“Just in time for holiday shopping, the USPTO has awarded Amazon a patent for Generating Current Order Fulfillment Plans Based on Expected Future Orders, which explains how to use modeled net present value to adjust an order’s delivery date favorably or unfavorably based upon expectations that the customer will have high-profit orders in the future. So don’t blame Santa if that special gift isn’t under the tree on Christmas morning, kids – it could just be dear-old-Dad’s low NPV score!”
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It’s a good thing I never ordered anything from Amazon because based on the ‘Generating Current Order Fulfillment Plans Based on Expected Future Orders’, they would never have to deliver my order.
I always get fast shipments from them. Of course I see the UPS guy with Amazon packages more than my wife. I’m allergic to retail stores.
You need to spice up the pic a bit more, I’m sure there are plenty of drawings of Wonder Woman in rope bondage floating on the net.
You could also say they are patenting faster service for good buyers, but that wouldn’t be fun, now would it?
My point: the article does say “favorably or unfavorably”, so if someone is getting slower service, that should mean someone else is getting faster service. It’s just a queue arrangement technique, from what I gather.
But even if I try to look at it both ways, I wonder how long it will take for the first disgruntled buyer to file the first lawsuit.
How’s this Angel?
I wonder if they factor in the “Donald Trump” quotent? That’s “if you are Donald Trump, you get it yesterday, regardless”. It would also apply to Martha Stewart, George Bush, Dick Cheney, any member of the US Congress, the Pentagon, the White House staff, more state and local officials, and anyone else making more than a million a year.