tasermph.jpg

You know what a bother it is to carry both [video halfway down the page] your MP3 music player and your Taser gun? Worry no more.

At CES, Taser International introduced the Taser MPH — the first combination hand-held music player and Taser.

The player, which has a 1-GB capacity that can hold about 150 songs, is embedded in a holster that slips on your belt. Feel the need to zap someone and you can unholster the Taser, use the built-in laser pointer to aim, and blam — a couple of darts carrying 50,000 volts hits your victim.

And you don’t have to miss a beat.

I’m looking forward to the commercials.




  1. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:

    If this device sells well, the next version will synchronize the pulses of electricity to the music so the taser victim will look like he’s dancing. It’ll be so cool.

  2. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    How do you get the victim to put the earbuds in?

  3. GigG says:

    Bad link in the story.

  4. Eideard says:

    Fixed. They moved the fracking link.

  5. Ouch Ouch Sparky says:

    record the screams of your victims to play back over an over, oh the fun, enjoy-)

  6. GigG says:

    #5 No if you want to do that you need this.

    http://tinyurl.com/3ycghz

  7. Angel H. Wong says:

    “I’m looking forward to the commercials.”

    I’m looking forward to use it on someone while I listen to “Smack my bitch up” by Prodigy.

  8. the Three-Headed Cat™ says:

    For those who can’t make it past the bouncers over at CM, I shared this small bit of wit. Feel free to add to the list…

    I can’t help but wonder if the player comes preloaded with “Music to Tase Bros By”?

    Y’know, tunes to get ya in the mood, stuff like Kansas’ Another One Bites The Dust or Procol Harum’s About To Die – or maybe Roger Waters’ The Bravery of Being Out of Range.

    The possibilities are endless…

  9. Les says:

    Thats just wrong. You have a weapon, which has been proven to be potentialy deadly, then you mix it with a MP3 player which is meant to be used casualy. Bad idea.

  10. Awake says:

    Yeah right.. .I’ll stick electrodes in my ears from a device that puts out 15,000 volts. The very thought makes my head explode…

  11. hhopper says:

    I’m surprised they haven’t integrated a taser into a cell phone yet.

  12. the Three-Headed Cat™ says:

    “I’m surprised they haven’t integrated a taser into a cell phone yet.”

    Better yet, an integrated Taser/picturephone. Zap somebody, take their picture and then send ’em the picture, just to rub it in. 😛

    As they used to say on late-night TV ads, “…and the kids? They’ll love it!”

  13. cheese says:

    Is this thing a (gawd) USB device as well?

  14. Gary, the dangerous infidel says:

    #10 Awake, LOL good point, and Darwin Awards can go to anyone who didn’t think it was important to read the instruction manual very carefully on such a shocking device.

    *******************
    #8 Three-Headed Cat, I’ll add Led Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused” to your list.

    If we can take a little license with the title, I would proffer the Eagles’ “Twitchy Woman.”

    And I think it was the Beatles who sang, “Just let me hear some of that shock and roll music…”

  15. Jamie says:

    #11: hhopper
    “I’m surprised they haven’t integrated a taser into a cell phone yet.”

    They already make stun guns (not tasers) in the shape of fake cell phones.

    Problem is, a real cell/taser would be bulkier than the largest current full-keyboard/palm-type cell. Besides, they’d accidentally zap themselves when they try to fumble around and answer a call while driving.

  16. AdmFubar says:

    #13… no it is the ultimate in FIREWIRE!!!

    #10 that will be for darwin awards contest…

    #8 <>

    Bad Boys Bad Boys , whatcha gonna do?? whatcha gonna do when when i taser you!..
    Damn… these are all toooo easy!

  17. Les says:

    I know, how about adding a bottle opener to the butt of a gun. That makes as much sense.

  18. the Three-Headed Cat™ says:

    #15 – Jamie

    “Besides, they’d accidentally zap themselves when they try to fumble around and answer a call while driving.”

    I don’t get you. You say that like it’s a bad thing. 😀

  19. Li says:

    I wonder if the tazer international CEO has a six inch long handlebar mustache, just so that he can twirl it in his fingers as he comes up with this stuff.

    Perhaps they will combine this product with the flying tazer drone to make a rave where you -really- can’t stop dancing.

  20. Jamie says:

    # 18 the Three-Headed Cat™:
    “I don’t get you. You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

    It definitely is if I’m driving anywhere near them on the freeway. The latte-sipping, makeup applying, cell-phone chatting, suv-driving passive aggressive soccer-moms are dangerous enough as it is.

  21. Browning says:

    Don’t block me, bro


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