Whale-poop sniffing dog at work
The next time you feel like the lead character in “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day,” just think of Popular Science’s Top 10 Worst Jobs in Science and be thankful that you’re not the person analyzing maggots on decaying bodies, neutering wild elephants or sailing the high seas in search of whale feces.
For the past four years, the magazine has scanned labs, morgues, sewers and even institutes of higher learning across the United States to compile its annual list of the year’s Worst Jobs in Science. These careers require not only an iron stomach, but also an incredible amount of precision, dedication and passion.
So, what exactly are this year’s most unappealing professions? Here’s the list, along with Ward’s assessment of what it takes to complete these careers:
10. Whale-Feces Researcher
9. Forensic Entomologist
8. Olympic Drug Tester
7. Gravity Research Subject
6. Microsoft Security Grunt
5. Coursework Carcass Preparer
4. Garbologist
3. Elephant Vasectomist
2. Oceanographer
1. Hazmat Diver
No doubt, we can come up with a few additions, corrections, whatever?
“Garbologist”? Reminds me of Jonathan Winters in those old Hefty commercials. 🙂
Whale Biologist
Laboratory Chimp
Jane Goodall walked through one lab that had a chimp that was presumably home raised. Poor chimp was repeated signing in ASL “help me”.
Sorry, this was supposed to be a funny topic. I should have stuck to something more like
Insect Repellent Tester (Motto: Bite Me!!)
Dead animal on the road collector-DARC….
3. Or how about Laboratory Chimp researcher? What kind of a black soul would you have to posses to perform painful and sometimes useless experiments on helpless animals like that?
#5 – mark,
Good questions. Apparently a soul dark enough to perform the tests on a subject that looks you in the eye and into whose eye you may look and see cousin. I can’t imagine it.
By the time we get to the point of testing on apes, we should give up the pretense and just pick from among the many humans that would volunteer to be subjects by that time due to their own or a loved one’s serious illness.
In the case where human volunteers are not forthcoming, the research is likely not worth the pain and suffering caused. This would automatically deter the useless experiments and leave the necessary ones to be performed on the species that will benefit.
Now back to our regularly scheduled humor.
I’d say javelin catcher, but it’s not a scientific job.
Crash Test Dummy is typically not performed by humans.
How about Shark Cage Tester?
Sewage Treatment Engineer?
Veterinary Proctologist? (Motto: No asshole to great or small. Alternate motto: All assholes welcome.)
Anyone old enough to remember this song?
Teenage Enema Nurses (in bondage)
Full lyrics for the song I mentioned above if anyone isn’t disgusted enough by the title.
http://tinyurl.com/2e8ey3
Olympic Drug Tester isn’t really a science job… At best its just administering tests.
What is the difference between Olympic Drug Tester and Wal Mart Drug Tester?
The Olympic Drug Tester tests for performance enhancing drugs to ensure fairness in an international sporting event.
The Wal Mart Drug Tester denies rent money to some kid doing an amazingly unimportant and unfuckupable job at a skanky discount store because last week on Sunday afternoon he smoked a spliff and split a bag of donuts with his girlfriend, and he justifies this denial of sustenance living money for menial labor becase in the eighties, some astrology reading bitch and her Alzheimer’s addled husband decided America would be better if we persecuted non rich labor class people for whom beer wasn’t the drug of choice.
Oh… Sorry… You thought I was gonna tell a joke?
Quantum Physics News Blogger
Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs TV Show?
How about BEST science job? See pics for proof
– Scientific adviser & personal assistant to Kari Byron (Mythbusters)
Safe For Work
http://www.tvsquad.com/media/2006/05/mythbuster-kari.jpg
http://tinyurl.com/33rnrn
Not science BUT true!
Duhbya’s speach writter.
Duhbya’s Press Sec.
too bad they couldn’t add a list of the science jobs people have the worst time trying to actually get a position in after graduation. because if someone looked at the amount of grads in meteorology and compare that to actual amount of them working in the field of meteorology after 1-2 years from graduation, forecasting the weather may be close to number 1 in the lowest amount on a percentage basis.
#8 – BubbaRay,
Excellent list. Very creative. Dark Matter Astrophotographer is no longer as difficult or far-fetched as it once seemed. Perhaps you missed this tidbit, complete with HST image.
http://tinyurl.com/2cpxhz
And, my horoscope from theonion once has me and a lawn chair in a particle accelerator, so I may be up for that eighth position in your list.
[somewhat off topic]
#13, Scott, I didn’t miss it. Here’s another great article with a link to the original from 2005:
http://tinyurl.com/3ybjsc
Do you and your lawnchair now serve as a source for Higgs Boson research? 😆
#14 – BubbaRay,
Yes, when we’re not tunneling through to another part of the universe at random.
Cool article. It sounds like we may be making some reasonable guesses about the nature of dark matter. It’ll be interesting to see how it pans out.
Well, my lawn chair and I are off the the LHC now. I’ll let you know how it goes.
#5 – a Republican…
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