Gates in better times

Microsoft Reveals Windows Vista SP1 Will Install XP

In response to customer demands Microsoft announced that instead of patching bugs and improving features of Windows Vista in the next service pack release, they would just install XP.

“We’re focused on giving the customer what they want, and want they want is to just go back to XP,” said Microsoft Development Chief Greg Elston.

Elston said not only will the move improve customer satisfaction with Vista, but will allow the company to focus resources on the next operating system instead of the flailing Vista. “We can move people off of Vista development now, and move them to Windows 7 development,” said Elston. “That should allow us to only delay Windows 7 by thirteen months past its scheduled date instead of the planned eighteen.”

Customers have had many complaints about Vista, so it wasn’t surprising the response to the move was mostly positive. “Ever since I install Vista I’ve wanted to go back to XP,” said Trey Sportia. “I’m glad Microsoft has given me an easy downgrade path.”

Some customers complained about paying for Vista when all they’ll end up with is XP which they had already. Elston said that “if people read the license agreement they’ll see this is perfectly within our rights. Anyway, we’re calling it Vista XP, so it is new in a way.”

Elston also added that if people complain too much they’ll just revert to Windows ME.

Wishful thinking, eh? Well except for the ME part.



  1. Red says:

    Interesting find, but once you click on the “About” page of bbspot, you get this:

    Called “the world’s greatest tech humour site” by The Register, BBspot creates entertainment for the geekier side of the world. BBspot produces a variety of features like fake news stories satirizing the tech and political worlds, the BBspot Mailbag which pokes fun at the Believers (people who believe our fake news) and much more. BBspot was started by Brian Briggs in April of 2000 as a hobby to bring some fun to the web, but grew to the point where Brian “quit his day job” and made the site his full-time occupation in January of 2003.

  2. Larry Laird says:

    You didn’t immediately understand that this was satire?

  3. Pierre says:

    Humerous – yes. But personally I would not mind. Vista has too many problems.

  4. Mark Derail says:

    Well written. Now to get a legitimate news agency to publish it, then syndicated, then republished by a major automatically.

    Like what happens with some Onion stories every now and then.

  5. Les says:

    Oh if this were only true….

  6. Floyd says:

    #6: XP just works.

    Vista doesn’t work, for a lot of systems, because MS didn’t design it for backward compatibility. Vista won’t even run on my laptop for instance, because the video chip on the motherboard isn’t “modern enough” according to Microsoft’s compatibility checker.

    Many programs that worked fine on older versions of Windows won’t run on Vista. When one of them is a program developed in house by a company for its own use, guess which company isn’t going to upgrade to Vista.

    And then, there’s the fact that the Vista user interface steals so much processor time from the task at hand…do we really need semi transparent windows on our computers?

  7. xwing71 says:

    Ah, if this were only true. It would actually make everyone I know VERY happy.

  8. JoaoPT says:

    At this point the headline should be:

    “Vista SP1 changes vista into OSX with a vistalike desktop. This Pack is already integrated with Parallels, so for the end user the fuss will be minimal. Sources said that the average user wouldn’t even notice the change, except that thing would start to “Just Work.””
    “In another unrelated press release, Microsoft said it will buy all available stock of Apple Inc. Sources said that Jobs would still be CEO, but not interim CEO.”

  9. Les says:

    #6 When I upgraded to Vista, It deleted some of my DOS programs (yes I still have them, nobody has made a better program than the DOS one.) Then I couldn’t play some of the games I played, some are less than a year or so old. I tried the compatibility program, which is really an emulator, but it didn’t work, though I will say it could be operator error. It also caused my laptop to heat up more, though it is a “Capable” laptop. For me it was too much hassle for the upgrade.

  10. Hey..I spotted it as a gag from the headline

  11. cheese says:

    April Fools! Um, wait a minute, let me check the calendar…. !

  12. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    Ataru…MS isn’t making any money selling Vista on Dells and laptops. They make money when corporations upgrade and pay through the nose for some productivity improvements a new OS offers. While Vista may be fine in your home, and it’s OK in ours, the training costs to teach thousands of employees where to find stuff they already use in XP are outrageous. Especially when you consider that Vista doesn’t offer corporations any meaningful financial advantages.

    Pay to buy it, pay to train employees how to do the same things in a different way, pay to buy machines that can run the damn thing, with the added feature that there’s no return on this massive investment. Easy decision for most corporations.

    Every day Vista is looking more like Windows Me.

  13. MikeN says:

    I’m going to go out and buy a new laptop now, since I can upgrade to XP.

  14. Stu Mulne says:

    I’ve got a retail copy of XP that’ll go on my next purchase….

    I’ve used Vista….

    Ain’t bad, but un-necessarily confusing v.s. XP when I tried to help a friend. And a serious time sink for the processor.

    I’ll eventually have to install it on something to keep ahead of my clients, but it probably won’t run on any of my junkers.

    Windows ME all over again….

    I can live without it….

    (And, yes, I figured out that the article was a joke. Unfortunately….)

    Regards,

  15. Brandon Bachman says:

    If Windows ME led into Windows XP, will Windows 7 be better than Windows Vista? Only makes sense following the pattern…

  16. tcc3 says:

    Bad analogy. Me was an evolutionary dead end. XP was a descendant of 2000.

  17. Mr. Fusion says:

    Some people just don’t know funny.

  18. Geoffrey Knobl says:

    Do you really need a transparent window? No. Can you get it without installing Vista and in XP? Yes. Checkout Desktop X, Windowblinds, etc. You can almost have Vista without the hassle. You do have to pay. But if you don’t want to pay, just install some version of Linux and upgrade to the nice GUI most versions support now. Even works on most older graphics cards too.

    Vista just isn’t very good, nor close to what was promised. It’s old technology reused except where DRM is needed, then it’s new technology that will either be broken or won’t let you do what you NEED (not only want) and violates your rights.

    Vista: Microsoft’s self-made doom.

  19. LDS! says:

    I for one will not make my negative comments on this forum, however I would like to say that I am so glad to hear this news !!

    I have been teaching adults (ages 40 to 85) how to use WINDOWS XP for three years, some of them are repeat students in their 2nd and 3rd year learning and who are finally getting it!!!

    And some of them will be replacing their PC’s soon.

    So, imagine my bewilderment when VISTA came on the scene and being faced with learning the quirks and nuances of a new operating system…

    all I can say is THANK YOU,THANK YOU, THANK YOU Microsoft!!

    for listening to the PEOPLE!

  20. Lauren the Ghoti says:

    NOW I get it…

    Vista is actually ‘Windows ME Too’.

    Or is it ‘Windows Who, ME’?

    Whatever it is, XP users can now understand that the way they look at Vista is the way we Mac users look at Windows… 😉

  21. Vince says:

    #4 Well written. Now to get a legitimate news agency to publish it, then syndicated, then republished by a major automatically.

    Like what happens with some Onion stories every now and then.

    Comment by Mark Derail — 9/18/2007 @ 4:33 am

    Having been disenchanted with the likes of Reuters and AP for over 40 years (I quit expecting anything close to truth from any of the major media on anything but sports scores… which I don’t read…) Please, define ‘legitimate news agency’. If you start with any of them, you therefore believe in NY and LA Times as newspapers (olde definition, not modern one, please)

  22. mark says:

    14. “Pay to buy it, pay to train employees how to do the same things in a different way, pay to buy machines that can run the damn thing, with the added feature that there’s no return on this massive investment. Easy decision for most corporations. ”

    Oh my God, change ahhhhhhhhhhh!

    Wow, you must have some stupid end users. Christ, the applications launch almost exactly the same effen way. Maybe you should hire some people with a brain.

  23. GregA says:

    #24,

    I don’t know, but between the new history launcher on the start menu and the integrated search, I am having no problems at all.

    Although, I have to agree, It would probably be a bad idea to install it on a 2 year old computer. I would go out and get one of the new fancy $500 computers instead. Like this one: http://tinyurl.com/37pazv Although if you were a gamer you would probably want to add a gig of ram.

  24. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    Mark (24), you clearly have no idea of which you write.

  25. Mike Strong says:

    This just proves how well expectations can play you. Very funny.

    I began to wonder by halfway through but the last paragraph I loved, about too many complaints and the thing reverts to ME. Ha!

    If Vista was well regarded it probably wouldn’t have gotten me for as far into the article as it did. I would have been quizzical (as in “What?” this hurts my head) rather than credulous (as in “Finally!”).

  26. Angel H. Wong says:

    #22

    Actually, Vista reminds me of XP when it was first launched, with all the compatibility issues, the lack of harware support, the huge resource hog, etc. In fact, people were saying that the “XP” meant “Xtra Problems.”

    So eventually when AMD and Intel settle for a comfy core configuration and 2 GB ram becomes average, then the OS will become stable enough and the consumer’s short attention span will center onto other things.

  27. mark says:

    26. Sure, whatever. It took my 79 year old father about 10 minutes to pick it up.

  28. GregA says:

    #29,

    The places I have introduced it, in the enterprise, it has been a non event. Also the response by end users to the Aero interface has been overwhelmingly positive. Usually I get a “That looks really neat!” then they launch exchage or the internet and go about their business.

    On the otherhand, if you were cheap, and built your business on Samba instead of windows servers, OMG, you are so screwed right now.

  29. mark says:

    30. GregA- “The places I have introduced it, in the enterprise, it has been a non event.”

    Yes, exactly. While I dont “love” any OS, once people get over their fear of change, its just not a big deal. I dont care what people use, but its not a difficult transition by any stretch of the imagination.

  30. ECA says:

    1.
    ANY computer can do the basics…Typing letters, spread sheets, playing solitaire…They can do ALOT of things without a power or processing increase. Want more speed in printing, GET A BETTER PRINTER. you dont need to get a FASTER computer.

    2.
    WHY make a faster computer??
    GAMES, Desktop publishing(maybe), CAD and 3D design. anything I miss?
    So what does Vista GIVE??
    DX 10..
    DX10 does WHAT? sound graphics and network…
    What ELSE do you get??
    Beside, a OS that takes MORE ram, MORE HD space, and is a HOG for resources??


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