The Christianity 2.0 movement continues in South Florida, where the town of Bal Harbour received a GPS-equipped Baby Jesus statue to replace a previously stolen Baby Jesus staute. A Cincinnati lawyer donated the statue after hearing about the theft in early December.
In addition, Mary and Joseph were equipped with GPS and the entire family was encased in plexiglass to avoid future theft by godless heathens. Now Ricky Bobby can rest easy knowing that little baby Jesus is safe in his manger watchin’ the Baby Einstein videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors.
The last statue was bolted down fer cryin’ out loud! Still went missing.
Update: Yes – it was stolen, again!
And the GPS worked. The coppers caught the dummy who stole the statue – living across the street.
Thanks, SN
Nothing says Christmas like GPS.
So apparently there is no dynamite in Florida.
“So apparently there’s no dynamite in Florida.”
Har!
They should have nailed it down.
They can use those exploding dye packs like the banks use on bank robbers.
Knowing Bal Harbour intimately, I’m gonna let you folks in on a little secret; I will bet dollars to your donuts that a Jewish neighbor offended by the Nativity scene is the culprit. If apprehended (not likely), you watch and see. I love saying “I told you so!” đ
Yes, this nativity scene offends me.
Babies are NOT born with full heads of hair. And at that, the people had dark shinned and hair in what is now Israel. Also, their heads are usually slightly misshapen from the travel through the birth canal. And, newborns can not lift their legs. Finally, newborns rarely open their eyes because their faces are still swollen from the birth. This not a baby fresh from the oven.
I think this is a fraud perpetuated upon the good citizens of Bum Fuck Florida by some heathen Jewish bastard out to ruin the celebration of the birth of the christ, Hey Zeus. May his candles go out next Hanukkah.
Who’da thunk the Star of Bethlehem was a GPS Sat?
J/P=?
I’d like to say “I told you so” – but it wasn’t the same one.
The one stolen was in front of the Wellington Community Center, 90 Miles north, near West Palm Beach, by a stupid teenager who doesn’t watch the news, I betcha.
Here’s the story.
“This not a baby fresh from the oven.”
The Biblical account does not say the wise men were present at the child’s birth. It says they came to the house where they were staying. The family only spent one night in the barn, as far as we know.
Do you mock any other religions here?
“Do you mock any other religions here?” Depends. Can you hum a few bars?
As Pope Leo X said, “It has served us well, this myth of Christ.”
#10, Don,
Who the eff is talking about the âbiblicalâ account of three wise men? We were discussing a nativity scene representing the birth of what many call the Christ. At birth, he would be fresh from the oven. There is even less to substantiate the âthree wise menâ than there is the actual virgin birth of Jesus.
Also, he was not born in a barn. He was born in the stable at an inn. As was common practice 2000 years ago, the people stayed on the second floor and the animals stayed on the first. The body heat from the stable area would help warm the upper floor. If there was not enough room upstairs or the traveler could not afford it, they would stay with their pack animals for a reduced rate. It would be highly unlikely the stable would have more than donkeys with maybe the odd horse and cow. Sheep would sleep outside. Fowl were seldom kept except by the richest. So the typical nativity scene of all the various barnyard animals standing around the baby is completely false. Sheet, half those animals didn’t exist at that time.
And I am still offended by the blatantly false misrepresentation of the baby as blond, long haired, fair skinned, and several months old.
When the Buddhists, Satanists, Witches, Muslims, Jains, and / or atheists start putting up historically inaccurate shrines in the downtown area I’ll bitch about them too.