This sounds like something from the Onion. So, how many of you would sign up for this?
Man endures thumb surgery to better enable iPhone use
The North Denver News reports that Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae, Colorado recently underwent “whittling” thumb surgery to better enable him to use the iPhone.
Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as “whittling.”
“From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses,” Martel tells reporter James Bently. “Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it’s saving me in frustration – that’s priceless.”
THIS IS SAD
Reminds me of a guy on the electric guitar forum who grew and trimmed his right thumbnail into an actual pick shape. Just a LITTLE weird…
If true, he needs help: It’s not that hard to tap on, even with fat thumbs.
this is definitely an onion article, the quotation reads like every other onion
I think it’s a hoax. Doesn’t anyone think it’s weird that the surgeon’s name appears nowhere on the internet but in the article?
*rolling eyes*
I’ve always wanted a narrower tongue. So more power to him.
But he simply could have had pea sized nubs inserted under his skin to give him a sort of built in stylus.
Mac fanboi’s will do anything.
Windows users are smarter, but still dumb.
Maybe this is what I need to do to my penis, so that it will finally fit into those fandangled condoms.
In the study of many cults, stories like this are not uncommon.
Cheers
If this is true, the guy is a complete idiot. I think he should get the BubbaRayDipDork Moron Award.
Why does story this reek of onion?
Someone “whittled” his brain a loooong time ago.
Let me guess… he was first in line at the local Apple store also.
…and you actually think this is ridiculous – but women having plastic bags of silicone goo stuck under their skin is OK, right?
Puh-leeeze.
Isn’t this like the Grimm version of “Cinderella”? Where they cut of the heels to fit the glass shoe?
#11,
It might help if you took the condom out of the wrapper first.
#16,
Hey, they give me a place to put those phony $20 bills in the titty bars.
The problem with the iphone is that your natural inclination, based on the way you hold the phone, is to type with your thumb, which is virtually impossible for an average male. Once you realize you need to use your finger, it’s all good.
#18 – We didn’t need any more proof you’re a loser, but thanks anyway.
#19 – Personally, I switch back and forth between my thumbs and index finger… just like I did with other smartphones.
Bonnie Brae is an old subdivision in Denver. It is most famous for the Bonnie Brae Tavern. a pizza joint, where I suspect this was written.
#20, It might have helped if your father had taken the condom out of the wrapper first.