I love a good rant as much as any other cranky geek. Especially – as in this instance – when I agree with it so thoroughly.
An example: like a lot of old farts, I have gradually developed a lactose intolerance over the last couple of decades. It’s measurable, verifiable. It never keeps me from enjoying the couple of pounds of mozzarella and provolone I consume every week. And it shouldn’t. There ain’t especially any lactose in cheese!
But, living in a community which leads the world in fear of chemtrails and Karma, I can especially appreciate Rayner’s rant on full-time food nazis.
We are living in the age of the food excluders. And it really, really pisses me off. Every week new, thrilling and exotic ingredients become available in Britain and every week someone announces they are intolerant to it or allergic to it; that it brings them out in hives, gives them cystitis, interferes with their energy levels or makes them grouchy. When the truth is they were, all of them, neurotic, needy pricks in the first place and what they had for dinner last night had nothing to do with it….
Where has this trend come from? My suspicion is that today’s food excluders were yesterday’s picky eaters, the tiresome little brats who, as children, spat out everything put their way with a shout of ‘I don’t like it!’ Now they have grown up but their palates haven’t. In this ego-centred age, they have been given license to come up with a bunch of excuses, wrapped in the language of pseudo science, excused by pompous and spurious claims to the moral, religious or ethical high ground, when really all they are actually saying is: ‘I still don’t like it!’…
Of course any lactose-intolerant, peanut-allergic, kosher-keeping, food-combining, coeliac vegetarians who want to debate this with me are most welcome to do so (if they’ve got the energy). One thing is certain though: we’re not going to be doing it over dinner.
#30
If you were at mortons why would you get anything but the Prime Rib?
#16. milk does NOT ‘give everyone the shits.’ people are averse to having the shits. people would not drink milk if it uniformly resulted in the shits. people would not give babies and sick people milk if it gave them the shits.
perhaps if you could prove a single one of your assertions you could have an article for the New England Journal of Medicine or the Lancet.
somehow I doubt if that’s going to happen.
#31 – nope, filet mignon.
#32 – Not familiar with the term “shits.” Do you mean “hershey squirts?”
I can only imagine this is the liquid form of “turtle head” or “brown
capping.” Inquiring minds…
#1 – Wishing this guy’s loved ones would die is a grossly inappropriate comment. I have disagreed with many people, but I stop short at wishing death upon their families.
#33
You should try the prime rib. The filet mignon may be tender, but compared to the prime rib, it’s virtually tasteless. I guess being a cat, your palate is more tuned to fruits of the sea, hmm? Or perhaps you liberally dash condiments on the filet to spruce of the taste a little.
The remainder of your post is too foul to reply to. That’s just gross.
#32
I just googled diarrhea, and every diarrhea oriented site suggests quitting the milk.
Also I know it causes diarrhea in my dog when she gets a hold of some milk. I also hear stories about cats, and the horrible mess that makes.
Finally, a cursory look at the statistics of “lactose intolerance” suggest that the people who are lactose intolerant are not the extra ordinary ones. The weird ones are the people who can drink milk without consequences.
Want an anecdote? Go down to your local sit down pizza parlor go in the bathroom and take a big sniff. Why do you think it smells like that? Shouldn’t it take at least a day to work its way through you? You will notice your fancy schmancy latte shops have the same odoriferous qualities. While curiously, McDonalds has a nice fresh smell (but only because their food causes bowel obstructions)
Perhaps you are one of the rare people who can tolerate milk, or more likely you are one of the people who have failed to associate what you put in your mouth to what comes out of your ass. I don’t know about you, but everyone else I know, milk gives them diarrhea, sure as shit.
>>I don’t know about you, but everyone else
>>I know, milk gives them diarrhea
Gosh. That’s terrible. Milk has never given me diarrhea. Of course, I don’t drink 3 gallons a day. And I don’t know anyone (other than those who proclaim lactose intolerance) on whom milk has that effect when drunk in moderation. Of course, maybe they’re just reticent to discuss their bowel habits in public.
I have basically cured my LI and my other stomach troubles with regular drinking of pure lime juice and a fibre supplement.
#37,
I am surprised we have made it this far without a reference to “two girls one cup”
Oh darn.
Hmm. Well, I personally drink about half a gallon of whole milk daily (as opposed to impersonally drinking it), having finally curbed a gallon-a-day habit since my teens, and it ain’t been easy. Far from being intolerant of lactose, I crave it. And among the adults I’ve known who drink milk, I’ve never heard anyone ever so much as hint at any effect of milk on their defecatory processes…
Coffee, now that’s a different ball of fish entirely.
…Yummy.
I’ll be sure to remember that for posterity.
[Comment deleted – Violation of Posting Guidelines. – ed.]
Knock it off, Condi, or I’ll be forced to reveal the photo I found of YOU “onlune”:
Now quit changing yer name!
#43 –
ooopps, you guys are getting bad.
No ice-cream for you.
Hey! How did the tiny urls that Condi and I posted turn into the actual linked pictures????
What the dickens is going on here??
[It’s magic. – ed.]
I’m allergic to nuts. Truth be told, nuts like MikeN, James Hill, gq, Pmitchell, Philleep, and the other Right Wing Nut Neo-Con Evangelical Conservative Republican Radiohead Shut-in crowd make me ill.
Alright, that last post was low. I shouldn’t have included Pmitchel. He’s too funny to make me ill.
>>[It’s magic. – ed.]
I think it’s a miracle. Blessed be! Can I get a hallelujah??
I heard that lactose intolerance is actually, for the most part, a natural state for adults. As a person grows from infancy, the bodies produces less and less lactase, which is the enzyme necessary to break down lactose.
There is also another form of lactose intolerance with is present at birth and is a genetic condition. A cousin of mine would get violently ill and projectile vomit if he drank milk (and this was when he was 5 years old).
I don’t have too much of a problem unless I drink more milk that usual. My wife, while she doesn’t get violently ill, does have stomach problems after even just having a little bit of milk in her cereal. She has long since switched to soy milk and has no more problems.
This guy is a douche-bag who has nothing more to do that rant about something.
Mustard, I do agree with you on the peanut allergies. I have met no one of my age (or older) who has a peanut allergy, but it does seem that a good portion of the younger generation has a problem with peanuts. It’s rather puzzling, to say the least.
Have a sister-in-law gets the koolest, most humongous welts across her face and can’t breath a lick after ingesting any of a wide variety of nuts. She doesn’t eat peanuts due (I think) to her association to nuts in general. My brother is a nut…I married her sister…she eats nuts…
Thank you o mitey gawd of the editorial persuasion !!
Those pics were so much better than the journey to the tiny url ! You realise those two (Condiment/Mustard) have serious issues ?
I have a friend whos kid is viloently allergic to peanuts. Touching one peanut with the tip of his index finger can result in death within minutes if not treated. I feel sorry for them, but…
I completely disagree with the idea that she succesfully lobbied her kids school of over one thousand students to ban peanut products forever. There is no reason to take the problems of one kid and transfer it to one thousand other kids. Her kid should wear gloves and be taught to stay away from whatever makes him sick.
She also successfully sued a rental car company because she found a rogue peanut wedged into the crevice in the back seat.
Well, “eideard”, I’m sorry you’re lactose intolerant… but you get to enjoy and put up with lactose when you would like it. My wife, two and a half years ago, became a celiac patient. At the time, only a specific blood test could detect it, and her gastrointestinal doctor refused to prescribe the test, because he “had never diagnosed a patient with celiac”. Celiac is a body’s intolerance to gluten… the protein in wheat, rye, oats and more.
Eideard, try going one day without bread, pizza, doughnuts, beer, pretzels, most cereals, pasta… shall I go on? If she does “get glutened” as we call it, she has severe back pains and may become very sick for days.
And though gluten free foods are being made, most taste, and have the texture of, cardboard.
By the way, if she does decide to eat like normal people and just throw caution to the wind… not only will she essentially never leave the bathroom, but her body loses the ability to absorb any nutrients, and has an extremely high possibility of colon cancer.
Recent numbers are 1 out of 133 people have it, but due to misdiagnoses (as Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Crohn’s Disease) researchers now believe this number has to be revised greatly in the next few years.
Maybe your intolerance for others should be revisited, or drink a nice big cup of milk.
So… by your logic my 4-year old daughter, who can go into anaphylactic shock and DIE by ingesting even traces of peanuts, is a “neurotic, needy prick”? Does the fact that we need to carry EpiPens everywhere we go to in the event that she experiences anaphylaxis make us “neurotic, needy” parents? Have you ever watched a loved one, particularly a young, helpless child, have a severe allergic reaction? Have you ever rushed someone to the emergency room for an unexpected allergic reaction to something as simple as food?
Your post is quite possibly the most ignorant thing I’ve read in quite a while and clearly you are the “prick”.
chuckst: tell your wife to try Kinnikinnick Foods. They make great gluten-free breads, donuts etc. that are way better than all the other “cardboard” stuff out there (I know – I have been gluten-intolerant for 15 years). These products are carried in a lot of grocery stores, and they also have a good mail order service.
Your quote about 1 in 133 is correct. however, gluten intolerance seems to be difficult to diagnose – the average time from initial symptoms to diagnosis is 12 years! probably because most doctors don’t know much about it, and are reluctant to diagnose anything related to food intolerances.
While I believe that there are a few people who actually have reactions to peanuts now, where were they 20, 30, 40 or more years ago? Is it tied to over protective Mothers or medical reports like on Good Morning America trying to frighten everyone about the evils of peanuts?
I also can eat what I want (although I did get sick once from eating lingua in Chihuahua Mexico) and when I want it. I read once where there are only a few people in the world that can tolerate milk and they are Scandanavian. I’m not sure if it’s true but I used to drink about 2-3 gallons a day for months straight with no ill effects.
I rarely get sick and I believe it is due to not washing my hands constantly with hand sanitizer and being exposed to numerous germs as a child.
I do feel for anyone who has a child who is truly allergic to anything. Watching a child suffer is something I never want to see.
steve-o
This generation is not only f**king up the planet but we’re also f**king up ourselves.
#6 – Welcome to the lamest generation ever.
Hey Gramps… That’s what you said about MY generation. Now who is it? Me or these new kids?
#22 – I truly believe the rise in allergies in general is due to our American obsession with cleanliness and sterilizing everything.
You might be on to something. I have long held that our obsessive sterilization is bad, and to prove it I brush my teeth once a month and never wash my hands after using the washroom. 🙂
It might be interesting to determine what percentage of those who have severe allergies belong to each of several generations ? I was diagnosed IBS and am seriously wondering if gluten could be a factor instead ? Then again, I may be hypochondriac tolerant ?
Seriously, there is an otc product called Digestive Advantage that purports to provide a bacteria for the stomach to aid digestion. Theory goes that all the drugs being given to livestock and people have caused normally occuring bacteria colonies that live in our guts and which help us digest all foods porperly are being killed off through the wholesale use of antibiotics in livestock production and to treat each and every sniffle . Dunno, I’m trying it out and it does seem to alleviate a mild intolerance to milk/lactose and the IBS symptoms of constant, low grade pain in my stomach have nearly disappeared and are definitely to a point I can deal with as in getting a decent nights rest. Btw, I was borned early 50’s. You may be wet behind them y’ears OFTLO, but you ROCK !!