Jones Soda’s latest flavors: dirt, sweat

Ever wonder what the Seahawks’ locker room tastes like after a big game?

Apparently, Jones Soda Co. thinks Seattle NFL fans want to know. The company started taking online pre-orders Thursday for a five-pack of sodas with flavors it says reflect the hard work of professional football players.

Clare Bowles, a spokeswoman for the Seattle-based company, said the four literally named flavors — Dirt, Sports Cream, Perspiration and Natural Field Turf — are “pretty lifelike.”

“Perspiration Soda is kind of salty tasting,” she said, with a slightly higher sodium content than the average soda, with a smooth, “stinky football sock” finish.

A sip of Sports Cream Soda conjures up the experience of rubbing ointment into an aching muscle, while Natural Field Turf Soda is like “playing tackle football, and you get tackled really hard, you’re down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth,” Bowles said.

The only sweet soda of the bunch, Sweet Victory, has a berry flavor.

Each bottle features the photo of a Seattle Seahawks player. Limited quantities of the five-pack will be sold in select stores starting Oct. 1.

In May, Jones Soda announced it won a five-year contract to sell nonalcoholic beverages at the Seahawks’ home stadium, Qwest Field, beating out The Coca-Cola Co.



  1. hhopper says:

    I guess Blood, Sweat and Tears is next.

  2. Yecch!!

    I guess it may not be any worse than Fresca, which contains (I’m not making this up) glycerol ester of wood rosin.

  3. Gary Marks says:

    The five-pack is a strange idea, and I really think they should stick with the standard six-pack. Just so their fans can vicariously share the entire spectrum of the NFL experience, my suggestion for the missing sixth flavor would be “Brain Injury Soda.” It would taste like it has been aged quite a bit, and it would be somewhat more bitter than the other flavors.

  4. iGlobalWarmer (YOY) says:

    I wonder what Butterscotch, Bacon, Mint soda would taste like? Or turd soda.

  5. OmegaMan says:

    I seem to wax and wane on this one…is the USA the next version of the Roman Empire? Sure we are based off of some of the principles and surely don’t match on a lot of others..but with that said. The Romans used to sell sweat scraped off of the gladiators and sell them in various formats….go figure.

  6. Lauren the Ghoti says:

    Jeez, whatta gimmick – but in fairness, Jones really does make excellent sodas, if you can get past the price…

    I like your idea, Gary, but your proposed name lacks that, idunno, zing! How about ‘Dain Bramage’, with that unique tang of leaking cerebrospinal fluid?

  7. Angel H. Wong says:

    Yuck, ’nuff said.

  8. Balbas says:

    All this reminds me of Dang! Butterscotch Rootbeer: not quite right.

  9. tallwookie says:

    #3 – 6 pack? Jones soda comes in 4 packs.

  10. NappyHeadedHo says:

    I’m thinking of bottling and selling soup made from my girlfriends dirty underwear.

  11. Brandon Bachman says:

    I’ve got only a few words that describes my opinion really well…

    Who drinks this shit?!


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