 and all is explained – praise to Jesus.
Thank god for evangelicals you can’t make up stuff as good as this! 🙂 In that way it would be a shame not to have Chuckleberry as President as it would be a harvest for comics! Glory to god! 😉
Cheers
TIHZ—“doing laundry with the love of God”—you can’t make this stuff up, thanks for the link. I thought we were past the Tower of Babble?
So–am I correct to think that “IF” we truly had separation of Church and State these charlatans would be prosecuted/denied the airwaves because they are an obvious fraud? Two steps worse than astrology predictions that have to add the small print “This show is for entertainment only.”
Why is there no required small print “This is a fraud to take your money. Donate only if you are an idiot.”
NO–such warning would not be enough. The fact these boobs are on the TV shows the State’s hands off stance is actually support for their wacko ways.
You know, even a casual look at the Caption Pic is disturbing. Looks like Jesus has his own wiener erect between the two kids?
I’m sure this is unintentional by all involved? But Jesus does love the little children. Too bad they sinned by being born.
Bobbo – I have to agree with you 100% on that – praise be to god.
This is proof that there is no separation of church and state. To Evangelicals, born again Baptists this is not obvious fraud this is the good work – glory to god – and you must accept Jesus into your heart yadda yadda yadda.
Your right too that even with a 10 second warning that what they are about to see is all shit they would just think “how sad the people who think that didn’t do their work with the love of god and got a harvest. (WTF is a harvest anyway? Seems to be all greedy shit, what do I get, huh, huh, huh?)
I saw a clip on CNN (yes I get CNN in China) where Chuckleberry seemed to have lost a primary and this old woman was telling him she is an Evangelical too and voted with her heart – Glory on high. Chuckleberry was hoping his Evangelical Baptist past would come through in the end but…goddamn it, it didn’t – praise be to him.
I used to live in Va Beach Va – Pat Robertson, CBN and the 700 Club town and met and worked with so many people who would be praising Jesus watching these shows like that clip.
On occasion I watched channel 27 CBN cause they re-ran Gilligan’s Island and other old shows (before cable) and for a laugh or too lazy to change the channel I would watch ol’ Pat phishing for money on the 700 Club. Its really scary there are enough people who really fall for this shit.
On another note, can you imagine what would happen in the US if say orthodox Jews became ‘Evangelical Jews’ started their own JBN – Jewish Broadcasting Network with prayer seeds, harvests same as the Evangelical Christians? And the Muslims as well? Holy Shit the walls of Jerrycurl or Jericho come tumbling down again! Praise be to Him. LOL!! 😆
Now tell me that there is already this in the US!
Cheers
Oh and speaking of “You should see my wiener in action”…
http://www.welaf.com/funny-picture-1668.html
Be afraid! Be very afraid!
Cheers
THIZ–last time I checked, GOUSA made it illegal for Muslim Charities to raise money. If ANY, I mean ANY of their money gets to anything close to a terrorist or terrorist group–including medical care for their victims–then all the assets of the charity are seized as a terrorist support organization.
The Jews would be a tougher call as their destruction is part of the apocalypse. Too mystical to call.
BTW–this whole government confiscating property without due process is one of my “real” gripes about where GOUSA has gone. The details are truly disturbing. Emminent Domain when taking private property for the use of other private interests is simply a crime. Its also how Bushie Boy got rich. Moyers did an excellent segment on this last night===the rich getting richer off the backs of the poor and middle class.
No class warfare indeed.
#18 Bobbo – Really it is illegal for Muslims Charities to collect money? WOW! How is that possible…oh yeah we were just discussing that.
What about Christian money going to abortion clinic bombings? Or better yet Evangelical white supremists? What happens then? Nothing?
And which Jews are destroyed exactly? Jesus was still a rabbi, royal heir to the Jewish crown and a devout Jew who’s name was actually Yeshua or Joshua (Jesus is only from the Greek translation) so wouldn’t Jesus’ / Joshua’s followers also be destroyed? Sounds like a circular argument or divide by zero shit. As you said too mystical… 😉
GOUSA sounds like ‘Goose-Ya’ – and we all know what giving someone the goose is…right up the arse!
To tell the truth I need to get more up to date on Goose-Ya / GOUSA. Google wasn’t much help there (GOUSA = girls gymnastic camp – sounds good so far Giggity Giggity Goo!).
Cheers
#12
“If god wrote in the sky in mile high flaming letters visible both day and night for a month in all languages “God here, listen you have it all wrong! All of you stop worshiping me and get on with your life!” how many would believe it and change? I would expect it would have the opposite effect! (God slapping his forehead “DOh!”)”
Actually God states very clearly in the Old and New Testaments to worship him.
The trouble is that he made changes that return the process back to the time before Abram became Abraham. And well no one in the ‘business’ of Abrahamic religion is happy with that, so they ignored it. Too much money to lose if they went with what Jesus said.
See Jesus put organised religion out of business. But the powers that be snuffed that out quickly so they could continue to hold fast to the pagan shaman traditions of before.
Cursor_
THIZ—excuse me if I misperceive but GOUSA is just my abbreviation for “Good Old United States of America.” Other folks use it too.
Abbreviations are easily missed. For instance, I don’t know what SFW means.
Being comfortable in ambiguity and our own ignorance is a “blessing.”
GOUSA–I should add then when I am being precise, I use the term with sadness when I percieve that the USA is not living up to its stated values or otherwise as the best/better it could and should be?
GOUSA = Good Old USA
SFW = Safe For Work
NSFW = Not Safe For Work
STFU = Shut The F___ Up
Any others you need defined? Maybe I should do a post on Interwebitube abbreviations.
Thanks Uncle Dave
If only my memory was perfect, I’ve seen them all in context at one time or another.
I suggested one site have an abbreviations list and that posters actually wanting to communicate would make sure their abbreviation was there on first use but I was told that was what google was for. Wouldn’t you know, google doesn’t always tell you?
Then, how to let people know the abbreviation list is available.
Ain’t site management a biotch? Maybe much like your constant request for tinyurl, reference to your sidebar list of abbrevitions would over time become known? But THAT would mean you actually want to communicate as well? You have already done more than most–bravo!!
Yes, Thanks for that Uncle Dave.
The handy little HTML code hints that were on the old site would be a help to us HTML deficient folks.
Not wanting to make work for someone but a tutorial on how to be better at posting on DU might be good with example snippets of code and the result.
I thought I was pretty good at abbreviations but the GOUSA got me! I just figured there Bush & Company started something like the Hitler youth…was that too much – did I go too far with that?
#20 Cursor_ said “Actually God states very clearly in the Old and New Testaments to worship him.”
This worship of God by the Jews is a misinterpretation of the 10 commandments delivered by Moses. It is in the context of a ‘marriage’ covenant between God and Moses’ Jews. Hence have no other gods before me, be faithful to your wife. This is also why this Jewish sect labeled themselves as the “God’s Chosen People” This is a bit too complex for the layperson to understand but religious scholars are well into it.
“Jesus put organized religion out of business. But the powers that be snuffed that out quickly so they could continue to hold fast to the pagan shaman traditions of before.”
Jesus was a devout Jew and to suggest that Jesus intended to instigate a new religion to supplant Judaism would have been seen by Jesus as blasphemy!!!
Paul (Saul) was the one who did that – Paul was the great first Evangelicals and created the religion to supplant all others. Ironically Christians today are all Pauline Christians with nothing to do with the original Jesus. In fact Paul was at odds with Jesus’ brother James who was next in line to the Jewish crown.
It was Paul who grafted many aspects of the story of Tammuz the god of ancient Phoenician and Sumeria such as; Tammuz was born of a virgin, died from a wound to his side, rose again from his tomb after three days leaving it vacant with the rock rolled out of the way. In fact this story line is very popular with all the gods of that day. Strange coincidences? No not at all because Christians today are Pauline Christians. Sadly this is far too much for common bible thumpers on their way to a prayer fest to get a harvest to understand.
Another fact is the common Bible around today like the King James etc are all still from Greek translations hence Yeshua the Messiah is called Jesus Christ. Christ comes from the Greek “Christo” meaning “anointed one’ or king same as Messiah. There are many contradictions of biblical text apparent caused by the extensive editing over hundreds of years.
Retell a story long enough it becomes fact. The fact is we look at Biblical times through our modern eyes and that is wrong, wrong wrong! There was no such thing as a separation of Church and State as they were one and the same. The King was the head or chief priest / teacher the conduit between god and the people. To suggest the king as being divine was out of the question!
Jesus was the rightful heir to the Jewish crown and Judea was occupied by the Romans with a false puppet king. Jesus traced back his bloodline back to David the Messiah. This of course was a threat to Rome and Herod.
Jesus was not from Nazareth as everyone thinks as it was doubtful the city exsisted at the that time, he was a Nazerian Jew which was a Jewish sect or party such as the Sadducee, Pharisee, Essenes and so on. Jesus’ teachings follow very closely Nazerian teachings. It was the Sadducee Jews which sought to have Jesus ‘eliminated’ as they were quite comfy with their arrangements with Rome.
Jesus was not poor at all – he was well educated not a carpenter (that just meant educated) and the family was wealthy with wealthy friends – Joesph of Arimathea. In fact the gospels disagree with each other on where Jesus was born. One says in a manger the other in a house.
And on and on it goes… Too much for a comment. Suffice to say Jesus ain’t what Christians thinks he is – but hey its been going one for so long why upset the cart? 😉
Cheers
Thiz–boy, you raise a lot of issues there. But I’ve come across similar websites run by Christians along the lines of “Everything you think you know about Jesus is wrong.” or same with the bible.
How anyone can actually read the bible and historical texts and stay religious is beyond me.
Still, any easy reference to the notion that “Jesus was the rightful heir to the Jewish crown”
–was there a jewish crown?
–was Jesus really a king in waiting?
–waiting for what?–I thought he was a common born laborer?/tradesman and not a king at all?
Anyway, I also googled “GOUSA”==and maybe I did corrupt “Go USA” and if first use has any authority the Masons with their “Grand Orient of the United States of America” surely has more authority?
As usual, context is all.
#26 Bobbo said – “How anyone can actually read the bible and historical texts and stay religious is beyond me.”
Haha! That’s right!
Was there a Jewish Crown / King?
Sure there was – King David, King Solomon…all were Messiahs! Judea was occupied with a false king Herod who took a princess as a bride in the attempt to legitimize his position as King.
Bobbo the problem here is we think of Kings the same way we think of the King of England and that is not correct. Translation is key as the meaning of King was different then as opposed to now.
Don’t think that the Bible is the only historical document to survive from 2000 years ago – far from it! 🙂 The problem with the study of Jesus et al is always in the religious sense using church dogma. When one does a historical study of Jesus, the people, culture and countries a completely different picture develops.
There was a historical Jesus who had four brothers and at least two sisters. So there is a possibility of a Jesus bloodline existing today whether or not Jesus was married. On that subject it would have been impossible for Jesus a devout Jew and a Rabbi to NOT be married!
Connect the historical dots.
Jesus comes from the house of David, David was King David (David the Messiah, “Messiah” meaning “anointed one” with the anointing done by the wife) of the Jews, Judea was occupied by Rome
King Herod was the puppet King of Judea installed by Rome, Herod would be threatened by any one of royal blood
Jesus was an educated Rabbi not a carpenter or common tradesman. Carpenter in this sense means “of a trade’ meaning educated.
Jesus and mother Mary seem to be more the hosts at the wedding at Canna as Jesus was tasked to get more wine by his mother. At that time it was the groom who provided wine and food for the wedding guests. Even the Vatican states there is no theological issue with Jesus being married and Jesus never ever stated one should be celibate!!
Mary Madelene was not a whore as the Catholics painted the picture but later admitted that was incorrect. She was in fact from royal stock.
It was Mary Madelene who anointed the head of Jesus. At that time the wife of the king does the anointing.
Many other religious documents such as the Koran and Hindu speak of Jesus but not in the way we know it. Both Islamic and Hindu documents speak of Jesus surving the crucifixion.
The dead sea and Nag Hammadi scrolls paint a different picture of the biblical text and Jesus…and on and on it goes!
Many of this has been confirmed by the Vatican and many historical scholars who have access to documents and 80 some gospels not included in the bible we know today.
Anyway faith is meant to be blind…so why let the facts get in the way of a good story that has been told so long who is going to change it now…right? “He that have ears let him hear…”
I’ll stop here as I am writing a book it seems… 🙂
Cheers
Bobbo If you want to read more about documents dealing with biblical times and Jesus the Nag Hammadi codexes are available on line.
“The Nag Hammadi Library, a collection of thirteen ancient codices containing over fifty texts, was discovered in upper Egypt in 1945. This immensely important discovery includes a large number of primary Gnostic scriptures — texts once thought to have been entirely destroyed during the early Christian struggle to define “orthodoxy” — scriptures such as the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Philip, and the Gospel of Truth.”
http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/nhl.html
Nothing like finding crucial documents the church thought were all destroyed… 😉
Cheers
#25
“Jesus was a devout Jew and to suggest that Jesus intended to instigate a new religion to supplant Judaism would have been seen by Jesus as blasphemy!!!”
Of course he didn’t start a new religion. He returned the religion BACK to its pre-mosiac days. When people were proven by faith and not by works as the mosiac code had.
This WHY judaism, islam and christianity are all so screwed up now. They have all continued in the mosiac traditions.
As for God being worshipped, it goes before the ten commandments of which that was only ten of 613. I find it convenient that people STAMP on those ten and neglect the other 603. I mean if you are going to pound sand with the ten, you’d better get the rest in as well.
It doesn’t matter anyway. The 613 are all now combined into two commands that does what the 613 did separately. That is how it was when Abram was around. And it is WHY modern people whom claim judaism, islam and christianity are NOT doing as Jesus said.
As Jesus would say they still prefer old wine and think it is better because tradition was and is more important than truth, prudence and compassion.
This is why humans suffer. They embrace their traditions and make them laws and things to be worshipped.
Cursor_
I’d put some ground meat mixed with some ground glass on her lawn to teach her a lesson.