If you don’t want to be sucked into a vortex of iPods, iMacs, iPhones and various other Appley products, stay at least 25 feet away from Apple Stores. That’s the conclusion Gene Munster and a group of Piper Jaffray analysts came to over the weekend after doing a little mall-based Apple Store fieldwork.

In the end, the team concluded that the stores seemed to exert a mysterious ‘gravitational pull‘ on shoppers who did venture closer than 25 feet of the entranceways. According to Munster, about 27 percent of people who came within 25 feet of the store thresholds ended up being sucked inside. And while the same force did not compel them to buy anything, Munster believes the mere fact shoppers were drawn inside may be indicative of future purchase decisions.

“The important point is this gravitational pull highlights that consumers’ future buying intentions could be shifting to Apple from PCs,” he said in a research note. “If materialized, this shift should benefit Apple in 2008 and 2009.”

Maybe they should add Tribbles to the mix?



  1. wbskeet37 says:

    Yet another example of Apple turning evil. The Starfleet never used tractor beams.

  2. GigG says:

    #1 Sure they did,

    And as far as the original story goes. I’m more likely to slow down and look at a car accident than I am to just watch cars drive down the road. It doesn’t mean I want to have a car accident.

    Apples are rare. Much like the two head goat at the circus. People like to LOOK at rare things.

  3. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    No surprise. Apple products are sexy. They aren’t actually better than competing products, or cheaper, and in the case of computers, not as useful… but damn are they ever sexy.

  4. NowYouTellMe says:

    Apple has now been ungraded to Fleet status

    Cool

    (I want one o’ them Defiant class systems)

  5. rasco says:

    It’s true. I lived two blocks from the Apple store on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. I had to pass that building to get to my doctor, the hardware store, and the video store. Every time I walked by, I was mysteriously sucked into the store. I’ve been unwillingly forced to spend around $6,000 there in the last four years.

    This explains it. Damn them!

  6. wbskeet37 says:

    #5
    Rasco, lets hope that Daley doesn’t read this or he will either start taxing it or destroy it in the name of homeland security.

  7. Cinaedh says:

    The ‘gravitational pull’ concept makes sense.

    It means people don’t want to go in but they have no choice because that’s the only place they can get their Apple stuff fixed, right?

    They just get ‘sucked in’, whether they want to go in or not. That makes sense.

  8. chuck says:

    The Apple Store tractor beam, combined with the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion field can be a powerful temptation.

    “If only you knew the power of the dark side…” – Bill Gates

  9. OvenMaster says:

    “Gravitational pull” doesn’t work on everyone. I didn’t even know there was an Apple store near me… I had to go online to find where it was. It’s just as well. I have no desire to purchase overpriced products. Are people so weak-willed that they have forgotten how to walk past a store without whipping out a credit card just to buy the latest shiny toy?

    Suckers.

  10. Cursor_ says:

    I passed by Apple so many times I don’t believe this story.

    But then I’ve never owned a pair of Birkenstocks.
    Never had a mom and dad to pay my way in life.
    Never wore a sweater over a knit short-sleeved shirt.
    Never made purchases at Starbucks.
    Don’t drive a BMW, Audi, Lexus or Benz.
    Never participated in any fads.
    Never fell for Peer pressure.
    Never wore clothing with the company’s logo on it.
    Didn’t listen to Alanis Morisette, Dave Matthews or Ben Folds Five.
    Never visited a Country Club, let alone belong to one.
    Never paid retail for computer equipment.
    Never liked Dizznee.
    Never liked wonder or any white bread.
    Never liked twinkies.
    Find Vanilla Ice Cream lacking in chocolate.
    Never bought or sold Avon or Amway (more cult behaivour)
    Not from a dogmatic religious background that reinforced conformity.
    Never conformed to social norms.
    Never had the inclination to spend money like a drunken sailor.

    Cursor_

  11. James Hill says:

    #9, #10, #11 – Good thing you’re all poor, so Steve doesn’t have to worry about you.

    Honestly, all three of you are idiots, and your posts prove it every day. Your individual cases don’t contradict the whole.

    You’ve failed. And now you’re owned.

  12. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Never
    >>Find
    >>Not
    >>Never
    >>Never

    Wow. You are truly unique amongst your race. I guess you truly ARE hip-and-happening, slightly dangerous, free-thinking, unconventional, bohemian, cutting-edge, and all-around groovy!

    I bow before your uniquitude.

  13. steelcobra says:

    Whenever I’m hanging out at the MOA or Southdale in the Twin Cities I usually end up going into the apple store to do one of two things:
    A: Laugh at the overpriced software. Halo 1 should not cost $40 anywhere now.
    B: See the new iPod models. That said, I’d love to get an iPod Touch…if it had at least 60GB of space. My 30GB iPod video is nearly full as it is…

  14. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    Yes, Apple Stores suck.

  15. steelcobra says:

    See, I don’t actually buy anything there, pedro. I’ve owned 1 iPod so far, and I got it from Newegg, not the Apple store. The Apple store is a good place to try out the new stuff, though.

  16. BdgBill says:

    I am immune to the Apple Tractor Beam. Apple products appear very gay to me. All white and shiny, very Disco.

  17. Angel H. Wong says:

    #18

    “Apple products appear very gay to me.”

    On the contrary, they’re made for metrosexuals.

  18. James Hill says:

    Pedro, don’t be pissy.

  19. OvenMaster says:

    #16: I noticed. Sorta like a turd in a punchbowl.

  20. steelcobra says:

    #22: Then please read my follow-up in post 17.

    Furthermore, while I grew up using Macs, I’ll never actually pay money for one of their systems. Building a computer is more rewarding, and it’ll run the software I want. The iPod/Touch just happens to be a nice piece of hardware, especially once the unnecessary phone components were removed. Now if they could only fix that one big problem it has, the massively deficient storage space…

  21. James Hill says:

    Maybe I should confess, I James Hill am gay. I like little boys. I like to own little boys. Then I can do what I want with them.

  22. James Hill says:

    Look: More worship from the children.

    I enjoy owning everyone around here. Too easy. Like your mom.

  23. NappyHeadedHo says:

    Yeah, nobody goes to Apple stores, they are too crowded. Now where the fuck was that Microsoft store? Oh, that’s right – they don’t have any!

  24. OmarTheAlien says:

    I like Twinkies and vanilla ice cream, and hell, I was a drunken sailor. Tractor beams, of course, are the most reliable Sci-Fi plot devices ever invented.

  25. steelcobra says:

    #29: How else are they supposed to get other ships and objects closer….

    ::Rewatches Outlaw Star for the 50th time::
    Oh yeah, either electromagnetic or piercing rockets on tethers, that’s how.


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