NASA’s version

The Indian government has withdrawn a controversial report submitted in court earlier this week which questioned the existence of the Hindu god Ram. The report was presented to the Supreme Court on Wednesday in connection with a case against a proposed shipping canal project between India and Sri Lanka.

Hindu hardliners say the project will destroy what they say is a bridge built by Ram and his army of monkeys.

Scientists and archaeologists say the Ram Setu (Lord Ram’s bridge) – or Adam’s Bridge as it is sometimes called – is a natural formation of sand and stones.

Folks who think India will challenge China for economic and political leadership in the region should step back and look at how theocratic politics in India influences critical decisions.

Hindu Version

In the last two days, the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) has launched a scathing attack on the government for questioning the “faith of the millions”.

Worried about the adverse reaction from the majority Hindu population of the country, the Congress Party-led government has now done a U-turn and withdrawn the statement submitted in court.

How is the Indian government dealing with the controversy? Well, they started by suspending the archaeologists who drafted the report.



  1. Shubee says:

    Canal project halted by Hindu God and his army of monkeys.

    I have to admit, that’s a great title.

  2. Mister Mustard says:

    Jeez. If I ever want to find some articles hatemongering against those who believe, I fire up dvorak dot org slash blog ASAP.

    Let’s see some articles on how the United States caved (or steamrollered over) those silly native Americans and their incessant whining about destruction of holy grounds, burial grounds, etc. What god do they know, other than firewater? Nothing, NOTHING must ever get in the way of our Exalted Commercial Overlords. All hail the mighty dollar (or rupee)!

    Sheesh.

    And the archaeologists were suspended “because they had ignored a revision [Ms Soni] had made to the affidavit”, not because they questioned the existence of Ram and his monkeys.

  3. Ben Waymark says:

    Its nice to know that there is something, somewhere, that is still sacred and doesn’t succumb to the every expanding needs of commerce!

    I’ve heard in Iceland, always a very sensible country, that they often divert roads and runways away from fairies mounds for similar reasons….

  4. Rich says:

    Thank God! (take your pick). Now we must start some similar nonsense in China (or develop whatever is already there). Could we ship them our radical Islammists, Jews and Christians maybe? That would be a twofer- corrupt and cripple our economic rivals and purge our nation at the same time!

  5. Mister Mustard says:

    >>and purge our nation at the same time!

    Is that your goal, Richie? To purge “your” nation of all those who believe differently than you do? Perhaps you should read some of the writings of your fellow non-believer, Joey Stalin http://tinyurl.com/2wv8yk … he could probably give you some tips.

    Tsk.

  6. Rob R says:

    Actually, it’s the monkeys. They’ve got a very good union and they are looking for a piece of the reconstruction deal.

  7. Lauren the Ghoti says:

    I like your idea, Rich. Concentrate the credulous peasants where they can bask in the backwardness of their faith(s) and leave modern, rational civilization to it’s godless activities, such as actually dealing with reality, doing intelligent things to make human lives longer and better…

    They can have all the sacred burial grounds, MonkeyBuilt™ bridges, holy temples, and other sundry credulous peasant idiocies and superstitions their little hearts desire. Given time and isolation, their cultures will, being founded on the belief systems of the least-intelligent majority, devolve and regress, reversing the course of human development for themselves only, leaving the rest of us who rely on the most-intelligent minority – who have always been the deliverers of progress – to continue to maximize human potential and minimize human suffering without the “benefit” of spirits, voodoo and fairies.

  8. JimR says:

    Apparently there are other more costly routes that wouldn’t affect the natural bridge. The increased cost of construction, inconvenience and additional fuel and transportation costs for another route should be no problem for such a rich country of such high standards of living.

    Instead of criticizing the Hindu’s we should send our best regards and praises to the god Ram for such an excellent accomplishment of structural engineering while still maintaining the “natural” look and stress that we look forward to more such great works.

  9. Mister Mustard says:

    >>I like your idea, Rich.

    Hey, ethnic and religious cleansing! Kewl You two should form a duocracy, and purge all those who don’t think the way you do from “your” nation.

    >>doing intelligent things to make human lives longer and better…

    Is that what you call being a gigolo and a hatemonger? “making human lives longer and better”? You should put down the $6 mocachino latté frappacinos, and become a politician.

  10. zn2336 says:

    Very nice monkeys.

  11. moss says:

    Every ignorant git like the Mustard Monkey King will continue to vote for their fave pharisee – just like they did for Bush. Just keep the religious phrase-mongering going and True Believers will line up like the lemmings they are.

  12. moss says:

    Oh, Ben – the good folk of Iceland also know that gullible tourists from the UK and GOUSA will pay extra to tour around the bloody fairy mounds, as well.

    I’ll be watching for you in the next photo of drooling fans steaming the window of a bakery with a fried cheese Jesus in the window.

  13. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Every ignorant git like the Mustard Monkey King will continue to
    >>vote for their fave pharisee – just like they did for Bush.

    You think I voted for Bush? Christ, rolling stone, you’re lucky we don’t have “intelligence cleansing” in the US; you’d be first in line for the ovens.

    Are you really as much of a dummy as you appear, or are you just pulling our puds?

  14. Mister Mustard says:

    >>I’ll be watching for you in the next photo of drooling fans steaming
    >>the window of a bakery with a fried cheese Jesus in the window.

    I really hope you’re a Republican, fuzzy boy. If you are a “liberal”, I’m ashamed. Deeply ashamed. Your kind of hatemongering doesn’t go over very well on this side of the fence.

  15. bill says:

    There is much more than to this than you could ever imagine…

    I think this explains it all!

    http://tinyurl.com/3a3zl7

  16. iGlobalWarmer (YOY) says:

    This is no different than any other case where one group is trying to force their religion on everyone else.

    Believe in engineer monkeys – fine.
    Stop progress because of engineer monkeys – not fine.

    Don’t eat meat – fine
    Try to stop everyone from eating meat – not fine

    Practice celibacy – fine
    Try and make everyone practice celibacy – incredibly not fine

    Buy a hybrid – fine
    Artifically raise taxes, etc to “encourage” everyone to buy a hybrid – not fine

    Freedom to believe and freedom to force your beliefs on others are two different things.

    Religion is great as long as you don’t let it dictate your public daily life.

  17. me says:

    I have to thank India. It helped confirm my atheism.

    The first time I heard the term Fundamentalist Hindu my brain spun out of control trying to get a grasp of the concept. It has never let a thought of a god creep back in since.

    Thanks you army of monkeys!

  18. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Buy a hybrid – fine ** Artifically raise taxes, etc to “encourage”
    >>everyone to buy a hybrid – not fine

    No, let’s just all buy Hummers and Aston Martins, and we can go to war every 10 years over middle-eastern oil.

    Overlord Cheney and his Energy Cabal thank you for your efforts.

  19. Mister Mustard says:

    >>It has never let a thought of a god creep back in since.

    Excellent! A completely closed mind. You’ve learned your lessons well, Grasshopper.

    >>I have to thank India.

    You and Alanis Morissette. You pop-music junky, you!

  20. BubbaRay says:

    #9, Mr. Mustard, you know I respect your faith, but I’ve got to wonder — when there are so many starving people in India and so many cows, why does religion keep the poor and hungry so poor and hungry?

    Each to his own religion, faith and beliefs but when you’re surrounded by food and can’t eat because of religious beliefs, that just seems weird to me. OTOH, cannibalism seems a little harsh also, but under extreme circumstances, I can imagine wanting to live more than my respect for the dead.

    What a strange world in which we live. Just for some weekend fun, here’s a link to tours of our wonderful planet.

    http://tinyurl.com/2z7ulg

  21. Lauren the Ghoti says:

    If intellegent, informed recognition of primitive, irrational, ignorant superstition as being primitive, irrational, ignorant superstition is what you consider “a completely closed mind”, you and your army of filthy minkeys need to go back to school… 😉

  22. Lauren the Ghoti says:

    Opposed Confabulation Monkey? Somewhere, Alanis’ ears are turning red (and furry?)

  23. god says:

    I see where the army of monkeys has gotten to. All the god-fearing folk who wouldn’t bat an eye over the death of someone belonging to a furrin’ religion, who certainly haven’t uttered a single word on behalf of the poor buggers living on less than a rupee a day – are marching to Jericho to defend some other hustler’s idea of profitable superstition because to do otherwise might hinder their own priests and politicians.

    Laughable. Pitiful. The sort of hypocrites you’d expect to be praying together for someone’s salvation – instead of actually helping them.

  24. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Each to his own religion, faith and beliefs but when you’re
    >>surrounded by food and can’t eat because of religious beliefs.

    Well, the not eating cows thing I don’t get, Mr. Ray. However, one might paraphrase the question in a similar way: “Why, when we are surrounded by obscene wealth and are spending $2,000,000,000.00/wk on a useless war, do 50,000 in the US have no health insurance, schools have no books, and childrent are going to bed hungry?”

    I never got the impression that India’s domestic and foreign policy was hamstrung by religious fanatics. So, just as they might re-route a highway here to avoid digging up a Native American burial ground, maybe the Indians (the Indian ones) will re-route their bridge in honor of something that seems to be an important religious icon for most of their citizens. Or not.

    Seems like a little too much protest when a proposed alteration in some highway project in India is described as “primitive, irrational, ignorant superstition”, and any of the proposers are described as “filthy monkeys” and told to go back to school.

    I’m not so concerned about the surveyors’ plans for the bridge as I am by the immediate popping up of the multitude of “if it has anything to do with religious belief it must be fucked up, and should be exterminated” commentators.

    Hatemongering, even when perpetrated by the wild and crazy, unconventional, free-thinking, groovy, hip-and-happening set, is never a good thing.

  25. Mister Mustard says:

    Woops. I meant fifty MILLION in the US have no health insurance…

  26. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Opposed Confabulation Monkey?

    You gotta work on your pop music cred, Fish Finger. I thought gigolos were good at that stuff? Or was that gay people?

    http://tinyurl.com/34whnf

  27. JimR says:

    #24, Mr. Muster…”Well, the not eating cows thing I don’t get, Mr. Ray. However, one might paraphrase the question in a similar way: “Why, when we are surrounded by obscene wealth and are spending $2,000,000,000.00/wk on a useless war, do 50,000 in the US have no health insurance, schools have no books, and childrent are going to bed hungry?”

    Well once again you can blame the religious fanatics of the USA, Mr. Muster.

  28. Gary Marks says:

    Ram is the original name of this Hindu god, but he’s more commonly referred to these days as Sdram. He is not to be trifled with, I assure you. Failure to serve Sdram may result in glitches, random freezing, and blue screens of agonizing death.

    A call to one of the high priests or priestesses at customer support may serve as a conduit to this powerful god, and after a quick ritual, your computer’s good health may be restored. This is the primary reason why tech support has often been outsourced to India.

    Ignore the god Sdram at your own peril !!!

  29. JimR says:

    The mention of obscene wealth always makes me think of the the Catholic Pope of Vatican City, for some reason. All that wealth socked away, invested in the stock market, gold real estate etc., and STILL begging for donations. Is it bigotry and hatred to say that Mr. Muster?

  30. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Well once again you can blame the religious fanatics of the
    >>USA, Mr. Muster.

    Only if you consider “greed” to be a religion. President Cheney’s Energy Cabal doesn’t give a fuck if you worship the ring around the toilet bowl, as long as they get their money. Money money money money. Money.


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