| I would be hard pressed to think of a more important issue for an elected official to spend his time and his constituent’s tax money on than ridding our land of the scourge of truck testicles. All together now: Castrate our trucks! Castrate our trucks! |
Virginia lawmaker seeks ban on replica genitalia after girl spots rubber testicles on truck
It is one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a truck’s trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia.State lawmaker Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying rubber replicas of male genitalia on vehicles,
calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250.
Click pic if you need a pair
This is a serious issue. You know how many trucks and SUVs are on the street? The gas consumption and environmental impact of an out of control truck population is astounding.
Please spay and neuter your trucks.
Lionel Spruill ought to get along great with Texas Rep. Warren Chisum.
Chisum proposed and managed to pass a Texas anti-dildo law.
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than, six dildos.
Don’t ask. I don’t know the significance of the number six.
It was only a matter of time.
Next to go will be the chromed nude silhouettes.
Land of the Free! Not!!!!!! I am so glad I live in Prague now. I just hope I can stay long enough for some sanity to return to the US. Over here the latest mandate was to try to remove prostitutes from the city center but it was really just a misdemeanor fine that they can give out if they are found soliciting and they don’t actually expect it to be paid. They made a big deal about the fact it will not affect the brothels though. The other day I drank a can of beer in line at the grocery store because I was thirsty and the line was long. My years of social conditioning from living in the north east had me waiting to be tackled by security as soon as I opened it. No one gave me a second look and the cashier happily rang up the empty can.
I can almost understand this. After all, most parents don’t want to have the discussion with their 4 year old daughter who asks “Mommy, what’s that?”.
Of course, if they live in the country, or have dogs, they’ve seen scrotum before.
The reason I can really understand it is just the pure redneckitude it takes to hang those on your truck. Yes, I just made that word up. Anyone who would put these on their truck deserves any hassle they get.
Of course, growing up in MS, I saw people put real deer scrotum over the trailer hitch on their trucks.
Let’s go after the real crime against humanity. Fine Richard Simmons each and every time he shows up wearing those things he calls shorts.
#4 Ben
Exactly, the US as the “Land of the Free” is anything BUT! That’s like saying Iran is the “Land of the Free.”
China seems to be more socially free than the US by a long shot. Your story about drinking a beer in the supermarket would have the same result in China – just pay for it – that would be the only concern.
The dumb thing is most Americans firmly believe not only are they the best in everything but the US is as well. Goebbels taught governments how that trick works… 😉
For example: The US mobile phone network – +70% still the old analogue network and the digital coverage sucks.
Yep the new Christian Iran – the USA – its the best! 🙂
Cheers
Thats just nuts!
Just another example of a politician trying to show that he has cojones.
“is just the pure ‘redneckitude’ it takes to hang those on your truck”
I see no difference in people having a truck scrotum than those people that have those chrome fish or those silly ‘support out troops’ magnetic rubber ribbons. Around here there are a bunch of gals that have little rubber antenna penis, seems to be a mexican girl thing along with the plate frame that states ‘I’m a porn star’. Me, I have a Wienerschnitzel antenna dog and a Darwin chrome fish with legs. I’ve had three of the Darwins ripped off. Found all of them. I’d like to get one of those little Calvin’s that’s peeing cept instead of Ford or Chevy have him peeing on a cross.
Yeah, purify your children from science and human anatomy… That’s the spirit! GOD forbid your child finds out what testicles are from you as a “parent”, before sleazy uncle Jimbo shows it to him/her! #7, you are right; this IS the Christian Iran.
#5 Calin “…Anyone who would put these on their truck deserves any hassle they get.”
Why should they be hassled in the first place in the land of the free? How about hassling people with the “fish” and “Jesus Saves” stickers?
Cheers
BALLS, I say !!!
#11 Major Balls
Thats right! Can’t screw up the children with sex ED before we have a chance to screw them up with the lord first now can we?
Cheers
There’s a truck at the place I get coffee in the morning that has these. It’s there every day without fail. It’s not exactly what you want to see at 6:30am.
#15 Angus – How about a pair of rubber boobs then?
Oh…and why are you still looking anyway? Its not like they’re waving in your face now are they?
Cheers
Dude, comparing rubber testicles and rubber boobs is like comparing Karl Rove and Jennifer Anniston naked.
And really, on a jacked up truck, like a F-350 or Ram, it’s practically at eyesight level. The truck always sits opposite the edge of the building where you turn, I have to look at the tailgate in order to not hit it.
I never liked those Calvin pissing on “insert picture here” decals either.
I’ve always said the Asshole lies right above the testicles.
( if you can’t figure out what I just said, Imagine the truck as a dog. Wheels are the legs. In the back you see the sack. And above the sack you see a black silhouette right where the driver should be. That, my friend, is the asshole. )
So what. My wife drives around with a vagina in her trailer hitch insert.
#17 LOL Not if you’re gay or a girl.
It’s a free country if it bothers you that much just don’t look, right?
Cheers
Pretty ballsy move Mister Spruill.
#19 Fair enough!
Cheers
The article isn’t faking when it says that they’re a safety issue because it could distract other drivers. The other day, in the lane to my right, was a truck with balls, and behind it, 4 cars got in a huge pile-up wreck, and then they all exploded and created a huge fireball that took out all the traffic behind them.
Then it happened again a few minutes later.
#23 WOW! Hahahaha!
Sure that was the rubber balls or a “Born Again” sticker and all of them wanted to test it?
Cheers
#5 – The reason I can really understand it is just the pure redneckitude it takes to hang those on your truck. Yes, I just made that word up.
But a good word it is 🙂
What ever happened to a SENSE OF HUMOR!!! Have we created such a SERIOUS society that we can smile, shake our heads and CHANGE LANES!?!?!
#10 – I’ve had three of the Darwins ripped off.
I feel your pain brother…
#12 – Why should they be hassled in the first place in the land of the free?
He should be hassled for having bad taste and should be hassled “peacefully” by those of who have both good taste and wit. In return, those of us with good taste must be resigned to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous doofuses in return…
He should NEVER be hassled by the law and his truck should never be vandalized. The hanging balls guy might be a boorish oaf, but he worked as hard to buy his truck and balls as I worked for my van and Darwin fish… and goddamnit, I am not going to touch his balls… (though I might mock them)
Freedom. No, you “should” not be hassled for whatever you put on your car, but yes, you will be. So==make choices and understand/live with the consequences and don’t whine like a little baby.
Distracting and a safety hazard? Yes they are==mostly on first seeing these things==as with any humorous bumper sticker, suction cup on window, femaile outline mudflaps and on and on. To be fair, we “should” outlaw them all, or legalize them all. I’m all for outlawing all such speech under time and place restrictions. Driving is for driving. blogging is for blogging. Voting is for voting. Bedrooms are for sex. Why the mix and match?
Just call us if you need to get your balls off.