Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (D – Omaha) filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats.
The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, “has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons.” Those threats are credible given God’s history, Chambers’ complaint says.
Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”
Chambers, who has represented Omaha, Nebraska since 1970, asked the Douglas County district court for summary judgment or to set a quick hearing date “if the Court deems such a hearing not to be a futile act.”
| Apparently Chambers was angered by a recent lawsuit that he considered frivolous and is trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody. If the court accepts this one, we’re all in trouble. |
Hmm, I smell a class action lawsuit coming.
#23, OFTLO:
I knew what you meant, I just took the opportunity to show some other cool things this guy has done! đ
#30, paperweight:
Would you be able to provide a name of the “neutral public policy group” that you speak of? And also provide a reference for their “comments” about Ernie Chambers?
You do realize that his “poorest [district] in the state” has overwhelmingly reelected Chambers for over 30 years? You also realize that his district has tried to rename a city park within the district in Chambers’ honor? And you do realize that the–predominantly white–city council has repeatedly denied their request?
You would appear to be one of the numerous white people in Nebraska who are simply frightened by an articulate and intelligent black man.
>>Would you be able to provide a name of the âneutral public
>>policy groupâ that you speak of?
Don’t hold your breath.
#12, Scott, #21, natefrog, do not mess with god’s lawyers! The waters shall be upon thee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ_aYBbx8nM
What, you expected the Vatican?? (Ok, lame joke shail smite m
#16. Likely, if god does not show up for court, it will enter a default judgment against him and, if god violates the injunction, god can be cited for contempt of court.
God is everywhere, except when you are trying to serve him with papers …
If he wins, I’m suing for false advertising (bible), fraud (my eyes were never very good, sticky heart valve, baldness etc.) and criminal negligence for not stopping the accidental death of innocent children.
… just for starters.
As long as they don’t sue the Flying Spaghetti Monster, all is good.
(And hope they don’t even think about suing Cthulhu.)
Mr. Chambers filed this suit to protest what he considers a frivolous suit. A victim of an alleged sexual assault is suing a judge for barring the words “rape”, “victim”, and “sexual assault” in the trial of her accused perpetrator. She faced contempt of court if she mentioned certain words in her testimony.
While I don’t agree with his opinion that this is such a frivolous suit, I respect and admire Mr. Chambers’ for his years of service and keeping the “good ole boys” in the Unicameral in line. He does an excellent job of representing his district.
#5 “Service of the papers are going to be kind of tough.”
Not really – the summons are served to God’s franchises / agents – which means every church and person claiming to have direct connections to God and his word.
The Pope – Every Catholic knows that God gave the Pope power of attorney to administer His holy affairs – Eating meat on Friday used to be a mortal sin – forget about e-coli in your hot dog that’s only the shits for a while but a hot-dog on Friday could mean eternity in the shits…well that eternal law was overturned.
If all these Bible thumpers (which the US has no shortage of) can be held accountable for all of God’s word E.G. Pat Robertson, this is the first step for a better world.
I thank God everyday the China has strict laws preventing the spread of all the Pat Robertson’s and other such rabid ‘missionary’ religions. I guess China has seen enough of what happens with the spread of such rubbish – E.G. the US and Creationism, Middle East etc.
Cheers
#8 – OhForTheLoveOf – Allah and God are the same god⌠Islam and Christianity are essentially the same thing with different props and window dressing.
If you accept that Allah, who sent Muhammed (peace be upon him) as the last profit, is the only true God then Islam and the God whose son was Jesus are not the same God because Allah does not have any children and does not have a holy spirit.
If you accept that the Lord God is your savior because his only son came down from heaven, was crucified, died and was buried on the third day rose again, and that he will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, then Allah is not the same God because Muhammad (peace be upon him) came after Jesus and Jesus’ dad said that there was going to be no other profits after him until the end of time.
If you reckon that both religious are just stories, then the suggestion that Allah and Jesus’ Dad are one in the same is like saying that Harry Potter and Merlin are one and the same because they are both magicians and both come out of similar literary tradition.
I suppose if you take the view that all gods are just facets of the true God, then you could argue that God and Allah are the same god differently dressed, but then so is Shiva, Thor, Apollo, Dianna, and all over gods.
Personally, I think the best bet would be to sue the god’s individually. If they turn out to be one and the same it should change the amount of time served or compensation paid out. My biggest worry is what we are going to do if any number of the gods decided to counter sue us….
OK,
IF he wins, Do I have a case also??
AND can I get any money for it?
I mean the Pain and suffering Iv had to deal with in my life should be worth something…
Between being born with 2 types of epilepsy, Legs backwards, the depression, angst and pain are killing me. forget being on Phenobarbital and delantin(god i love spell checkers trying to figure out what I wrote)… I would settle out of court if he just Fixed 1-2 things.
oh my god, god can’t deal with it
All of you people are going to have a lot of egg on your face if He actually does show up in court.
I notice no-one, not even the apparently religious people, are considering that possibility.
For those who corrected me, I stand corrected. God is specifically mentioned in the Declaration of Independence but not specifically in the Constitution.
I’d still like to have a beer with this guy. I’ve got a list of potential fun lawsuits but I never though of this one.
What I find funny is how politicians can deny God’s existence all over the place and then re-introduce Him when they need someone to blame. Also, to someone’s previous comment. Islam and Christianity are completely NOT the same. While there may be some similarities between them, you cannot call them the same. It’s like calling you the same as chimpanzee because you share 97% of the same genetic material. They’re just not equal!
ok. ok. ok. I’ll take the case. I’ll represent God in the case Ernie Chambers vs God. As soon as I receive the retainer, I will file to suppress the evidence because it was obtained without warrant. My experts will refute Mr. Chamberâs ability to proceed by mental defect and bad hair cut. While God agrees with Mr. Chamberâs choice of footwear (sandals), his tie-dye tee-shirt is blaspheme.
#35 – BubbaRay,
Funny video. I think that guy should have stuck to the subway ads.
#39 – huskergrrl,
You and many others are mistaking Chamber’s purpose for the suit. He is AGAINST attempts to limit frivolous lawsuits. He believes anyone has the right to sue for anything and that right must be protected.
As I stated above, in post #10, I am as surprised as anyone, but Fox Snooze seems to have the best coverage on why he is doing this.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297121,00.html
While Chambers may have been trying to make a point about “frivolous” lawsuits or unduly restrictive court procedures, it seems pretty obvious that he had another point. It would appear that he wanted to remind people that the god described in the Holy Bible is actually the inventor of terrorism, and that this god legitimized terrorism as a tool for doing his holy will (a point I also make whenever opportunity knocks).
For instance, when God killed tens of thousands of Egyptian children in order to coerce the Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt, that was a lot like blowing up a nursery school to convince the government to release political prisoners. God’s acts of terrorism have resulted in far more death to innocents than what happened at the twin towers in New York. The amount of legislative time Chambers used up to remind us of the true origin of terrorism was time well spent, IMO.
P.S. For pure humor, this was a great twist on a classic theological conundrum:
#29 cheese wrote… “Can god make a ‘discovery document’ so big even HE cannot lift it?” đ
More on the issue from the Lincoln JournalStar…
And a quite humorous political cartoon on the matter.
#41, Ben, “My biggest worry is what we are going to do if any number of the gods decided to counter sue usâŚ.”
You actually worry about that? I’ll bet you any amount you care to choose that he won’t show… because he can’t show… because he doesn’t exist.
What kind of god would stand by and let someone’s head be sawed off in his name? I wouldn’t put my pet hamster in the same cage as my pet cat and just watch while the cat rips him apart. Despite what you say (which made sense), Muslims believe that Allah is the same god as Godjesusholyspirit, or God for short.
#44, Cinaedh, give your head a shake. When it comes right down to it, many Christians don’t actually believe in God. They only say they do to “fit in” with the company they keep or be either pestered or shunned. All the clues are there that he doesn’t … can’t … exist, and all the la-la-la’s with you hands over your ears and your eyes closed wont change that fact.
#46 – What I find funny is how politicians can deny Godâs existence all over the place and then re-introduce Him when they need someone to blame
What I find funny is the flavor of the Kool-Aid you are drinking that makes you think that politicians are denying God’s existence.
Name all the atheist politicians…
#41 – Gods, like words, have etymologies. All the god myths born in the Mid-East trace back to common origin myths…
The details of who begat who and why sons died and which bushes burned are entirely window dressing. Christians, Muslims, and Jews all worship the same god… they just made up slightly differeing horror myths to scare their children with.
=========================
Atheism cures religious terrorism.
#49 – Gary Marks,
I’m with you 99%. Minor differences in my opinions are:
1) Actually, the Hebrew slaves were freed by a Persian king who simply didn’t believe in slavery.
2) God was ALSO responsible for the twin towers in NYC on 9/11. So, no reason to compare the two, just add them together.
People say “God bless America”. I say, “god has already blessed America. Now let’s hope he leaves us the fuck alone for a while.”
>>Atheism cures religious terrorism.
All hail Josef Stalin. All hail Pol Pot. All hail Chairman Mao.
This guy must have read an obscure sci-fi story I saw in the 70s — where it was fashionable to sue God for (what else?) Acts of God. God was always a no-show in court, so since “God made man in his own image,” random people were pulled in off the street to stand in for him, and were sued out of whatever they had.
Eventually a law was passed that said that in addition to jury duty, every citizen had to stand for “liability duty” and risked losing everything they had to some jerk who was suing god.
Lawyers loved the story. Makes your skin crawl, doesn’t it?
“It’s all God’s fault”
“It’s all Bush’s fault”
Sounds like maybe Bush is God.
(sorry – just having fun. Hope nobody had a wetfart over that. đ )
#55 – My point stands.
Those guys didn’t commit religious terrorism… and those are the only three guys in history you can dig up who were evil and unrelatedly atheist… whereas history is rife with murderous Xians who were murderous exactly because they were Xians.
#58 – Not to mention of course all the other religions, and most notably in recent times, murderous Muslims.
#59 – I should specify, murderous Saudi Arabian Nations who were also Muslims and very much NOT Iraqis.