Here’s the deal. You’ve been kidnapped by a wealthy, but sick and twisted nutbag who offers you a choice before he kills you.

You may dine on the greatest meal you’ve ever had prepared by the top chefs in the world. Even top gourmet writers have never had a meal so magnificently delicious. $10,000 bottle of the best wine ever made? No problem. Obviously, this last meal is damn the calories!

OR

Sex with the hottest man or woman you could possibly imagine. You would have your choice of partner from a long list of candidates. Tall, short, fat, skinny, big feet, big… other things, and so on. Whatever floats your boat. Not only does this person meet your visual desires, but will do whatever you want to and with you before the ax falls.

And no, you can’t eat the meal off the stomach of the sexual plaything. So, which will you choose, buddy? The great debate has always been, food or sex? Which is better? It’s now or never…



  1. caa says:

    I want skull fuck the nutbag, then leave a nice cleveland steamer on them.

  2. TJGeezer says:

    I saw this cute little sheep out in the field this morning. You think she’d be available?

  3. len says:

    Hmm, let’s see….
    Wine or…
    Scarlett Johansson or
    Kate Beckinsale or
    Jessical Alba or
    Halle Berry or
    Adriana Lima or
    Kiran Chetry or
    Charlize Theron or…

    ….have I made my point?

  4. Woody says:

    Sick!
    I’d tell the sick and twisted nutbag I wanted to do him in the butt, then before he kill me I’d tell him I had AIDS.

  5. Jeff says:

    I just love “abstract” thought experiments.

  6. Nth of the 49th says:

    Hrrumph.

    The way things are going for me I’d settle for a good nights sleep without getting up every hour to piss before he offed me.

  7. I’d take the sex. I don’t think I could enjoy the mail knowing I was going to die, and I wouldn’t enjoy eating it alone that much anyway. If I could enjoy it with the person of my choice that might make a difference. At least I know the sex would be good and I could be with the person that I wanted to, and the fantasic sex would help take my mind off of what’s coming, no pun intended.

  8. ECA says:

    Lets change the question abit…
    you are at home Alone…
    your choice…
    Sex with the first person that comes threw the door
    Or
    Food?

  9. Man of Leisure says:

    Masturbate thinking of the Virgin Mary and just before I am going to ejaculate I’d picture myself piercing Jesus’ side on the crucifix. And at the moment of orgasm I’ll scream, “Oh my God”. Just before I’m killed I’ll ask the Holy Spirit for forgiveness and return to Heaven where I came from.

  10. OvenMaster says:

    #41: You’re gonna need asbestos shorts where you’re goin’ with thoughts like that! LOLOL

  11. doug says:

    “prepared by the top chef’s in the world.”

    Prepared by the top chef’s what? His favorite ingredients? His best frying pan?

    [yes, I know spelling and punctuation digs are lame]

    in any event, I would take the sex.

    [ed. Fixed!]

  12. joshua says:

    #19…Eggman….if your a typical 20 y/o male…..you would take the food……lol

    I probably would go for the meal…..sex is so overrated. 🙂

  13. Aaron Figueroa says:

    Sex…

    That way I can say that “I came and went.. “

  14. phil says:

    Does liquor count? Give me a fifth of Jack and a bag of ice. Three hours later and you can feed me to the dogs or cut my head off. I won’t have a care in the world. Playing my guitar while I get loaded would be be icing on the cake.

  15. laineypie says:

    sex definately

  16. bobbo says:

    Does make me think==why do condemned men get a last meal, but not a last lay?

  17. Cursor_ says:

    Neither.

    I wouldn’t give Larry Ellison the satisfaction.

    Cursor_

  18. ballookey says:

    sex please!

  19. chris says:

    I would request sex with the rich nutjob, and since I could ask for any kind of sex, of course, I’d want to have snuff sex in which he dies. Then I’d probably go out and have a nice meal somewhere. He’s the one that made the deal!

  20. Kelly says:

    I’d take the sex

  21. Bob N. Stein says:

    What would Jeffrey Dahmer do?

  22. smartalix says:

    I don’t think I could get it up knowing I was going to die after. I’d probably give it a shot, though.

  23. James Hill says:

    The one that has the highest likelihood of the tale of my fate reaching the press (for ego’s sake) and law enforcement (so the sick son of a bitch gets taken care of).

    Honestly, in the face of sex or food, most of you missed the fact that you’re about to die. Pathetic.

  24. whynot says:

    Sex ’til I drop dead!!!

  25. KVolk says:

    Food for sure because I don’t want the poor women grieving over her loss when I was gone.

  26. OmegaMan says:

    Regardless of what one chooses…the killer gets to watch… I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I choose neither.

  27. ebarrera says:

    Sex (but just one question: do time & space count?)

  28. cunning linguist says:

    Well what’s wrong with having your cake and eating it too?

    Is there anything in the rules that says I can’t eat the girl?

  29. snorkel says:

    i’d ask to screw the axe man. Even though I’m straight, I would tear that guy apart and shame him. No way is my murderer getting away scot free.


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