He’s made his list and checked it twice. But where, oh where, is Santa?
The satellite tracking group from the International, Space & Response (ISR) Division of Los Alamos National Laboratory again will be tracking Santa Claus’ whereabouts on Christmas Eve. To monitor Santa’s progress as he races around the world delivering presents and goodies to good children everywhere, we will be using the satellite tracking dishes in the high mountains of Los Alamos, New Mexico, as well as sensors on the FORTE satellite and the most recently launched Cibola Flight Experiment (CFE) satellite. In addition, the U.S. Air Force, with nine tracking stations around the world, will also help us monitor Santa’s travels…
We believe that Rudoph’s glowing, bright red nose puts out optical and infrared light that makes him easy to detect, allowing an optical camera on FORTE to give us a glimpse of Santa and his team. Also, the Federal Aviation Administration requires Santa to fly with a radio transponder on his sleigh, similar to what airplanes use, to ensure flight safety around the world. This transponder can be detected with the radio receiver that flies onboard both the FORTE and CFE satellites.
Have a safe and happy holiday, folks.
Maybe NORAD will be able to finally track Santa this year, send the fighters out, and shoot him down. After all, you DO know that Santa is an anagram for SATAN!
Sorry, kids, but according to unofficial reports, Santa’s sleigh strayed into NATO airspace, and was shot down just a few minutes ago. When he was ordered to identify himself, he replied with nothing but a mocking, maniacal “Ho ho ho,” so there was little choice but to shoot down his aircraft with a heat-seeking missile. Fragments from the crash site are being analyzed to determine the exact nature of Santa’s cargo and his intended targets, but early speculation is that he intended to plant “packages” of unknown contents in the homes of unsuspecting citizens around the world.
No official announcements can be made until we have a chance to interrogate Mrs. Claus, along with a group of very suspicious associates who apparently lived with the Clauses in their isolated compound at the North Pole.
isn’t this a waste of taxpayer money? i don’t think so.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Happy Festivus for the rest of us!
BLASPHEMY!
Disappointing. I was expecting to see a world map with a little blip on it labeled “Santa”, but instead, all it does is give a link every hour to a description of a country where Santa is likely to be.
i need 1 like that so i can track santa down….