The aptly named Megan Fox.
I saw Transformers on Tuesday and so far it’s the best action movie of the year.
One of the problems with “action” movies nowadays is the lack of action. Directors either want to make art and receive critical acclaim or hit as many demographics as possible to ensure profitability. Last summer Superman was too busy stalking Lois to kick any butt. This summer Spider-Man spent way too much time forgiving his enemies as opposed to kicking their butts. The Fantastic Four were so busy squabbling the bad guy had save the day and kick the other bad guy’s butt. And let’s just say that the cast members of 300 spent too much time admiring their butts. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)
In comparison, one could argue there was too much action in Transformers. To analogize, I’m imagining the following conversation between two hardcore heavy metal fans coming out of a metal concert:
“Dude, that band rocked too hard. Going to 11 is cool, but 12 is just too high.”
“Yeah dude, they should have rocked a little less hard, taken it down a notch, my ears hurt.”
That’s how I felt after leaving the theater. And I’m not talking about the volume of the movie, although it is quite loud, I’m talking about the action. It was beyond gratuitous. It made my teeth hurt. And my son complained that his feet hurt. While my problem was most likely from clenching my teeth, I have no idea what harm the movie caused my son’s lower appendages. But the harm was palpable.
In those rare breaks in the action it also managed to be quite funny. One of Michael Bay’s problems is that he plays his movies straight, no matter how ridiculous they are. However, you simply cannot have a movie about giant intergalactic warrior robots that transform into GM vehicles without some humor. Bay recognizes this and lets us know he considers the source material as funny as we do without resorting to outright camp.
I also wanted to add a bit about how amazing the CGI effects were, but Ben Kuchera over at Ars Technica has already summed it up perfectly:
The bar has been raised for special effects here: the Autobots and Decepticons feel heavy and absolutely real in every frame they’re in. There are long, lingering shots of the models in full light, and I couldn’t find a CGI character that pulled me out of the movie or made me think I was seeing something that wasn’t actually there.
So, if you are into mindless, no… how about mind-numbing action movies, you will not be disappointed with Transformers.
I agree… lots of action and if you are a fan of the old cartoon, you will find the same camp, good fun and humor. Perfectly rendered as a live action cartoon straight out of Saturday morning. My biggest complaint? Not enough Megatron/Starscream interaction. In fact, not enough Decepticon action in general.
Can’t agree about Michael Bay. You should play a movie straight. I think you are saying something along the lines of what Jonah Goldberg calls ‘no pennies.’ I think Chronicles of Riddick does well with this, and that’s how you should do Transformers too. It’s what sets apart the first Star Wars Trilogy, early James Bond, etc.
Is Megan Fox one of the transforming galactic villains too? She’s much more impressive than a GM car.
Reading this review made my teeth hurt.
2. “You should play a movie straight.”
I just wanted to add that this movie is not campy. He doesn’t make fun of the characters, he simply shows us the characters for what they are, giant intergalactic warrior robots that transform into GM vehicles, and allows us to laugh accordingly.
There was the scene where the Autobots were standing around discussing a plan to defeat the Decepticons, and even though it was played straight, it was simply hilarious.
Can’t wait to see this one! Went to the new Die Hard and it is action packed also! Thumbs up!
Bah, why is this on Dvorak uncensored? Getting into movie reviews now?
My friend went to see it and summed it up really well. “If you leave your brain at the door [of theatre] you’ll enjoy it.” Frankly, I shouldn’t have to leave my brain anywhere… the moment I have to stop thinking to enjoy a movie, is the moment that movie becomes horrible. It seems to be a pattern because based on his (Michael Bay’s) previous movies, the same was true for them.
Please, don’t go see this movie. You’ll only encourage him to direct more mediocre to horrible movies, we have enough of those!
6. ” Frankly, I shouldn’t have to leave my brain anywhere…”
What do you think when you smell a rose? What do you think when you see a beautiful woman? What do you think when you see kids playing in a river?
I know a guy l like you, his brain lacks the ability to be entertained. He is only happy when he is being informed. The ability to recognize and appreciate beauty or drama for its own sake is lost on people like you. it’s quite sad actually.
Dang! Missed tightwad Tuesday with the kids so we have at wait for 2 weeks! No, wait… we’re going to the West Ed Mall next week.. .maybe it’s at the Imax!! 🙂
That movie rocked
I actually paid to see this one in the theater, and I am proud to say I dont regret paying for it
Good one Jerk-Face.
Funnest movie in a long time. Everything I like in a summer flick, hot chicks, great effects, some good laughs. Good stuff.
I saw it on Tuesday as well. I’ll simply agree with all the positive comments here and add that it’s well worth your time and money.
XCan, was that your friend’s brains I stepped on? He shouldn’t have left them by the door.
Yes this movie can be fun, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t terrible as a film. There are a few scenes (thanks in part to the orchestral parts of the score) that belonged in a much better film. Just because they are giant warrior robots from outer space doesn’t mean it has to be goofy or cute. For example: A billionaire dressing up like a big bat to scare criminals might sound goofy, but Batman Begins plays it straight and it works beautifully. Jaws, Terminator, Aliens, ect were the big budget popcorn films of their time and are now classics for many people. A “summer blockbuster” doesn’t have to be mindless. Why not make a smart movie with a great story AND a bunch of huge action? Bay is improving, but a better director could have made a much better movie out of the source material.
7. “What do you think when you smell a rose? What do you think when you see a beautiful woman? What do you think when you see kids playing in a river?
I know a guy l like you, his brain lacks the ability to be entertained. He is only happy when he is being informed. The ability to recognize and appreciate beauty or drama for its own sake is lost on people like you. it’s quite sad actually. ”
First off, you don’t know anything (not even that I’m a guy, you seemed to assume that too) about me except that I dislike Bay and this movie. All you know is what I posted. Making unfounded assumptions about a person’s life and habits based off of a single post just shows your own ignorance. I don’t have to agree with everyone here, I have my own opinions and you equally your own (especially concerning my post/me it seems).
I happen to be entertained by many things. For instance, I’ve enjoyed reading books like Tom Clancy, LOTR + Hobbit (just finished it a second time) and Red dragon (sci-fi book) just to name a few. I also watch the occasional TV show (the rare good stuff left), New Battlestar Galactica and CSI: Vegas are my favourites. I’ve watched plenty of good movies too (Children of Men, Sin City, and Matrix being examples of great movies I’ve seen). In addition, I also Garden in my backyard growing tomatoes, cucumbers and a few flowers, so I can appreciate natural beauty as well.
Don’t make assumptions about people. They are usually wrong (as I just proved). I also grew up on Transformers (Gen 1) and have watched most subsequent series when I found them good. The movie didn’t do the characters justice (especially Decepticons like Megatron), and the plot wasn’t that interesting. I will give you the CGI was good, but I don’t go to a movie to see CGI or explosions nor does it make up for poor characters/plot.
Thanks for being a jerk.
Oh and yes I agree with you Scott K, a great director could have done so much more. This movie will be completely forgotten soon, thankfully.
I was disappointed they decided to litter the movie with so much profanity and still market it as a kids movie. Children do not need to hear the f-word thrown about in a movie that offers a Mr. Potato Head figure.
#7: “What do you think when you smell a rose? What do you think when you see a beautiful woman? What do you think when you see kids playing in a river?”
When I smell a rose, i don’t think. I just say ahhh. When I see a beautiful woman i don’t think of anything– I am just thrilled by watching. When i see kids playing in a river i don’t think of anything– I just feel joy. I only think when I need to solve a problem or when I’m thinking about philosophy or what to write.
Just throwing in my 2 cents. 🙂
” Frankly, I shouldn’t have to leave my brain anywhere…”
In film appreciation, I think this is more properly refered to as “the willing suspension of disbelief.” and yes, it is necessary to do so to enjoy certain types of “mindless entertainment.”
Its somewhat of a trick, but can be mastered if there is actually something “there” and not a cover excuse for pure dregs. A good mindless flick like this one might be usually puts me in a good frame of mind for 2-3 days at work. Just can’t believe the “stuff” going down.
#15 – (Children of Men, Sin City, and Matrix being examples of great movies I’ve seen).
Wow! You are a real cineast there Bucky Fellini…
I loved Children of Men, and in 10 or 15 years I’ll pop back in and tell you if it was great or not. Sin and Matrix are remarkably good technical achievements, but great? Have you seen any movies made before 1998?
When you can write 500 words about Elia Kazan without using Wikipedia, then you can decide what is great. Until then stay in school, don’t do drugs, and be sure to post another long post in classic Usenet fashion about why I’m wrong. And go point by point in a patronizing manner, because that’s how I know I got under your skin.
17—Is Elia just a film director or did he write one of my top 5 books ever “The Arrangement?” I’ ve been meaning to look that up for a couple of years now, but keep forgetting to do it.
I LOVE point by point rejoinders. Cant get enough of it. Gotta go to usenet for that? This blog is great for learning where the better blogs are!
I totally disagree on not doing drugs before deciding what is great. What is great is a life affirming experience. I do think however you should wait twice as long before judging something is bad. Why spoil someone else’s joy? I was at a recent wine tasting. Somebody liked the chardonay. I said “Yes, its nice and sweet isn’t it?” So- – – we start with Matrix, and work our way up to the reds.
And you know, if you can’t be judged by one posting, then you haven’t put enough of yourself in it. An acute observer can however do quite alot with a seeming vacuous post as well.
I always wonder about “anyone” that can feign insult from a stranger—and on a blog as well? My goodness. I hope that is posing for your sake. For our sake, I say “rock-on!”
Why is “Megan” an apt name for this young lady?
The only unbelieveable part is the violation of several laws of physics, eg conservation of mass, energy, momentum ….
15. “Don’t make assumptions about people.”
I didn’t make assumptions, I took you for your word. Are you saying I shouldn’t trust your words?
I loved this movie. Sure it was brainless, but it sure was fun as hell to watch.
When it comes to this whole brainless Vs thought provoking intertainment argument, I am settled on a happy medium. I enjoy both.
to XCan
I love “To Kill a Mockingbird”, “The Maltese Faclon” and “A Clockwork Orange” just as much as i love “Taladaega Nights” or any crazy stupid comedy/action movie. EVERY movie cannot be a thought provoking masterpiece. Every movie can’t be a work of art. Every movie can’t be Oscar worthy. If I want to be informed and entertained at the same time, I will pop in on of my history channel DVD’s or watch a great movie from the 40’s/50’s. If i want to see a lot of random crap exploding, I’ll pop in Bad Boys. It’s not that hard, if you don’t like it, don’t go and see it.
3 days ago I sat in a packed theater with my girlfriend wearing my autobots t-shirt (she wore her megatron shirt) and we cheered like school girls at a hanson concert every time Optimus and gang did something awesome. That my friend, is a hell of alot more valuable to me than sitting at home watching Children of Men by myself.