Borg office party organizer
Microsoft submitted a patent application in the US for a “unique monitoring system” that could link workers to their computers. Wireless sensors could read “heart rate, galvanic skin response, EMG, brain signals, respiration rate, body temperature, movement facial movements, facial expressions and blood pressure”, the application states.
The system could also “automatically detect frustration or stress in the user” and “offer and provide assistance accordingly”. Physical changes to an employee would be matched to an individual psychological profile based on a worker’s weight, age and health. If the system picked up an increase in heart rate or facial expressions suggestive of stress or frustration, it would tell management that he needed help…
Microsoft refused to comment on the application, but said: “We have over 7,000 patents worldwide and we are proud of the quality of these patents and the innovations they represent. As a general practice, we do not typically comment on pending patent applications because claims made in the application may be modified through the approval process.”
What would Patrick Stewart do?
crypes! The possible evil is just to unimaginable to comprehend.
Time to replace the USB nerf launcher with a USB crossbow.
I have no problem with this — I’d love to be a Borg.
#1 – The possible evil is just to unimaginable to comprehend.
And the possible good is impossible to envision.
In my job, the last thing I need is a buggy system that reminds management to micromanage some more.
Microsoft delenda est!
There has never been a better argument for Open Source than this.
As I looked at this, I thought, “Well, what other company but M$ would even consider such a moral abortion?” Then it came to me that this device would proudly wear that little swoosh that says ‘Intel Inside.’
Cripes! I already work at a computer running VNC that allows my boss to see what’s on my screen at anytime. With MS-Borg, he’ll be able to tell if I really need to take a bathroom break or not!
I’m glad I’ll be dead in about 40 years or less.
Wow – this is great. Imagine the money that could be saved if you could tie this into HR and have someone automatically let go if their stress levels start approaching the stress-leave point.
“If the system picked up an increase in heart rate or facial expressions suggestive of stress or frustration, it would tell management that he needed help…”
I can only imagine the possibilities that management would use this information for. “you’re fired because your health is failing” would be one of them. Or how about incompetent managers? the stress would just keep going up, peticularly after the manager tried to do something about it. (since a good portion of managers become managers by promotion through incompetence, they would do the absolute wrong thing) As was stated above, micromanagement can only make the situation worse.
There seems to be a culture within many multinational corporations that reads 1984, Brave New World and Fahrenheit 451 as handbooks of good population management. I suppose this is what we reap for producing corporate cultures that promote sociopaths with no empathy above all other people, due to their ability to make money without any thought to the consequences.
Danger Wil Robinson, Danger…
Umm,
I NEED to say that IF’ MS was BORG..
The BORG would never get very far. BSOD, BSOD…
that said.
these types of monitors are ALREADY in service. But NOT as a single unit.
But, with the BLOATED MS software…This would be a 10lb Pendant, and a 486 server case to receive the data.
Yeah, the Apple Store web page comes up.
Unix OS’s have had this for years,,,, it’s VNC Apple has remote desktop… but you either give permission or have to login to the computer being spied on…
We used to have fun running a weird sound file on the ‘victums’ desktop while they tried to work..
or, running your CPU intensive program on the one fast computer at work… Ha! soon the fast computer became the slowest so you would find one that is not being used so much..
Hillary, Huckabee, and McCain are interested.
#16 – You are probably right about that.
I can not believe no comments include, “Resistance is futile.” I came here expecting that. Get with it people.
‘The system could also “automatically detect frustration or stress in the user” and “offer and provide assistance accordingly”.’
From a paperclip named Bob, no doubt…
And here I thought Icheb was such a party animal.
Efficient, maybe, but…
So Microsoft has so much money (or lawyers) that it can afford to file speculative patents on things it read about (or saw on the Discovery channel?) WITHOUT actually having developed or written any software. IOW, Microsoft is trying to patent vaporware, in case someone else actually does the hard work of writing the code. Then M$ can demand a royality down the road. This isn’t innovation, it exploitation! And it will only serve to kill the incentive for others to develop their own programs. Which I’m sure Microsoft is just happy about. But shouldn’t the patent system be a bit more selective (hopefully it is) about approving such speculative concepts, that haven’t even demoed any real product?