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If only this had been available a few years ago, think of all the craziness this kit could have prevented. While you’re at it, check out all the other Big Brother accoutrements these guys sell.
The KT100 CheckMate Semen and “Sperm” Detection Test Kit is simply the easiest and most cost effective way to put an end to the nightmare of suspicion and doubt caused by the infidelity of a cheating spouse. If your Customers need to know what’s really going on in their relationships and they want to know now, tell them to try the CheckMate semen detection test kit. Now they can quickly, easily, and accurately detect and identify suspected semen and or “sperm” stains in undergarments in 5 minutes or less.
The Original CheckMate Semen Detection Test Kit will quickly and easily monitor your spouse’s or child’s sexual activity by detecting invisible traces of dried semen that is left in their undergarments after sex…
If any traces of semen are present on the area you decide to test, even in the smallest trace amounts, the patent pending CheckMate Semen Detection Test Kit will detect it. Invisible traces of dried semen can easily be detected for up to 2 years.
“semen can easily be detected for up to 2 years”
~Insert Monica joke here~
I know this might be hard to believe, but what if the man in her life has a propensity to masturbation?
I don’t get it. The only way this works is if YOU don’t have sex with your wife for more than 2 years?
#3 No, semen can be found by this kit up to 2 years after the um… act was uh… completed.
yup, seems like a gimmick.
OK, here’s a radical notion. If you find yourself purchasing one of these things, consider this, your marriage is already over. You don’t trust your spouse and are the jealous type. Get a divorce now. It doesn’t matter what the test shows.
Also, this can’t even be really effective because it relies on a husband who is likely a sexist bastard if he thinks it’s OK to check up on his wife this way, actually doing the laundry. Yeah … that’s really going to happen.
And, just because anything this sexist always pisses me off, where’s the women’s equivalent? Check for hints of vaginal juices on your hubby’s underwear, pubes, and facial hair.
As for checking on one’s daughters this way, I can’t even begin to formulate a response. Oh wait. Maybe I can. How about talking to your children about sex and leaving some condoms around the house where they will find them, if you can’t bring yourself to just give them to your kids with an appropriate “not encouragement, but just in case” type message? (Of course, it’s easy for those who have given their children the gift of non-existence to sound this way about it. But, I would like to believe that if I had a daughter, I would treat her with this much respect.)
Take the kit with you to just about any Hotel or Motel and you may never sleep away from home again.
#7 – GigG,
ROFL and puking at the thought simultaneously. OK, only metaphorically. Although, I believe a black light works well enough at detecting bodily fluids. And since you know they’re not yours at the time you enter and likely don’t care what fluids they are …
When your absolutely THAT paranoid…
#7, Scott,
hahahaha,
Well said. Although I was thinking along the same lines, you said it (again) so much better.
Just to add, so you find semen. So what? That doesn’t prove who’s it is unless you care to now do an expensive DNA test. And go ahead and find a cheap lab that’ll do used undies.
#10,
“Just to add, so you find semen. So what? That doesn’t prove who’s it is unless you care to now do an expensive DNA test. And go ahead and find a cheap lab that’ll do used undies.” —Mister
Even if you could find a cheap lab. You still need to compare it to something and running after your Mail Man with a cotton swab may look suspicious.
#11, unless you can teach your dog
All you need is a ultraviolet light and dark room to find semen no some overpriced kit.
I thought this was taken off the market years ago! All you need is one false positive causing a divorce and they are out of business! The penis is always leaking a little semen.
#14, Timbo
The penis is always leaking a little semen.
You seldom fail to amaze me. Where do you come up with that crap?
The penis does NOT always leak semen, or any fluid for that matter. If you are always dripping, see a physician. You probably have a disease that starts with a “G” and rhymes with Diarrhea.
#15 Mister Catshit: “You seldom fail to amaze me. Where do you come up with that crap?”
I think what Timbo may be referring to is that a penis may “drip” small traces of semen at times not related to sexual intercourse.
For example most men, most mornings, between the hours of 4 and 7 (when testosterone levels are at there peak) get an erection (in their sleep) which releases small amounts of semen as lubricant for possible sexual acts. This may also be the case at times when a man gets aroused, even without necessarily getting an erection.
Whilst this is certianly not *always* it is a common and frequent occurance.
Please try to be a little more thoughtful before slamming people.
My husband. whom I am divorcing, snatched some of my undies. He presented me with a positive checkmate test. He can’t accept the I’m not seeing anyone, and that I really don’t want him because of who he is. Anyway, I have not been with anyone since I was with him 4 months ago, and the suspected undies have been washed since then. So, checkmate definitely does give false positives, take it from me. Checkmate should be put out of business, apparently there are many other tests out there that are much more accurate. So, before you start accusing, do your homework!