“Am I just too damn white to sing this?”

Rap Lyrics Translated

Lyrics:

First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
Dummies – playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money
Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get nathan’
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
However, I stay coochied down to the socks
Rings and watch filled with rocks

TRANSLATION:

As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.

UPDATE: As astute commenter, holymoly, pointed out, the story surrounding this is fake. Seems like the entire translation is reasonable, though.



  1. mark says:

    Dayam Unka Dave, you one fly sombitch. If’n I di-int know it, I’d a mistook youse for a brudda.

  2. Greg Allen says:

    As a good bleeding heart guilt ridden white liberal, I really WANT to appreciate rap music.

    But I just hate it.

    What person in their right mind wants to hear one more thing about some 20 year old’s bling and his ‘hos? Especially blared out of a passing car?

    DISCO SUCKED
    RAP BLOWS.

    (That’s the bumper sticker I want.)

  3. tallwookie says:

    What passes for “rap” these days is pathetic. I perfer to listen to the old-skool shit – those of ya that know what that is know what i mean

    btw – that picture is CLASSIC!!!

  4. andy says:

    I don’t know what it is but something is lost in translation.

  5. D says:

    Sigh, the racism here gets old, but very typical. This kind of minstrel-show is just another legacy of slavery, and its still whites causing it. You all need to grow up and except responsibility for the injustices in this country, instead of persecution we could have peace and equality.

    D.

  6. OmarTheAlien says:

    Before I tossed the satellite one of the shows I watched was “World Music”, and no, I can’t remember what channel it came on. But it featured, as you might guess, music from around the world. That’s where I learned that even though I detest the majority of African American music (some of it ain’t bad), African music, on the other hand, is beautiful. They can do more, with less, and have such a history of pathos and tragedy, than any American wannabe “gangsta” ever thought of.

  7. hhopper says:

    Hating rap music is not racism, period.

  8. Bert says:

    #6 – I’d like to know where you see racism here. I always find it interesting how someone always finds a way to squeeze in the racism comment….no matter the topic. Seems like you’re the one who needs to grow up and move on.

    By the way, I agree with most here. The current mainstream rap industry has destroyed this once great genre of music.

  9. Blatant says:

    Elementary, my dear Watson…

  10. Uncle Dave says:

    #6: Translation:

    Rap music is being created and sold by white record companies to keep the black man down. It and the music may suck, but as long as us white devils can keep making money off of these black clowns who pretend they are helping their community, damn right we’ll keep shoveling it out. We’ll never grow up. Pass me dat bowl ‘o bling, ho! Word.

  11. NappyHeadedHo says:

    I speak fluent ebonics! Not sure why #6 thinks it is racial. He just may need a cap popped in his ass.

  12. airplane says:

    #14.

    I think it is supposed to be “that’s ok, I speak Jive….”

  13. BubbaRay says:

    #15, Barbara Billingsley?

  14. bob says:

    Bah, you guys just dont know the right stuff.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A0BmbiM53Q

  15. airplane says:

    #15 you go it….

  16. airplane says:

    er that was a response to #16… too early in the morning.

  17. Not Mr. Mustard says:

    Disco does suck. But suggesting rap blows is too much an understatement.

    It ain’t music. And it sure the hell ain’t poetry. I don’t give two poops what it is, it is bad. As an art form it demeans art the same as a pile of shit demeaned visual art.

  18. Harold says:

    I think black people need their own continent. They could call it Africa.

  19. monkey says:

    I think honkies like Harold need to die.


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